Two Roads Diverged
This one's been in my head since I wrote my last Englsih Paper. Robert Frost isn't mine, nor is Tin Man. Enjoy!
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;
It was a hard decision to make, especially for someone with only half his marbles.
On the one hand, he wanted to remember, he wanted to know what his life had been like before, wanted to not have to rely on others to remind him who they were or where he was. He wanted that freedom back
However, if he stayed like this, stayed dependent, then he couldn't be the cause of another attempt to destroy the O.Z. He couldn't invent anything else that would cause such suffering.
Every time he thought about the upcoming surgery, though, he always ended up forgetting what he was thinking about, and the whole debate started all over again in his head. He would stay in Ambrose's workshop for days at a time trying to bring something back. Anything at all, just something to prove to himself that he was nothing without the other half of his brain.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,
But, then, when he was exhausted and his eyes kept falling shut as he tried to read over the eloquent scripts his smarter half had left behind, Cain would come in and pry him away.
It was on the walks back to the room they often shared that he would let himself think the opposite. Maybe he didn't need that stupid brain in a jar to be himself. Glitch seemed to be enough for Cain, so, really, what else was important?
There were ups and down to both roads before him, and he'd thought more than he had thought possible on the subject. He scribbled down a list of Pros and Cons and DG's suggestion, as well as so he wouldn't forget them and presented it to Cain the morning before he was scheduled for the rebrainment.
And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
"It's okay to be scared, you know." Cain told him, sitting beside him on their bed. "Major brain surgery is something most people would be nervous about, Glitch."
"I'm not nervous; at least I don't think I am." He pursed his lips, trying to recall exactly what he felt. "I just don't want to lose what I can remember. I mean, what if, when I'm Ambrose I'm all boring… or you don't like me anymore once I go back to who I was?" Glitch sighed heavily. "It's a lot of trouble to go to just to fix something that never should have been broken to begin with."
A comforting hand settled on his back. "I don't see anything about you that needs fixing, Glitch. But, it's your choice and yours alone that decides that." And with that bit of advice, and a quick kiss, Cain slipped out of the room.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference
In the end, Glitch decided against having the surgery, even though most of those who had been de-brained over the years probably would have chosen the other option. True, he was no longer able to act as the Queen's Advisor, but he could hold onto the memories of Cain and saving the O.Z., the things he wanted to remember. The risk of changing, of losing those precious to him was lost by not returning to Ambrose.
And that made all the difference.