GI JOE: PROJECT SUNSCREEN
Dusty and Shipwreck squinted as they looked across the Pit's new training grounds. "Why'd they make us have to do recon training in this weather, anyway?" Shipwreck growled. It was the middle of August, and the fact that the Pit's secret location was in a desert didn't help much.
"What's the matter, y'all?" Dusty heard Wild Bill's Texas drawl over his radio. "Shoot, this ain't nothin'. This would be a nice spring day back in East Texas."
Dusty grinned. "At least we don't have to worry about the humidity. S'matter, Shipwreck? Missing those cool ocean breezes back at Annapolis?"
"Yeah, yeah, buddy. I'd like to see how long you or Wild Bill would last without your sea legs."
"Got no sea legs, got no sea legs!" Polly squawked.
"How'd you like to wind up in one of Roadblock's recipes?" Dusty retorted. "Come on, Shipwreck, it's not that bad. It's not like Cobra's attacking or anything."
"Don't say that! We've gone nearly three months without having to deal with old Fang Face and I don't wanna jinx it! Besides, we got R&R coming up in two days and that's all the motivation I need."
"That's the spirit, boys," Wild Bill's voice said. "Y'all get to the other side of this here valley and get past the little extra surprise Duke put there, and the next round of cold ones are on me."
"Wait a minute!" Dusty and Shipwreck both said in unison. "What extra…"
They got their answer as hidden laser turrets suddenly revealed themselves and they both dived for cover. "I knew there was a reason I hated recon training!" Shipwreck shouted. Dusty just grinned and began returning fire at the turrets. Yep, he was really looking forward to R&R…
THREE DAYS LATER
"So, what's this new mission?" Cover Girl asked Scarlett as they entered the Pit's briefing room. Flint and Duke were already there with Lady Jaye and Beach Head. "I thought Cobra Commander was still licking his wounds after that business in South America."
"Well, you know Cobra-they never let hurt feelings get in the way of world domination." They'd all been grateful for the time that Cobra had gone unheard from. The country they had helped save from a Cobra takeover was now free, but as with all of their dealings with Cobra it hadn't come easy.
"OK people, I know it's been like an extended vacation around here for the past few months, but it looks like Snakehead has come up with a new plan." Duke touched the briefing table; a hologram of a small island in the Pacific appeared.
"This is New Patagona, a small island country about two hundred miles north of Australia. New Patagona has just elected its first democratic government in more than fifteen years. Needless to say, the United States wants to support the new government against Cobra."
"Sounds pretty important for such a small place; why does Cobra want to get in those peoples' face?" Roadblock asked.
"There's a rare crystal that the new government has agreed to let the United States mine for N.A.S.A," Flint responded. "It has a unique structure that allows it to be a conductor of both light and information. Mainframe?"
The young computer expert changed the image to that of a crystal that resembled the tip of a spear. "It's a perfect data storage device. There's some speculation that an ancient civilization-possibly Cobra-La-used them the same way we use microchips. Not only that, it can focus an ordinary beam of light with such intensity that it can become like a laser."
"We think Cobra may try to get their hands on this crystal to use it in an orbital weapon, one that they can fire at cities whenever they choose. It is imperative that we help the New Patagonian government protect their mine until all of the crystals are removed. Fortunately for us there is only a limited supply and they only come from that particular island. If we can mine them quickly enough, we can keep them from falling into Cobra's hands." Duke nodded at Flint.
"And you can bet they'll do everything they can to disrupt the mining operation. If they get their hands on just a few of these crystals…"
"We get the idea. I take it we're leaving immediately?"
"Right, Scarlett." Lady Jaye handed out folders. "You, Dusty, Shipwreck, and Mainframe will go ahead of the rest of us to help provide security for the mine. Flint and I will be joining you guys and the rest of the team to help transport the crystals back to the states."
"If the snakes want a fight, we can literally use those things to show 'em the light!" Roadblock looked at the picture of the crystal that was in his mission folder. "If we go by air, we could use these for an airborne laser system, in case any of Cobra's flyboys decide to try and mess with us on the way back."
"And we can use them for a computer network, over which to send secure information, like our own Internet," Mainframe added. "I can see why NASA would find these things so valuable."
