Title: Strange Ways to Put Sea Legs to Use

Rating: PG-13 - suggestive wording, playful euphemisms, slash

Author: Heath07

Summary: Seth finds Ryan tempting and tries to cool off, only to dive into some hot water. Slash - Seth/Ryan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...

Feedback: Please. It so helps.

Notes: This is a semi-sequel to "Tasting Like Wine," though there are only a few hints to that fic. It's a crossover with Alias. You don't have to read it to get the gist of this fic though. They are completely different, actually. lol This is the result of me being sleep deprived, so forgive me.

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Seth emerged from his sugar coma at around two a.m. still having delightful images placed there by the mystery man with those cold, killer blue eyes. They'd learned over the past few days that they were quite literally killer blue. Mr. Sark was dangerous. The killer lived in him as much as the comedian flowed through Seth's veins.

The news broadcast was vague at best, chilling at worst. It seemed Sark wouldn't be corrupting anyone for a while. Ryan was relieved in a way. Seth was something else entirely. Disappointed, maybe. He'd gone on a sugar binge, talking a mile a minute and asking Ryan questions that he didn't have the answers to.

After Ryan fell asleep--still refusing to give into Seth's 'deflowering' requests-Seth watched him for a while, before he layed down beside him and gave in to the sleep that was weighing on him. When he woke up, still next to Ryan, warm and content, he couldn't place the feeling of unease.

Ryan's shirt has ridden up sometime during the night and a smooth patch of tan skin taunted him.

Why did Ryan have to be so damn buff anyway? Seth tried to move the shirt back into place, but that only made Ryan stir in his sleep and scratch himself in a place where Seth's eyes had remained ever since. It just wasn't fair. Ryan had sworn to him he would show him the in's and out's (so to speak) of gay life, but once they'd gotten home and seen the bulletin on Sark, he'd sung a different tune.

"'Wait a little longer, Seth.' 'You're parent's are home, Seth.' 'I'm too tired, Seth.'" he mocked quietly. This certainly would never be the scenario if he were on Queer as Folk. Would Brian ever say no to sex? Hell, no! Brian would have got right to it and they would be happily smoking a joint right about then. But Ryan was no Brian, right? Ryan cared about him, didn't he?

Unless...the problem was Seth.

Ryan didn't actually say he was interested. He just kind of applauded the other boy's gayness and gave him a chaste kiss. He'd received more action from his aunt Delia, in the first five minutes the last time she visited with her six-pack of kids, than he had from Ryan in the past five days. Eww aunt Delia! There was a case of incest waiting to happen. Great, now he was starting to sound like Summer. Dammit to hell!

Seth's eyes roamed back over Ryan and that damn shirt was halfway up his chest revealing a different kind of six-pack. Why did this kind of torture always happen to Seth? He had to still his hands. Somehow, he didn't think Ryan would appreciate being mauled in his sleep. Although... No, bad idea. He just had to leave the situation.

Seth's growing frustration forced him into the bathroom, where he decided not to come out until he could get his body under control. It shouldn't take more that seven hours, so at daybreak he'd be good to go. When in doubt, seclusion was the best way to go.

Sitting on the toilet seat, he drummed his fingers on the sink. There was nothing to do in the bathroom, but, well bathe. Why not? When in Rome, do what the Romans do right? Or something to that effect. Mmm...Romans. Make that a cold bath.

He ran the bathwater tepid and sloshed in some bubbles -'just for effect,' he told himself. Right. Spotting a little candle in the window, Seth thought 'what the hell' and lit it.

Seth stripped down and settled into the tub.

He let out a long breath. "Ahh!"

He closed his eyes and began to relax, surrendering thoughts of Ryan into the abyss. Which was easier said than done. Lovely images of Ryan could be brought up so easily and lovely parts of Seth followed that train of thought.

Great. Just great!

Seth looked down at his soapy member as it emerged from the watery depths like a once sunken enemy ship. There she blows, captain! Ugh, blows. That brought out a whole new set of images. Even his body betrayed him. Stupid pirate erection!

There was a knock on the door.

"Seth? You in there?"

Seth held his breath, hoping Ryan would go away and spare him the embarrassment of explaining himself. No such luck. Ryan knocked again.

After a beat. "Uh...yeah."

"What're you doin'?" His voice was thick with sleep and something else Seth couldn't place.

Seth scoffed. "Having a bath. You sure you didn't have someone else take the SAT's for ya?"

"Funny." Ryan replied dryly. "I meant, it's almost three in the morning, so what gives?"

"What, can't a heathy adolescent male draw himself a bath with lavender scented bubbles and vanilla candles?"

"What?" Ryan asked and Seth could just see the smile on his face through the wooden door. Ugh, wood.

"Ryan, can you just go away for a bit? I have a...situation here."

Ryan smirked. "What do you mean?"

"I have to, like, you know, row my boat..."

"Not following you there, buddy."

"Okay. Um, let's just say, my uh... battleship is headed for hostile territory. You know, it's uh...loaded and full steam ahead." Ugh, head.

"Huh?" Ryan pretended to be confused.

Seth rolled his eyes. "I don't know, it's late... I can't exactly come up with way clever euphemisms right now."

And that's when he remembered he hadn't locked the door. Stupid!

Seth dared not to look up. Looking up would be a very bad thing at the moment, considering Ryan was now getting his first good look at the SS Cohen in all its glory.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore, he spared a glance up and nearly drowned himself as he slide down into the bathtub. Ryan was stripping. Or at least he had been and now the SS Atwood was entering the water. This was certainly uncharted territory.

"What are you doing?" Seth asked, even as he made room to accompany Ryan.

"Sinking your battleship," he stated, flatly.

Ah, so that's what it was. That thing in his voice he hadn't been able to identify before. This was lusty Ryan. He was finally ready to hop aboard and pillage and scare all the women folk like a pirate and stuff...or something...ugh, he was really bad at the euphemisms early in the morning.

Not that it really mattered anymore. Seth held his breath. The SS Cohen was under attack.

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end.