DREAM SPLATTER
Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or Napoleon Dynamite. This story is only testimony to why I should 'not' own it.
Rating: G, totally harmless, gosh!
A/N: Believe it or not readers, but this is not the first time I have delved into the world of crime show/Napoleon Dynamite crossovers. My first (and unsuccessful) attempt was a CSI Miami and Napoleon Dynamite crossover. Insane stuff. So, I introduce to you my, dum dum dum – NCIS/Napoleon Dynamite crossover 'Dream Splatter'. Read at your own risk and I hope you enjoy.
PROLOGUE
Don Parker. That guy had caused him nothing but pain over the years. He beat him up; he tormented him continuously since elementary school. He tied him to the tetherball pole, which had resulted in both a phobia and uncontrollable anger towards it. A phobia/anger that had torn his world to shreds and cost him his dream of joining the army. Well, it wasn't a dream, but he really like the boots and someone had told him he could get them for free if he enlisted. Besides, since he broke up with Deb, he'd though a change of scenery would be good.
Deb. How he missed her soft face and collection of boon-daggle key chains. When he left the horrors of Miami behind, Deb had been the ray of sunlight in his cloud-filled existence. Since high school she had become a political photographer and was internationally renown for her work. He had his own business; he ran hunting tours just outside of Norfolk and ran a dance studio, teaching his kick-ass moves. His friend Pedro lived nearby and owned a Mexican restaurant called 'The Holy Nacho'.
But that was in the past. Now he had nothing. No girlfriend, no best friend and his hunting business had gone under. Sure, he still had his dance school, but with the way his luck way going, who knew how long? The one thing that could've made his freakin' existence a bit better was joining the army. Somehow, Don even managed to screw things up. After failing the psych test and his interview had been less than perfect, he was running out of options. He didn't was to move back in with Kip and Lafawnduh – that was the last thing he wanted to do. So there was only one option – get back at Don.
"Did you see that? He shoved a penguin in his mouth!"
Don laughed, taking a bite of cake his wife had made earlier.
"Whoa! He did not just do that!" Don laughed at the screen.
Don heard a click and spun to face the kitchen. He was the outline of someone hovering in the shadows.
"Honey, is that you?" Don asked.
The figure emerged from the shadows.
"Honey-"
He paused.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Don heard a small click.
"See ya." The voice whispered.
BANG!
"Idiot."