When You Fall in Love at 10

A Fiction by: Scribbling Doodles

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"Love just happens, you can't control it."

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Summary:

The story of a girl that fell in love when she was 10.

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Disclaimer:

I do not and will never own Gakuen Alice

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My first love.

I remember it like it was yesterday… the music, the crowd, the way his arms held unto my waist, my hands that was held perfectly by him, the way we swirled, spun and bowed to every beat…

It was romantic. It was perfect…

Too bad, he accidentally stepped on my foot and the whole night became my worst and most embarrassing night ever.

And I guess that's how it started.

That's how I started hating him with all my heart.

I can't remember a single day that we didn't fight. Be it verbally or physically. Everyday we'd be scolded by our teacher.

We would either have red cheeks, or black eyes, hah, there was this one time when we both had bite marks on our arms.

Yes, we were brutal. Sadistic, even. We bite each other's head off. Literally. We're cannibals, but who could blame us? We were 10.

I had my first cotillion when I was 10.

I had my first enemy when I was 10.

I had my first love when I was 10.

And luckily, I didn't get my heart broken when I was 10.

It only happened when I got a little bit older, but not old enough.

As I said, we were brutal 10 year olds that fought until one of us was injured but most of the time, it would be both.

I never thought it was going to end. I never thought that I'd start hating him and actually start falling for him. But honestly, the one to blame is our teacher.

Mrs. Big Butt.

No, her name's not Big Butt. I just can't remember her name, that's all. I was 10 back then. Young, foolish and forgetful. I couldn't remember her name even before she became our adviser, so it's no surprise that I forgot now that I'm 5 years older.

All I could remember was that she appointed us to be seatmates the entire year. At first, I hated it but not only because we would always fight, but because he would tease me endlessly about my failing grades in Math.

You see, for a big nut head, he's smart.

It's kind of hard to believe but it's true.

He'd be able to solve the mathematical problems that most of us couldn't. He was the mathematician in our class, and I? I was the speaker.

I don't even know where I learned to speak fluent English, or where I learned to write a thousand words worth of essays. All I know was when there's a competition, a speech contest or a writing contest, perhaps, I'd be their contestant. Always. That also applies to him.

He's good with numbers, I'm good with words. We're complete opposites yet we needed each other.

When I would have difficulty with my Math, he'd teach me, in return of helping him with his essay of course. It was a matter of give and take and somehow, as time went by, the fighting lessened until it came to the point where we became the best of friends.

I know it's crazy. Two sworn enemies suddenly become the best of friends because of their said differences, but you know what? That's not the only reason.

Through out the year, there was something new. Something that I couldn't quite put my finger on back then. It's like it has always been there but I only noticed it when we became seatmates.

After some time, with the help of novels and movies, I found out what it was.

Affection.

It's like every time he smiles, my heart skips a beat. When we touch, butterflies in my tummy go crazy, and when he looks me in the eye, God his eyes are wonderful. It's like you'll be drowned in those beautiful crimson eyes.

Too bad I wasn't the only one that noticed my feelings.

The whole class did, and that was how we drifted further and further apart.

Every time we'd talk, squabble or just stare at each other, they'll start howling and teasing and I, being the shy girl I am, didn't like it.

So, I did the only thing I thought was the best.

Staying away from him.

It was hard, that I admit but he seemed okay with it, but the fact that he didn't even try to talk to me or something, pained me and that made me swim in the pool of depression.

We were 5th graders then and in a few months time, we'd move on to the next year level.

6th grade was awful. It was our last year in that school. Just one more year and we'll go our separate ways. Well, I'll go on my separate way at least. They were all going to the same school. I was moving to Tokyo, to pursue my studies, to go to Alice Academy.

But before going away, I talked to him and I didn't regret doing that. We were back to the usual, frie-nemies. We'd still fight about small things but we were there for each other when we needed it, and our classmates would still howl and tease but I didn't care. It's my last year, so why bother?

Everything was going great and I actually thought he started to develop feelings for me, but of course all of those thoughts were shooed away when he said one thing…

"Hey, I think I like Luna."

