Pizza from the Black Lagoon!
(Brought to you by Sailor Taichichi Vegeta and a bag of Sour Skittles!)
Outside, the storm raged. Inside, Son Gokuh sat and flipped channels on the TV. Chi Chi and Goten were out, and he couldn't train because of the storm, so he was bored to tears. He sighed, fantasizing about afternoon spars with his friends.
A knock at the door brought Gokuh back to reality. Timidly, he approached the door, wondering who it could be.
"Kakarotto! Stop wondering and let me in! I'm drowning out here!" complained the person standing outside the door. Smiling, Gokuh willingly complied and opened the door, revealing a soaking wet Vegeta.
"Lousy woman threw me out," he explained. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," said Gokuh. "I wasn't expecting any company. Shall I order us a pizza?"
The Saiyajin prince smirked, the closest he could come to a real smile. "I'd like that."
So Gokuh brought out a huge, yellow phone book and dialed a number into the Son family telephone. "Hello? Is this Pizza Shogunate? –Hey, Vegeta? What kind of pizza do you want?"
"Deluxe with everything on it will be fine," replied Vegeta.
"Okay. Pizza Shogunate? I'd like one deluxe pizza with everything on it. Thank you." Gokuh hung up and turned to Vegeta. "It'll be a few minutes before the pizza gets here. What should we do while we wait?"
Watching the storm from the window, Vegeta grinned mischievously. "Want to hear a scary story?"
"Okay," said Gokuh. "How does it go?"
"Well," said Vegeta, "it starts on a night like this one. A fierce thunderstorm was boiling in the mountains. The wind plastered the grass to the ground. The rain soaked everything. Lightning struck trees, setting them on fire and splitting them down the center. Thunder made the heavens tremble!"
As he finished the sentence a huge clap of thunder caused Gokuh to jump from his seat in terror.
"I-I'm not scared," he stammered. "Go on."
Vegeta continued, "Up near the top of one mountain lived a lonely hermit named Ikeda no Raiden."
"Raiden? Isn't that the guy off of Mortal Kombat?" observed Gokuh.
"Quiet, Kakarotto. It's just for the story. –Raiden felt kind of hungry on that stormy night. He looked out of his window at the gigantic lake that sat next to his house and thought about the legend that concerned it. An ancient story suggested that a mysterious spirit lived at the bottom of the lake. If a person came to the lake and made a wish, the spirit would sometimes grant that wish. Of course, the person ran the risk of being eaten, but that was the chance one had to take. Raiden looked at the lake and wished, 'Ike no Bake, I desire a deluxe pizza with everything on it.'"
"Hey, isn't that what we wished for?"
"Yes it is. Anyway, Raiden made his wish, and then he heard a noise. It sounded like the wind blowing through a hollow reed. It was the voice of the Ike no Bake answering, 'Hai.' "
When Vegeta said this, a particularly strong gust of wind picked up and blew, very quickly, through some tiny pine saplings. Over the noise of the storm, Gokuh could've sworn he heard someone-or something- whisper the word, 'Hai.'
"Vegeta?" asked Gokuh timidly.
But Vegeta didn't hear him. He went on, "Raiden sat back to wait for his pizza. He knew that the Ike no Bake would take its own sweet time, so he decided to meditate. But then, his candle went out!"
Suddenly, they heard a crackling noise. The lights all went off, plunging them into total darkness.
"…"
"Heh, must be a power failure. *ahem* So Raiden tried to meditate in the darkness. Not a big deal really, since his eyes were shut. But then he heard another noise. This noise resembled the howling of wolves!"
Just as Gokuh had expected, wolves began to howl from somewhere outside.
"Vegeta?" asked Gokuh, not so timidly this time. He hadn't needed to ask; his companion had heard the noise as well.
Experimentally Vegeta stated, "Er…a window broke?"
Just then, a storm-tossed tree branch burst in through one of the windows. Cold air and rain came pouring in.
"Sheesh, Vegeta!" cried Gokuh as he ran to the window and tried to stop up the break. "What was that for?"
"Sorry, Kakarotto. So, um, anyway, what with the wolves and the windows breaking, Raiden began to get scared."
"No surprise there!"
"And…um, the cold rain blowing in was soaking him, so he got up and moved to another spot. But as he moved, he saw something out of the window. Something that looked like…"
"VEGETAAAA!"
