Ok , so once upon at time , there was this Mary Sue(her name was Mary Moon Destiny Sage Avery Wren Audrielle Rosa Bella Renee Lorelei Joelle Sue) who went to Hogwarts blah blah blah and all that shit . But one day, Mary Moon Destiny Sage Avery Wren Audrielle Rosa Bella Renee Lorelei Joelle Sue was eating her perfect breakfast in her perfect robes after a long night of saving people and falling in love and getting married at the age of 12, she snapped. She threw her Spork* down and stood up on her chair and began to rant (loudly) to the entire student body.
"DO YOU THINK ITS EASY BEING ME? HOW HARD, EXACTLY, DO YOU THINK IT IS TO BE STUNNINGLY HOT AND HAVE BLOODY EVERYONE WAITING ON ME HAND AND FOOT? AND HOW EASY DO YOU THINK IT IS TO HAVE 13 DAMN NAMES, ALL OF WHICH ARE FUCKING WEIRD OR HARD AS FUCK TO PRONOUNCE? AND DO YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING FLOOR LENGTH JET BLACK HAIR THAT IS MOTHER FUCKING AWESOME ALL THE TIME? DO YOU? DO YOU? AND HOW ABOUT ALL THE SICK FUCKING PERVY TEACHERS? DO YOU THINK I JUST LUVVVVV HAVING SNAPE RANDOMLY TRY AND GROPE ME DURING BLOODY POTIONS? OR DUMBLEDORE, EVEN HE THINKS I'M SEXY AS FUCK AND HE'S FUCKING GAY! AND ALL OF THOSE FUCKING SLASH FANFIC AUTHORS, THEY ALWAYS PUT ME WITH HERMOINE OR GINNY. GINNY'S A GOOD LAY BUT HERMOINE? SERIOUSLY BITCHES? *produces crack and begins smoking it * WHAT? HOW DO YOU THINK I GET THE ENERGY TO SAVE PEOPLE ALL THE BLOODY FUCKING TIME? I WANT TO BE BLOODY FUCKING NORMAL, MERLIN DAMN IT!
And with that she sat down and slowly became in to an actual person, a girl named Ann who had plain short brown hair with brown eyes and an average figure and personality, who, in general, was boring. Everyone shrugged and went back to eating. Except for Harry who threw his spork at her because no matter if she has made the transition to a normal girl , she is still considered a Mary Sue and therefore , needs to die a painful death at the end of a story in order to make it any good .
AN: I just randomly decided to write this , it will be my last fanfic for a lonnnnggggg time . I will still be r&r'ing , tho , so don't panic. :]
* this is a little bit of an insider , my school strictly provides sporks as our only utensil for lunch because they are supposed to not be able to be used as a weapon , as you can tell , Harry has found a way .