"So tell me Ray Vecchio, what led to this current situation?"

"Situation? Yeah, that's an interesting way to put it." I can't help but snicker a little.

"How would you put it?" He laughs a little nervously, leans over and turns off the tape recorder "Thanks for doing this Ray. I know it's awkward talking about it all like this, but I want you to know that everything you're going through I have experience with and I know just how strange it must feel having this conversation. As your friend and in my professional capacity, I promise that everything you say in this interview is confidential and will be dealt with sensitivity and respect"

He's trying hard to put me at ease and I can tell that he's used to people who might not feel comfortable talking to him. He has an easy familiarity about him that I'm sure most people probably find endearing. Fraser sure does, before I arrived he spent hours with the young guy, probably comparing weird stories about indigenous villagers and spear fishing. Not that I didn't want them to get on, but I could feel the jealousy simmering in the back of my mind, just below the surface. And I wasn't the only one, the kid's partner another cop, was practically growling for Fraser to back off. He was hiding it well but I could tell he was anxious for Frase to leave or at least back off for a while and the way the kid kept sending him placating glances told em that he knew it too.

"It's fine. I've been interviewed more times than I can count. It's just this topic that is still a little hard, you know. It's personal." I sigh audibly, when this interview get's out, the shit is really gonna hit the fan. Well in a manner of speaking but hopefully we'll be long gone by then anyway.

"Yeah, I get that man. I kept quiet for years! That's why it's so important we speak about this out now, get some public recognition" His youthful face betrays his anxiety, this interview was obviously as difficult for him as it was for me. After a few moments I decided to make it easy for him simply began to talk. I figured that it would be a better idea simply to speak and let the story simply begin.

"Kowalski was sick. That's what we'd all been told, those of us who'd missed his return from Canada anyway. But from what I'd heard from Frannie, it went down badly. Everyone told me that at first he seemed fine, but you know, a little distracted. No one was surprised that he was a little off, I mean it was Kowalski, we expected him to act weird. After all that had happened while he had been up north; coming home after three months in the wilds and telling everyone that he'd got together with Fraser. We were all too shell shocked from that little revelation to see the weakness in his body, the shadows forming under his eyes. But soon enough everyone saw it, something was seriously wrong with him.

He started having fits, or what seemed like fits, experienced time-loss and blackouts. He started having sensitivities to drugs, almost all drugs but especially the ones they put him on to stop the fits. And allergies he's never had before, strange reactions, hearing things. Doctors, specialists, in and out of hospital and nothing improved. It seemed like every day we heard somehow he was worse. I wasn't there but I heard that Fraser had become desperate

Finally we heard that Fraser had taken him back to Canada with him and he'd gotten a bit better. Then almost nothing, they'd really moved into the wilderness, a cabin thousands of miles from any other person and against all medical advice. Months passed and we heard very little. Letters from Fraser occasionally but usually they spoke of the changing seasons, the hunts or trecks he'd been on. As for Ray, well we heard that they'd finalised his immigration and that he had gotten a little better.

I'd missed Fraser though, there was no denying it. Especially when my relationship with Stella started to go down hill. And only eight months after we married I somehow found myself back here, on the streets working in the same old job. Just without Fraser to keep me company."

"You missed him greatly?"

"Yeah. Yeah, more than I thought possible. I can look back on it now and say that I was jealous of Kowalski. He got Benny so I took Stella. I mean, it's not as simple as that really but it played a part. You gotta remember that I didn't know Kowalski that well then, to me he was just the guy who was s'posed to fill my shoes for a while but ran away with my entire wardrobe. I'll admit that when they disappeared up north for the first time, I ran away with Stella."

"So what was it like seeing them again after so long? Almost a year and a half, right?"

"Yeah. I don't know. Hard. To say that he'd improved was obviously generous. I'd come to the airport to pick them up and was floored by how bad Kowalski looked. Not that Benny was looking all that great himself, he looked tired, worse than I'd ever seen him.

Benny was practically carrying him through the arrivals gate. His face was so pale, one hand grasped Fraser's and the other clenched in a fist at his side. Benny was speaking softly to him, whispering something. There was no way I could hear him through the busy terminal but I could tell that Kowalski was concentrating solely on that sound. He didn't even register my presence as I approached them, instead he curled in tighter to Fraser's side and began to rub the fingers of his free hand down the outside seam of his jeans. His fingers ran up and down the same four inch patch of material over and over, the material under his fingers was worn from the obviously habitual behaviour.

Benny at least seemed happy to see me and after shifting Kowalski slightly grasped my hand warmly.

//Ray, it is really very nice to see you//

//Yeah, you too Benny. All set?//

//Yes. Please excuse Ray for not greeting you. The flight was very hard on him and he's feeling quite unwell.//

//No problem.//

I took their bags and led them to the car. They both seemed withdrawn and tired but that was to be expected after the trip they'd taken. As soon as we started walking again I heard Benny start to whisper to Ray again. I didn't want to intrude but I couldn't help but overhear. Fraser was counting 1 to 6 over and over again. Repeating the numbers and rubbing the back of his neck.

Kowalski was seriously close to freaking out by the time we reached my car and Fraser was trying desperately to keep him calm. Not that I knew him well before but even I could tell that this was odd behaviour for the guy. He was shaking by the time we reached the car.

Fraser eased him into the back seat and climbed in next to him.

//If you don't mind, I'd rather sit in the back.//

//Sure Benny.// I tried not to feel resentment.

Then to my utter amazement Fraser produced a blindfold and tied it around Kowalski's eyes, much to Kowalski's own protestations. That was until a quick word from Fraser settled him down.

The ride back to my joint was mostly silent, but I didn't miss the way Fraser touched him almost soothingly but a little to intimate. It made my teeth ache slightly, not that I resented them their happiness, just that it hurt to see them together.

Plus, Ray was practically green five minutes into the drive and as we finally entered my apartment Fraser guided the still blind Ray to the bathroom where he promptly threw up. Fraser cradling him against his chest as he heaved. Soothing him with words and urging him to drink the water I'd brought them.

Easing him back on his heels Fraser helped him up and with a quick gesture from me led him to bed in the spare room. He whispers again gently to him, easing the wondering hands away from his still covered eyes. Instead he tenderly kissed the places where his closed eyes rest under the material.

When Ray had fallen asleep, or at least relaxed enough to rest peacefully Fraser came to join me in the kitchen.

//He'll sleep for a while and feel better once he wakes//

// Benny. We need to talk.//

//Yes, we do. But not here, Ray needs to sleep. Lets go get Diefenbaker, you can fill me in on the details of the trial on the way//

//Yeah, ok. But you gotta tell me Benny, what the hell is wrong with him? And what is with the blindfold?//
//Of course Ray. Well you know how I tend to lick and sniff things?/

More to come!!!! Please comment...even criticism is fine so long as it help me improve the fic thanks!!!