The Saiyajin prince approached the broken window and looked out as he finished his sentence. "Something…like…big…muddy…footprints?" He and Gokuh looked at one another in horror as they realized what was happening.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The two Saiyajins lost it! They ran around and around the room, retracing the same path in their terror.
And then…the doorbell rang.
"Um, Vegeta, what was supposed to happen next?"
"Raiden opens the door and the pizza boy eats him."
"Gulp…Shouldn't have asked!"
Bravely, they went to answer the door.
"Okay," whispered Vegeta. "Open it together on one…two…"
"THREE! AAAAH!"
As the two yanked the door open, they beheld a terrifying sight! Standing in the doorway was the most frightening seven-foot monstrosity that ever walked Mount Paozu! Its skin was a murky green-brown. Its eyes were large and round and yellow. Each of its muscular legs ended in a muddy foot with three sharp, white claws. On its arms rested long, lethal metal blades.
Metal blades?
"I have one deluxe pizza with everything on it," said the delivery 'guy' in a deep voice.
"Yakon?" gasped Gokuh in disbelief. "Is that you?"
"I needed the money for college," came the reply.
Vegeta's mind snapped; he could take no more. He began to laugh hysterically. "Yakon?" he giggled. "Yakon delivering pizza? To my rival's house? In the middle of a storm? For college? Ohahahaha! I can't believe it! Not one bit! Weeheehee! I mean, look! I can't take it anymore-I'll end it all now! FINAL-"
"Wait!" Gokuh stopped his friend from destroying the vicinity. "Guys, I have a better idea!"
The door came crashing open. The brave warrior backed up to the wall. Knowing there was no escape, he prepared himself for one last retailation.
The monster rushed in. It crossed the room in one bound and buried its fangs in its victim's throat. The fighter let out a final terrible scream.
The three newfound friends sat on the sofa, feasting on pizza and watching an old horror film that had been dubbed by Vegeta as "not scary at all, should be comedy."
"Now isn't this better than blowing each other up?" Gokuh swallowed a mushroom and smiled at his fellow movie-goers.
"This is a lot of fun," said Yakon, sipping fruit punch. "Thanks for inviting me in."
Vegeta reached for another slice. "Yeah. I'm glad the onna threw me out now."
"Hey, Yakon?" asked Gokuh.
"Hm?"
"You know you're getting mud on the floor, right?"
They all burst into laughter.
The End
(Brought to you by Sailor Taichichi Vegeta and a bag of Sour Skittles!)
Outside, the storm raged. Inside, Son Gokuh sat and flipped channels on the TV. Chi Chi and Goten were out, and he couldn't train because of the storm, so he was bored to tears. He sighed, fantasizing about afternoon spars with his friends.
A knock at the door brought Gokuh back to reality. Timidly, he approached the door, wondering who it could be.
"Kakarotto! Stop wondering and let me in! I'm drowning out here!" complained the person standing outside the door. Smiling, Gokuh willingly complied and opened the door, revealing a soaking wet Vegeta.
"Lousy woman threw me out," he explained. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," said Gokuh. "I wasn't expecting any company. Shall I order us a pizza?"
The Saiyajin prince smirked, the closest he could come to a real smile. "I'd like that."
So Gokuh brought out a huge, yellow phone book and dialed a number into the Son family telephone. "Hello? Is this Pizza Shogunate? –Hey, Vegeta? What kind of pizza do you want?"
"Deluxe with everything on it will be fine," replied Vegeta.
"Okay. Pizza Shogunate? I'd like one deluxe pizza with everything on it. Thank you." Gokuh hung up and turned to Vegeta. "It'll be a few minutes before the pizza gets here. What should we do while we wait?"
Watching the storm from the window, Vegeta grinned mischievously. "Want to hear a scary story?"
"Okay," said Gokuh. "How does it go?"
"Well," said Vegeta, "it starts on a night like this one. A fierce thunderstorm was boiling in the mountains. The wind plastered the grass to the ground. The rain soaked everything. Lightning struck trees, setting them on fire and splitting them down the center. Thunder made the heavens tremble!"
As he finished the sentence a huge clap of thunder caused Gokuh to jump from his seat in terror.
"I-I'm not scared," he stammered. "Go on."
Vegeta continued, "Up near the top of one mountain lived a lonely hermit named Ikeda no Raiden."
"Raiden? Isn't that the guy off of Mortal Kombat?" observed Gokuh.
