Just a small warning: I am highly dosed up on Reichencrack at the moment and should not be held responsible for any of the things that happen in this fic. Like I used up all of my tumblr post allowance so turned to crack. Prompted by the #Reichencrack tag on tumblr which seems to think that Mycroft is Mary Poppins, Sherlock is Peter Pan or the TARDIS was involved and also a post which referred to John's love helping him through it which seems legit because it happens in Disney all the time.

"Goodbye, John"

Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. Sherlock fell, coat billowing out behind him, from the top of St Barts. John wasn't aware that his legs had started moving and that he was running until a cyclist collided into him and he was thrown to the floor.

His head made contact with the tarmac of the road and white lights popped in front of his eyes but he forced himself to get up, to get to Sherlock.

Something he remembered from being a child seemed to be hiding in his brain. Lurking in the depths of forgotten memories, just under the surface. Something told John that it was important. That Sherlock was okay if he could just remember.

As he rounded the corner to reveal Sherlock's broken body sprawled on the floor, covered in blood, words suddenly rang out in John's ears.

"Every fairy tale needs a good old fashioned villain,"

John himself had never heard these words but he knew who had spoken them and how they must have implanted themselves in his head only to be unlocked now.

And then the memory burst through the surface, presenting itself clearly to John. How had he not noticed this before?

He reached Sherlock, but people were trying to hold him back, stop him from saving the man who was not dead, because he couldn't be. John could stop this now.

"Let me through I'm a doctor. Please let me through. He's my friend,"

John fought against the sea of arms trying to pull him back, attempting to drown him in despair. He grabbed onto Sherlock's wrist, pulling himself closer. There was no pulse but that did not matter. All that mattered was the tiny glimmer of hope that this would work.

And John bent in and kissed Sherlock gently on the lips.

True loves first kiss.

John waited.

Nothing.

As he was being dragged backwards, away from Sherlock, he thought he saw his eyelashes quiver.

"Sherlock!" John yelled, trying to resist the arms pulling him back. "Sherlock!"

Sherlock's eyes opened slowly and they were no longer surrounded by people. They were quite alone.

"True loves first kiss, how sentimental. Dull. How did you know it would work though?" Said Sherlock, pushing himself onto his elbows. "Well done, by the way, for figuring it out,"

"I- I don't know. It just…it seemed to work in Disney so I thought I'd try," Said John.

"Disney? Really? Is that honestly the best Mycroft could do? All that technology, and he decides to link it with Disney films?"

"Link it? What do you mean?"

"Well he had to link it with something I guess, but still,"

"Sherlock! What do you mean link it?"

"Oh, Mycroft sent beams of radiation into your skull while you slept to imprint the clues on how to 'wake' me," he waved his hand dismissively.

"You- what? Mycroft planted information into my brain so that I would be fooled into thinking a kiss from me would bring you back from the dead?"

"Not fool, John. I am alive, am I not?"

John could not form a coherent sentence, he was just left for several minutes, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish while Sherlock smirked.

"Okay this cannot be happening,"

"Peter told me fairy dust was a safer bet but I thought this would be more fun,"

"Peter- what?"

"Peter Pan, honestly, don't you read?"

"This is not happening,"

"Well it quite obviously is, John. Don't be so dim, even Anderson could tell that this is really happening,"

"So you expect me to believe that you know Peter Pan and my kiss just brought you back from the dead?"

"The Doctor warned you'd be like this,"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Humany wumany,"

..ooOOoo..

John lurched upright in bed, covered in cold sweat. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He looked down, trying to shake the memory of the very strange dream that had woken him, only to see several laptops and a portable DVD player resting at the foot of his bed. Playing on the screens were snow white, sleeping beauty, Mary Poppins, Peter Pan and an episode of Doctor Who.

"Sherlock?" John shouted.

"No need to shout, John," Came a voice from his desk.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" Sherlock was sitting in his desk chair, holding a notepad and pen and staring at him intently.

"Experiment, now I need you to tell me exactly what you were dreaming about,"

John just stared at Sherlock, willing that this too was just a dream and he could wake up after being sleep deprived for days or after getting very drunk with Lestrade. But no. He wasn't dreaming any more.

"I am going back to sleep. Please turn your experiment off, Sherlock. It is three in the morning. Go to bed."

And ignoring Sherlock's complaints, John rolled over and fell asleep again, into dreams that involved him as Sherlock's shining knight in armour.

Sherlock had ignored John's request to go to bed and added "Rapunzel" to the mix.

I should not be allowed near fandom crack, especially not Reichencrack.

The worrying thing is that this is actually the longest fic I have ever written. I blame this on tumblr and fandom crack and the fact that it is 12:08am. I am going to go to bed now [read: stay up for another few hours reading "Catching Fire"]

If this hasn't mentally scarred you as much as it has me then please review or something, or I don't know, call a mental institute to get me locked up?