Roxas
&
Namine
Maybe I could just pretend
Prologue
"So we could be t o g e t h e r again!"
Her words still ring hallow. Our sombodies: Sora and Kairi. They were the mirror images of what we wished that we could be. She almost looked happy. But how could a nobody feel anything let alone happiness? There was a smile on her face but she was only smiling because she knew she was suppose to. So I just smiled back at her because I knew that's what I was supposed to. Nobodies don't have hearts. They're only empty shells of their former selves.
And it wasn't fair.
It's not fair that nobodies like me and Namine do not have hearts. And because we don't have hearts we do not have feelings We didn't ask for our empty existence. . Then why was it when I saw her for that last time I felt that my non-existent heart was breaking?
I remember being so mad at her when I first met her. I just couldn't believe the words she was saying. How could she tell me that I wasn't suppose to exist? She promised me that day in Twilight Town. I remember…I remember the fake town, with my fake friends, and my fake feelings. She promised me that we would meet again even though we might not know that it was each other. It was a while until I saw her again…but she kept her promise. We met again. I didn't know that this is what you meant when you said it. That's when I said.
"Every time Sora and Kairi are together."
I didn't want to be together every time Sora and Kairi were together. I want to be together with you all the time. I wanted to be our own nobodies in our own twisted existence.
Namine…I wish that I had my own heart. Maybe then I could prove how much I loved her. Maybe then I could show how much I loved her.
Roxas…I remember when I first met him. I went against Diz' orders not to have any contact with him…but I just had to. At first I only watched from a far and then I began to sneak out. I began to see him a few times a month. And then those few times a month became a few times a week….then a few times a day. It wasn't long before I was spending all my time with him. I was almost forgetting my task at hand…. He looked so much like him – that blue eyed brown haired boy. I thought I was in love with Sora. Part of me felt guilty when I began to replace his memories of Kairi with myself. Some part of me wanted me to keep them that way so that I could be the girl that Sora wanted to protect. That was almost two years ago…
Now I'm helping reconstruct Sora's memories back to the way they were. But to do that…he needs him. The blonde haired blue eyed boy. The boy that I have been relentlessly spending my time with. So now I have that guilty feeling again. I begin to work slower on Sora's memories…because I know when Sora wakes up…Roxas will be gone. And I don't want him to be gone…I wish that we could stay here together. I want the days where we sit on the Clock Tower eating sea-salt ice-cream to last forever. I wish we could watch the sunset that will never go down so we could be forgotten. Forgotten to live our own lives.
To live our own lives in our own twisted existence.
It isn't long before Diz realizes what I'm doing. I remember him yelling at me and crying on the floor. I felt alone…I always felt that way unless I was with him. I wasn't allowed to see him anymore, but I did. I told him everything. He was mad at me for a while and didn't believe what I said. I thought that he would never forgive me. I didn't blame him. I did a lot of bad things in the short time that I've existed. That's why I was so surprised when he came along again.
I didn't want to be alone anymore and I wanted so much to be in somebody's heart. Not just anyone's heart. I wanted to be in his heart…even though I knew that he had none. Maybe I could just pretend. So I did. I pretended. Although...like I said.
I'm not in anybody's heart. I'm not anywhere.
"I can't even be in your heart Roxas…you don't have one…" I said. He knew that I was right. Despite that he still protested…like I thought he would.
"Namine…" He's grabbing my hand now and looking into my eyes. I can almost feel my heart melt, although I know that's not possible. It's just my body…this empty shell. What I feel is my muscle tensing and relaxing – not my heart.
It made me smile the smallest of smiles to know that he wanted to believe his lie as much as I did. Although I wasn't a silly girl that believed his lies…even though I wish I was. I watched him intently with my indigo eyes as the orange sun rays kissed his cheeks. I finally turn away and looked down at the Town of Twilight. It's one of those days again. We're sitting on the Clock Tower although we don't have any sea salt ice-cream.
It's the last of those days again.
I'm almost done with my task. Roxas will be leaving soon and I will never see him again. I can't bear to look him in his cerulean eyes and tell him…anything. I want to tell him that I will miss him, that I will think of him every day until my time comes where I cease to exist, that I didn't know what I was going to do when he goes away, or that my heart is breaking.
Or that I fell in love with him.
I want to say
I love you Roxas.
But I don't.
My non-existant heart starts to break and I start to cry fake tears. He's still holding my hand and I don't understand why he's even trying to console me.
"Namine…why are you crying…?" he asks me in the most gentlest way.
Suddenly something in me snaps. "These aren't real!" I yell as I turn my face away from him and I can feel that he is still looking at me.
"What are you talking about?" he asks me.
"Do you honestly think that these tears are real? Do you honestly think that I'm crying because I feel real sadness now Roxas? We're nobodies! We're not suppose to exist. We don't have any hearts! We can't feel anything!" I yell. It's so unlike me to act this way. I don't know what has come over me but I don't care. He's leaving tomorrow and I'll be alone again. So I don't care about anything anymore and I crying harder now.
My eyes are shut but I feel his finger tips on my chin and he slowly turns my head towards him. I'm still looking at the ground and my cheeks are sticky and wet from the tears that I've cried.
"Namine"
I don't say anything.
"Namine…look at me" he says a little louder.
I don't say anything.
"Namine…" I hear him saying my name but I still don't dare look up at him. So that's when he decided to lower his head below mine. I still don't make eye contact with him but he's still moving and I don't know what he's doing. His lips are under mine…and
He kisses me.
He kisses me and gently rises up my chin. There are tears still coming down my cheeks but I don't know what they're there for anymore. And I swear…that I feel something. It was something that I that I've never felt before. Sometimes when I would spend time with him I would feel as if I had a heart but this was different…stronger. And I swear if it isn't my heart beating then I must've felt someone else's because nobodies without hearts couldn't be in love.
I knew
He takes his lips off mine by kept his forehead rested upon mine. Our eyes were both closes but our hands were still intertwined. That's when I whispered.
"I love you Roxas."
And in that moment I wasn't a nobody. I was a somebody. And I hear him whisper…
"I love you too Namine," I hear him say and I feel him smiling.
And just as quickly as felt it, the feeling was gone…but she knew that she loved him and that he loved her. And both of them didn't have to pretend.
I pull away from him to wipe my tears but his hand is already brushing my cheek. I look at him shyly although I'm smiling. He knows that he has to leave tomorrow but he's taking it better than I am. "Let's promise…" I hear him say.
"Huh…?" I look at his eyes questioningly. He just has that Roxas smile on his face the one that I love.
"Let's promise that we'll meet again someday okay?"
I smile as place a hand on my heart. Giving him a curt nod my eyes shine with happiness. "I promise. I promise we'll meet again. You may not know it's me and I may not know it's you but we will meet again," I say. I see him smile and it lights up my heart. That's when I put my lips over his.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts
There you go! I hoped you liked it! The prologue time setting is at the end of the game and in Roxas' provision. The second part is in Namine's provision. The time setting when Roxas is in the fake Twilight Town...so about in the beginning of Kingdom Hearts II.