"Quiet, Kakarotto. It's just for the story. –Raiden felt kind of hungry on that stormy night. He looked out of his window at the gigantic lake that sat next to his house and thought about the legend that concerned it. An ancient story suggested that a mysterious spirit lived at the bottom of the lake. If a person came to the lake and made a wish, the spirit would sometimes grant that wish. Of course, the person ran the risk of being eaten, but that was the chance one had to take. Raiden looked at the lake and wished, 'Ike no Bake, I desire a deluxe pizza with everything on it.'"
"Hey, isn't that what we wished for?"
"Yes it is. Anyway, Raiden made his wish, and then he heard a noise. It sounded like the wind blowing through a hollow reed. It was the voice of the Ike no Bake answering, 'Hai.' "
When Vegeta said this, a particularly strong gust of wind picked up and blew, very quickly, through some tiny pine saplings. Over the noise of the storm, Gokuh could've sworn he heard someone-or something- whisper the word, 'Hai.'
"Vegeta?" asked Gokuh timidly.
But Vegeta didn't hear him. He went on, "Raiden sat back to wait for his pizza. He knew that the Ike no Bake would take its own sweet time, so he decided to meditate. But then, his candle went out!"
Suddenly, they heard a crackling noise. The lights all went off, plunging them into total darkness.
"…"
"Heh, must be a power failure. *ahem* So Raiden tried to meditate in the darkness. Not a big deal really, since his eyes were shut. But then he heard another noise. This noise resembled the howling of wolves!"
Just as Gokuh had expected, wolves began to howl from somewhere outside.
"Vegeta?" asked Gokuh, not so timidly this time. He hadn't needed to ask; his companion had heard the noise as well.
Experimentally Vegeta stated, "Er…a window broke?"
Just then, a storm-tossed tree branch burst in through one of the windows. Cold air and rain came pouring in.
"Sheesh, Vegeta!" cried Gokuh as he ran to the window and tried to stop up the break. "What was that for?"
"Sorry, Kakarotto. So, um, anyway, what with the wolves and the windows breaking, Raiden began to get scared."
"No surprise there!"
"And…um, the cold rain blowing in was soaking him, so he got up and moved to another spot. But as he moved, he saw something out of the window. Something that looked like…"
"VEGETAAAA!"
The Saiyajin prince approached the broken window and looked out as he finished his sentence. "Something…like…big…muddy…footprints?" He and Gokuh looked at one another in horror as they realized what was happening.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The two Saiyajins lost it! They ran around and around the room, retracing the same path in their terror.
And then…the doorbell rang.
"Um, Vegeta, what was supposed to happen next?"
"Raiden opens the door and the pizza boy eats him."
"Gulp…Shouldn't have asked!"
Bravely, they went to answer the door.
"Okay," whispered Vegeta. "Open it together on one…two…"
"THREE! AAAAH!"
As the two yanked the door open, they beheld a terrifying sight! Standing in the doorway was the most frightening seven-foot monstrosity that ever walked Mount Paozu! Its skin was a murky green-brown. Its eyes were large and round and yellow. Each of its muscular legs ended in a muddy foot with three sharp, white claws. On its arms rested long, lethal metal blades.
Metal blades?
"I have one deluxe pizza with everything on it," said the delivery 'guy' in a deep voice.
"Yakon?" gasped Gokuh in disbelief. "Is that you?"
"I needed the money for college," came the reply.
Vegeta's mind snapped; he could take no more. He began to laugh hysterically. "Yakon?" he giggled. "Yakon delivering pizza? To my rival's house? In the middle of a storm? For college? Ohahahaha! I can't believe it! Not one bit! Weeheehee! I mean, look! I can't take it anymore-I'll end it all now! FINAL-"
"Wait!" Gokuh stopped his friend from destroying the vicinity. "Guys, I have a better idea!"
The door came crashing open. The brave warrior backed up to the wall. Knowing there was no escape, he prepared himself for one last retailation.
The monster rushed in. It crossed the room in one bound and buried its fangs in its victim's throat. The fighter let out a final terrible scream.
The three newfound friends sat on the sofa, feasting on pizza and watching an old horror film that had been dubbed by Vegeta as "not scary at all, should be comedy."
"Now isn't this better than blowing each other up?" Gokuh swallowed a mushroom and smiled at his fellow movie-goers.
"This is a lot of fun," said Yakon, sipping fruit punch. "Thanks for inviting me in."
Vegeta reached for another slice. "Yeah. I'm glad the onna threw me out now."
"Hey, Yakon?" asked Gokuh.
"Hm?"
"You know you're getting mud on the floor, right?"
They all burst into laughter.
The End