"Good, then you all understand. So get your gear packed, and remember to dress for the weather-it's right on the Equator down there." They all stood up as Duke turned off the hologram. "That's all. Dismissed!"
"See, I knew we'd need that recon training," Dusty said as he and the others left the briefing room.
"Hah! At least we'll be surrounded by the good old Pacific! It'll be just as good as being on a ship!"
"Anchors away, anchors away," Polly called.
Mainframe chuckled. "At least Shipwreck's happy."
"Yeah, but I'll have to take extra suntan lotion," Scarlett complained. "You know what too much sun does to my complexion!"
COBRA ISLAND
"I want those crystals-all of them, at once!" Cobra Commander shook his fist as he paced around his throne room.
Destro tried to be reasonable-never a good idea when the Commander was angry. "Tomax and Xamot are already on their way to New Patagona to negotiate with the government."
"And if they fail?" Cobra Commander's eyes glared at Destro through his hood.
Destro took it in stride. "Then we have other options. The government is still trying to form a working parliament. Major Bludd has informed me that there are still rebel factions left over from the former regime hiding in the surrounding jungle."
"It would take little effort to persuade them that their interests and ours are the same," The Baroness added. "We have already begun a propaganda campaign to get public opinion on the island turned against the Americans."
"If we can get the people on our side…it would be useful to have another community at our disposal." Ever since the destruction of Springfield, Cobra had been refining its propaganda techniques. This would be the perfect time to see if they still had what it took to win hearts and minds after the South American fiasco. "Very well. Contact Zartan. Tell him and his siblings that I have a little job for them…"
THE DREADNOK COMPOUND, SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA
"We're goin' all the way out to some bloody island in the middle of nowhere just to help Cobra Commander grab a few chunks of rock?" Torch grunted. "We're a biker gang, not rock collectors."
"Not just rocks," Zandar reminded him. "Crystals that can be used to make a powerful weapon."
"And if we play our cards right, we can convince the rebels on the island to work for us instead of Cobra-and we would be in the driver's seat for once." Zartan grinned wickedly. "It's about time we had a chance to show the Commander what we Dreadnoks can really do."
Zarana was the only one who didn't seem enthusiastic. "What if we get caught? What if the rebels try to sell us out to their government, or the Joes?"
"Then we will deal with them, as well, sister." Zartan sighed. Why did they always have to argue these days? She hadn't been the same since that business with Mainframe. She insisted she'd broken up with him, as ordered…but Zartan suspected she still had feelings for him. Well, he thought. Once we get there I'll just have to find a way to remind you where your loyalties lie, won't I, dear sister?
CAPITAL CITY, NEW PATAGONA
The New Patagonian prime minister was a short but cheerful man, who seemed undeterred by the daunting prospect of trying to form a new government. He was like a smaller version of Thomas Jefferson and George Washington combined, Scarlett thought as they shook hands in his office. That gave her renewed hope that they would be able to protect the crystals-and help New Patagona get a chance at freedom, as well.
"Your friend Duke told me how important this mining operation is. Believe me, I have no intention of surrendering my people to Cobra, not after all they've been through. I'll give you whatever help you need. In the meantime, please enjoy our hospitality. The Victoria Hotel is right on the beach and offers a wonderful view of the ocean."
"Thank you very much. But we need to get to the mine right away." It was a shame Duke wouldn't be able to see her model off her new swimwear…maybe later.
"Of course." The prime minister spoke into the intercom on his desk. "Send in Captain Jacobs, would you please?" He looked at Scarlett. "Captain Jacobs is the head of my security detail and one of my most trusted officers. Ah, Jacobs." The prime minister nodded as a tall, serious-looking man entered the room. "Please give our esteemed guests an escort to the mine as quickly as possible."
"Yes, sir." The man bowed and led them out. There was something familiar about him, Scarlett thought, but she couldn't put her finger on it.
"So, have you known the prime minister for a long time?" she asked as they rode in a convoy down a jungle road.
"Many years, Miss Scarlett." The man's voice sounded cordial enough, but his bearing and expression were enigmatic.