I just smiled at him, trying to hide my pain and disappointment. I teased him a little bit to make him believe that I was happy for him and you know what? He believed me, he even asked me to help him ask her to be his girlfriend.

You know what I felt?

Pain. It was like a thousand knives stabbed my heart all at once, but what did I do? Nod and smile, "Sure! But you have to promise me I'll be your best man!" I joked. He laughed, and so did I, but my heart was a different story. It was crying its heart out.

Hah! Get it? The heart was crying its heart out? That's like crying itself out, because the heart and the blood and the… -cough- sorry. Moving on.

Ever since that day, I tried to get close to Luna. to be friends with her and when we did, I told her that he liked him.

But honestly, I didn't get what he liked about her. Sure, she's pretty and all, but she's… a little bit too… I don't know how to describe her. Slutty for a 12 year old is not right so let's just say really girly. But I tried to shake it away and just did what he asked me to, next thing I knew, they were together and that started my depression once more.

I tried to hide it. He was happy, why would I interfere?

But there are moments when it would just be the two of us and we would talk about a lot of stuff. Sure, there are insults and teases but we were happy. It's like being with each other made us feel light, contented, and plain old joyful.

And when I tried to ask about him and Luna, he'd just stay quiet and later on change the subject. That's what I noticed about him. He doesn't like to talk about Luna. Back then, I thought he just wanted to have his thoughts about her for himself but I guess I was wrong.

November 21st, Friday.

We had a competition at some school.

There were three of us. It was a Science & Math Competition. He was there for the Math Quiz; I was there for the essay writing contest.

Our event ended earlier than our company, Hotaru and so we were hanging out at the library.

That library has become one of my most memorable places.

In that building filled with books and tables was where I had my first kiss.

Don't worry; it's not on the lips. It was just on the cheeks.

It could've been on the lips if we weren't so rudely disturbed but I guess that's alright. I was happy that someone decided to come in when our lips were just centimeters apart, but the selfish side of me was disappointed.

Still, that didn't stop me from feeling guilty and confused.

I kept on asking why he kissed me. Why he said he loved me when he had Luna?

And because I couldn't take it anymore, I asked him and regretted it in the end. My heart shattered to a million pieces when he said, "Coz I felt like it. C'mon, Mikan. I'm a guy, we were alone. I had urges."

I wanted to slap him. He was 12 years old, Goddamnit! He expected me to believe that he had urges? Sure, he's a pervert, but… forget it. It's the past.

When he said that I just laughed and said, "Thought so. Let's just forget about the whole incident, okay? Well, go on. Luna must be waiting for you already." I ran off to the park with tears streaming in my face. I was a pathetic little 12 year old that believed on fairy tales and happy endings.

I didn't know what his expression was or what he did after that. I never looked back and I never talked to him again.

Later on, I found someone that liked me and me being under depression answered his feelings.

For awhile, I was happy with Ruka. He lifted off a lot of negative feelings from me and made me feel special. Truly, he was the perfect boyfriend. Too bad, I loved another guy and the guilt was eating me up every time we're together.

Did I mention that Ruka was his best friend? No? Well, now I told you.

I can't really remember what exactly happened that day. All I know is there was these two guys fighting. Punching and kicking like there was no tomorrow. I remembered running to the two figures, crying my heart out at them to stop. One head, the raven one looked at me with eyes filled with regret and he got distracted which resulted to him getting punched by the other guy, the blonde straight at the face. He went unconscious and I ran to him, crying even more tears.

Ruka was looking at him with so much disappointment and disgust. I remember shouting at him to call a teacher and when he heard my voice, he snapped back to his senses. His eyes were filled with regret and he could not believe that he just fought with his very own best friend.

When I noticed that he wouldn't move, I ran as fast as I can to get a teacher and luckily, I saw Subaru instead. He knew first aid so I led him to where Natsume was. When we got there, he was nowhere to be seen.

