Kallah
A videofic to It's Sister Jenny's Turn to Throw the Bomb' by Leslie Fish
[interior of ...]
In an anarchistic garret, so dingy and so mean
[Scarlet, hair down, wearing a halter-top, tight jeans and boots, kicking a pile of laundry out of the way]
Smell the pungent odor of nitroglycerine
[Tseng, shirtless but with a short open jacket, fatigue pants and combat boots, holding several sticks of dynamite]
From the piles of pipe and powder, and pamphlets to the sky
[Elena sprawled on her stomach on the couch, propped up on one elbow, poking through a stack of pamphlets that threatens to fall on the tabby cat lying half-under the end-table]
Midst the dust and dirty laundry you can hear this mournful cry:
[all cast except Elena sing, and hand off the bomb mentioned in the chorus to her]
Oh it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the Bomb!
[riotous anti-globalization demonstration. Elena is the very model of a modern anarchist-gurl in a ripped baby-doll t-shirt, torn jeans and combat boots, throwing a molotov at a police cruiser]
God knows what's become of Brother Tom
- [Scarlet solo] Brother Tom!
[Vincent, wearing only the tight black pants and boots, chained to the wall, in the basement of the Shinra mansion.]
Momma's aim is bad
[Scarlet hurls a tear-gas bomb into a group of cops; it misses and sails into a group of reporters and explodes in a cloud that drifts toward some very confused diplomats]
And the cops, they all know Dad
[Tseng, surrounded by cops in riot gear, calmly explaining that these are all fake explosives and he's only here for the beer]
So it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the Bomb!
[Elena, with a wild bright smile that says she's getting a little too into this, throws another tear gas bomb at the riot cops; it explodes in the middle of them creating an enormous choking cloud]
There are knives and guns and daggers scattered on the front room floor
[Elena picking up guns from the floor, discarding them again, until she finds her favorite revolver]
Look behind the sofa, you'll find two dozen more
[Tseng drags Masamune from behind the couch]
But Cousin Mack's in prison, and Grandpa is long dead
[cut to Rude in a prison cell, jamming on a harmonica and then to President Shinra, wearing a bad 40s suit, in a seedy, cheap office with Masamune sticking through him]
And Uncle Jim has left us to become a Frisco Red
[Reeve in denim shorts and a tank-top, picketing something or other]
[all cast except Elena sing, and hand off the bomb mentioned in the chorus to her]
Oh it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the Bomb!
[Another globalization protest, and Elena throws a bomb. Seconds later there's a shockwave that knocks out windows for half a block]
God knows what's become of Brother Tom
- [Scarlet solo] Brother Tom!
[Vincent, still shirtless, no longer chained, facing down a fully clothed Hojo]
Momma's aim is bad
[Scarlet hurls a knife at Tseng which slams into the wall a few inches away; they circle each other in a fight or a prelude to sex or both]
And the cops, they all know Dad
[Tseng, once again surrounded by riot cops, calmly explaining that 'I am not the man you're looking for, and this is not a sufficient amount of explosives to destroy this large convention center']
So it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the bomb!
[Elena blowing up a police cruiser in a spectacular fashion with a maniacal grin on her face]
In the hall you'll find the baby teething on some dynamite
[Tseng attempting to retrieve a stick of dynamite from a two-year-old blonde girl who does not want to give it up]
Try to get it from her and you'll find you're in a fight
[Two-year-old bonks Tseng over the head with a lead-weighted toy, much to Scarlet's amusement]
But she's too young to do it, and Momma's baking bread
[Tseng finally gets the dynamite away from her and yells at Scarlet. Scarlet ignores him and goes on mixing plastique in a bread pan]
And Uncle Jake is tripping and he's flipping out his head
[Palmer (in the most horrible loud Hawaiian shirt imaginable and violently clashing shorts) bouncing wildly up and down, and devouring an entire bowl of raw chocolate chip cookie dough]
[all cast except Elena sing, and hand off the bomb mentioned in the chorus to her]
Oh it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the bomb!
[Elena pushes the plunger and causes an explosion that sends all of Avalanche flying into the air - except Yuffie, who is sitting on the sidelines with a tub of popcorn]
God knows what's become of Brother Tom
- [Scarlet solo] Brother Tom!
[Vincent in speedos, having just come up from a night swim at a white sand beach, all nice and wet ... ]
Momma's aim is bad
[Scarlet hurls a rock at Tseng, misses him, hits a riot cop and knocks him out]
And the cops, they all know Dad
[Tseng, once again calmly explaining that he doesn't know any of these people, this is not his vehicle, and he certainly doesn't know anything about the plastique]
So it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the bomb!
[Elena, with great glee, blowing up Heidegger's limo; Heidegger attempts to achieve orbit]
There's a sabo-tabby kitten sitting purring by the door
[the tabby cat sitting Egyptian-style by the door on Tseng's Guns and Ammo magazine, much to his aggravation]
And lying in the bed there's a smiling saboteur
[Reno. stripped down to his boxers, sprawled over the bed with a silly smile on his face]
But a cat's no good at bombing, and none of us is sure
[The cat, insulted, stalks out of the scene. Tseng snatches his Guns and Ammo magazine]
That that smiling sleeping freak is not a pink (pig?) provocateur
[Reno rolls over in his sleep and falls off the bed]
Oh it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the bomb!
[Elena (who is definitely enjoying this entirely too much) hurling smoke bombs at mounted police as other protesters in the background brawl with cops on foot]
God knows what's become of Brother Tom
- [Scarlet solo] Brother Tom!
[Vincent in nothing but a towel in a hotel bathroom]
Momma's aim is bad
[Scarlet hurls a tear gas bomb at reporters and hits the riot cops, causing a cloud that drifts towards now rather frightened diplomats]
And the cops, they all know Dad
[Tseng, once again surrounded by cops, calmly explaining that he's an undercover FBI agent and they've just blown his cover]
So it's Sister Jenny's turn to throw the bomb
- [Tseng solo] Throw the bomb!
[Elena, in front of an enormous control panel, sets off a spectacular series of explosions that involves fireworks, plastique, and the new Soldier Field in Chicago]
Squaresoft owns all things Final Fantasy. Leslie Fish owns It's Sister Jenny's Turn to throw the Bomb'. None of these things are used with permission. Please don't sue me, all I own is a malfunctioning computer and a lot of debts. And the one line with pig in parentheses I couldn't quite figure out the word. And this is all Tiercel's fault, for getting this song stuck in my head.