"Are you sure this is the quickest way to the mine?" Dusty asked.
"There are still rebels in the jungle. This is the safest route."
"Well, that's good to know." Mainframe leaned forward. "You know, there are several questions I'd like to ask about these crystals…"
That was when Scarlett realized what was wrong about "Jacobs." "Everybody, out of the car now!" She pulled out her gun and pointed it at the back of the man's head as the car skidded to a halt and her companions bailed out. "That's far enough, Zartan!"
The master of disguise shrugged as he morphed back into his natural form. "How very predictable," he said. "And how fortunate for us."
Scarlett looked at where Zartan was pointing. Her heart sank as she saw Dusty, Shipwreck and Mainframe being led back to the convoy by Buzzer, ripper and Torch. Zarana and her other brother Zandar got out of the truck behind them, having shed their own disguises.
"Excellent!" Zartan's eyes glowed as he grinned. "Now, we'll just wait for the rebels to arrive and play let's make a deal."
"You lousy snake," Shipwreck snarled. "You're going to take the crystals for yourself, aren't you? Cobra Commander isn't going to like that."
"Shut your 'ole," Ripper said as he slugged Shipwreck in the stomach.
"Hey! That was uncalled for!" Mainframe struggled against Torch's grip while Zartan and the other Dreadnoks laughed-all of them, he noticed, except for Zarana…who acknowledged him with a silent, sympathetic look.
"Put them in the back of the truck," Zartan ordered. He looked at Zandar. "Zandar, you and Zarana drive them to the rendezvous point. Once we hand them over and get the crystals, we'll be on our way. And then we'll see who holds the real power in Cobra!" The other Dreadnoks cheered as Scarlett and her companions were unceremoniously forced into the back of the truck. They felt it lurch as they started moving again.
"Well, ain't this a fine way to get keelhauled," Shipwreck muttered. "When I get outta here, I'm gonna murderize 'em! I'll hang 'em from the highest yardarm! I'll…"
"Easy, Shipwreck, we all know how you feel." Dusty looked at Scarlett. "So, any ideas on how we get out of this?"
Scarlett looked around and grimaced as they went over a bump. "You mean before Zandar gets us killed with his own driving?" Scarlett sighed. "We'll have to wait until we stop. Until then…"
"Hey, wait a minute," Mainframe looked around. "What happened to Polly?" The parrot had been at Shipwreck's side until Zartan revealed himself.
"He was smart-he shoved off while he had the chance."
"Well, let's hope he can get word back to the rest of the guys somehow before we…" Mainframe's words were interrupted as the truck jolted to a sudden halt.
"Are we there already?" Dusty asked. "OK, guys, this might be our chance."
The truck's back flap lifted up. Zarana stood in the sunlight looking at them. "Come on," she said. "We don't have a lot of time. I don't know how long Zandar will be out."
"Why should we trust you?" Scarlett asked.
Mainframe looked at Zarana. "I think we can. If this were a trap, we wouldn't be alive."
"That was Zartan's plan," Zarana admitted. "He was going to have you killed before we met the rebels, then kill them and take the crystals. Speaking of which…" she handed Mainframe a duffle bag. "They're all there-all the ones that the rebels were able to get their hands on, anyway. Maybe you can find a better use for them than my brother would have."
"Well, I suppose we don't have much choice but to take your word for this," Scarlett said. "All right, let's go."
"I'll be there in a minute." Scarlett looked at Mainframe and nodded. When they were alone, Mainframe said, "I guess I owe you my thanks…again."
Zarana's eyes misted up. "You can thank me by helping your friends get back to the Capital safely. Good luck." She stuck out her hand. Mainframe took it, and for a moment it was as if she were Carol Wheeler and they were on their first dinner date again.
"Thanks, again. I mean it." Then Mainframe let go. Zarana watched him follow his friends back up the jungle road, taking the precious and potentially lethal crystals with them.
Goodbye, Mainframe, Zarana thought. But she knew it wouldn't be goodbye forever. At some point they would get to meet again-and maybe, just maybe, she'd have the courage to go with them.
Zarana sighed and went to take care of her still-unconscious brother. It was going to be a long ride back to their jungle camp.
THE END.