Ruka was the only one there and when I asked him where he was, he just shook his head and ran off too.

That day, I broke up with him.

That day, he broke up with Luna, too.

I didn't know what to feel. I was happy and angry at the same time. Happy because there was a big possibility that he'd like me, angry because all my efforts were put to waste.

I was selfish, I realized that, but I couldn't help it. I was in love and now I know that it was hard to fall in love when you're only 10 and continue falling in lovewhen you're 12.

The next few days, he was absent. At first I thought he was just healing his wounds, but a week passed and he was still out. I was worried, so I did what I thought was the best. I went to his house.

I've been there once. I told you before, we were best friends. His mom practically loves me and treats me as her own. When I knocked on their door and his mom saw me, she smiled at me with relief as if telling me that I was there to save the day, and I guess that was the right thing to say because I found out that he was locking his self up in his room and only going out to eat.

I knocked on his door and I heard a faint, "Go away". I knocked again and this time I said my name. It was quite for awhile until I finally heard the door click open.

I peeked in and saw him looking wasted.

His room was unusually messy. Clothes, papers, plastic wrappers were everywhere. It was so unlike the first time I saw his room.

He made me sit on his bed and he sat on the floor.

I looked at him; he looked at me. We were having a staring contest until I broke it off. "Why have you been out for the past few days." He just shrugged. I asked him a lot of questions and he wouldn't answer a single one. Thinking that it was no use, I got up and was heading to the door but he held my hand and stopped me. "Stay." He commanded and because of his husky voice (Puberty?) I couldn't help but obey.

"Have you heard?" he asked me while looking at me straight in the eye. I stared at him back confused but later on, I got what he meant and nodded. "Good." He let go of my hand and sat on the floor again. He tapped the space next to him and I sat next to him.

"I never loved her." He started the conversation and I figured that he only wanted me to listen so I did. I nodded, indicating that I was listening.

"I was just using her, you know? There's this girl that I really, really like and I wanted to make her jealous but… she never did."

I remember envying the girl he was talking about, but I stayed quiet. He kept on talking and talking about the girl that he loved and I just kept on nodding while my heart was crumbling with every word they say.

But my heart got together again with two words. Two simple words that made me feel alive.

"It's you."

That day, I became his girlfriend.

That day, he became mine.

We spent the remaining days of 6th grade together and everything was perfect.

But I was young.

It was too early for a happy ending.

It was graduation day. I was crying buckets of tears. The next day I'd be moving away. I was going to Tokyo to study at Alice Academy. He was staying there to study at the nearby High school. We had to be apart and I couldn't take it.

We agreed on a long distance relationship. We'd just call or e-mail one another, that's what we agreed upon. I was happy, Happy that he was faithful and would endure not being together for a long time but I was naïve to think that guys like that still existed.

The first few days were wonderful, like nothing changed. The first two months were a little bit tricky but we still made It through, and then came our 9th month.

He never called, texted, e-mailed me or whatsoever. I tried to call him, he wouldn't reply. But I hanged on, hoping that he was just busy.

One day, I saw Anna. My former classmate. I asked her about him, she stayed quiet. It was like she was hiding something from me and so I squeezed it out from her.

But later on, I wished I just didn't know.

I found out that he was with another girl already and he was spreading all my secrets.

That day, I broke up with him; that day, he broke my heart.

I fell in love with a jerk when I was 10, but what can I say? I was young, foolish, naïve; and it's no secret that I still am.

Now that I'm 15, I'll try to not rush things and just lay back. Love is complicated and tough, but once it's real, it's going to be the best experience.

I was 10 when I had my first cotillion.

I was 10 when I had my first enemy.

I was 10 when I had my first love.

I was 13 when I got my heart broken.

But, I guess that's just what happens when you fall in love at 10.

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Fin

A/N: Yeah, ending sucked because you know, not all stories end with butterflies and roses and to tell you the truth, this is a true story (with a little bit more twists) and if you've read The love Doctor, the library scene on the "Doctor in Love" chapter is what I'm talking about.

Love,

Saf