Title: I get off.

Rating: R-ish for some sexy times.

Spoilers: Probably through 2x08. Takes place before Tyler confronts Caroline directly about what she is.

Summery: Caroline can't take Tyler stalking her anymore. She comes up with a creative and slightly naughty way to make him leave her alone.

A/N: Title stolen from Halestorm's song 'I get off'. Which I highly recommend listening to as you read this. I don't own anything related to The Vampire Diaries…and I cry about it constantly. Enjoy!

'He was just so obvious' was Caroline's constant thought. The boy may be a werewolf, but he certainly hadn't learned how to be stealthy yet. Maybe it was her vampire hearing, but it sounded like a elephant was stomping around her backyard. He just kept pacing, and it was driving her crazy. Jeez, he even breathed loud. He'd been doing nothing but following her around for the past week, and it was getting old. It was getting hard to feed when he kept showing up in the woods. There was only so many times she could tell him that she was just taking a midnight stroll…In the woods…Yes, alone.

He knew something was going on. And sure, she wasn't always so subtle when telling him to back down, but dammit this was getting annoying. She got it, really she did, and she would probably be doing the same thing in his shoes…but still. Her only option at this point was using her vamp speed to leave the house, and hope that he didn't notice she was gone. But somehow every time she tried that, he just knew she wasn't in there anymore. She needed him to leave first. She briefly thought about sticking her head through the open window and just confronting him…but then she'd have to explain that she could hear him…and that would get tricky. And it probably wouldn't work anyway.

Time to get back to basics. How do you get a boy to leave you alone? At that, Caroline was stumped. She'd never actually tried to send a boy away before. It couldn't be that hard though right? She realized that she was pacing now, matching his movements and he could probably see her through the window. Wait-that was it! If he could see her 'go to bed' then he would leave, convinced she wouldn't be leaving for anywhere that night. A brilliant plan was starting to form in her mind. Realizing she had been standing in front of her cd player more time then could be deemed normal, she turned it on, and set it to low.

'Time to distract him', she thought. And distracting boys was something she'd always been good at. Reaching her arms above her head, she pretended to yawn, stretching slightly. She casually brought her hands down to the bottom of her shirt and drew it over her head, tossing it in the hamper. She stretched again making sure she was in full view of the window. She heard him stop pacing, and had to bite the inside of her cheek to not smile.

She pretended to bop her head to the music for a moment before dropping her hands to her jeans and undoing the buttons, and pulling the zipper slowly down. Just because she was doing this to get rid of him, didn't make it any less fun for her. It was just those stupid vampire hormones again, she rationalized. She turned her back to the window and slowly pulled the jeans over her hips, making sure to bend at the waist to give him the maximum view. After all it wasn't as if she didn't feel bad for Tyler, he could probably use a nice show, something to distract him from his own issues.

She kicked her jeans off and straightened up, comfortable in just her bra and boy shorts. She wandered to her vanity and started to take off her jewelry, while moving her hips to the music just slightly. She didn't want to come off as obvious, but wasn't this what boys thought girls did? She remembered Matt and Tyler joking one time about how girls practiced kissing each other at sleepovers, and danced around in their underwear. Well, happy birthday and merry Christmas Tyler. She grabbed the lotion, and poured a fair amount into her hand. Granted, this wasn't part of her nighttime routine, but he didn't know that.

She bent at the waist again, slicking the lotion over her legs and smoothing it up, making sure to take her time. She pulled back up and rubbed it over her belly slowly, massaging far more than what was really necessary. This whole thing was kind of turning her on, the thought that he could see her, but would never be able to admit it. Wondering how far she should push it, she let those vampire hormones take over. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra, hearing him swear softly in the distance. She slid the shoulder straps down slowly, before letting the cups fall down. She tossed the bra onto her bed, and stood in front of the mirror almost naked.

He was definitely breathing heavier now, and it was really hard not to smile at his reaction. She picked up her brush and ran it through her curls, turning them into soft waves. Sure, she always brushed her hair naked-if he was buying this then maybe werewolf's were as stupid as Damon always made them out to be. She let her hips sway to the music, as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. She arched her back just slightly, pushing her chest out more as she pulled the ponytail tight. She heard the leaves crunch as he took a step forward towards the window, and then back.

Alright, time for the show to end. She pulled open a dresser drawer, grabbing a nightgown (making sure to give him one last shot of her ass) and pulling it over her head. With one last 'sleepy' stretch she turned off the cd player, and her lamp. Sitting on the bed she just listened. She heard him do the forward then back step again, but then he finally walked away from the house. She listened as his heavy breathing got further away, until finally she couldn't hear anything. She was in the middle of congratulating herself when her cell started ringing.

The display showed Damon's number, and she sighed. Either the world was ending, or he was looking for a booty call. She answered with a annoyed, "What do you want Damon?"

"Well Caroline, hello to you too." He drawled out.

"Get to the point Damon, I'm hungry and not in the mood." She spat out while getting back off the bed to turn her light back on. She figured she could have a bunny inside of her in less than two minutes if she hurried. She pulled the nightgown back off with one hand and opened her drawer for a t-shirt she wouldn't mind getting ruined.

"Well, I've got a funny story I wanted to share… See, Stefan and I were following Tyler around and saw him hanging in your backyard all suspicious like. I was going to call and warn you…But then the funniest thing happened." She could practically hear him grin.

"Oh my god." Caroline closed her eyes in mortification. "You're outside my house aren't you?"

"Oh Caroline, I've seen you naked before, so it's not a big deal. Stefan on the hand, well I think you shocked him." She heard Stefan cough awkwardly in the background. She was sure if she still could blush, her face would be on fire. Hell, it felt like it was on fire anyway. "By the way, you're still kinda naked." He added. She pulled the t-shirt over her head quickly before swallowing.

"Damon," She said calmly, letting her vampire instincts take over. "I'm giving you thirty seconds to run and then I'm coming to kick your ass."

Fin