Story Title: A Touch of the Past
Chapter: 1/18
Chapter Summary: Kaidan's experience is pulled forward...
A/N: Plot bunnies strike when playing through the trilogy after not touching it for a while. Also, my usual genre of writing is fantasy so I'm somewhat outside my comfort zone here. Details are gleaned from a combination of information provided in the codex and whatever my brain decided to fill in the blanks with, which will be most prevalent when discussing hardware of Kaidan's biotics. Also, I am only ignoring that Kaidan couldn't be romanced as Male Shepard in the first game so they did get together before Ilos and were together until Shepard's death. Shepard is mostly Paragon for the sake of the story.
This fic is finished and one chapter will be posted weekly.

Chapter 1: Admiral's Call

Kaidan sat heavily onto one of the couches set up in the Starboard Observation Lounge as he rubbed his fingers against his temple, trying to alleviate the building headache. He had certainly found his niche today and had worked his way through near two hundred reports, sorting them into some semblance of order so that they could be sent to whoever would benefit most from the information along with his own notes of findings related to each report. Most were going to Admiral Hackett, some would be sent to Anderson as Kaidan did his part in continuing to command his Spec Ops Biotic Division from his place on the Normandy, and more still would be sent to the Council. There were other miscellaneous recipients that he was tracking carefully, but those were the majority and that was where most of his attention was.

He also wasn't anywhere close to being done as he still hadn't quite caught up with the data he'd pulled from Eden Prime and Mahavid.

But now that his light sensitivity was forcing him to take a break, he was curious as to how much of the day he had dedicated to this. Pulling up his omnitool with a restrained wince, he realized that he had worked for nearly ten hours straight on this.

He hadn't done that since his days as an Intel Officer.

How the hell was his headache not worse?

How had his biotic appetite not demanded him to take a break sooner?

How had he not heard from Shepard all day? The Commander had made a habit of making sure he saw and talked with Kaidan at least once each day so what had happened today that kept him from interrupting the work spree?

Well, Kaidan could wonder about all these things that had gone by the wayside so that he could get in that much work or he could actually leave the Starboard Observation Lounge and prove that he was still breathing. He knew that they were on the way to the Citadel and so held no concern over getting ready for any mission. He had even already reviewed all the requisition orders from Cortez and had submitted them to be prepared for delivery when they landed.

Shaking his head at his own somewhat disjoined thought process – his mind got weird after working for as long as he had – he stood again and took a moment to organize his piles of datapads and powered down his holo-screen before leaving and heading toward the mess hall. First priority would be food or he wouldn't be on his feet for much longer.

Useful as his biotics were most of the time, the metabolism that came along with it could be just as damn inconvenient.

The mess hall was empty once he got there and he dedicated less than a minute of searching for something remotely interesting to eat before settling on grabbing a few protein bars. Yet another reason to not skip out on eating was his tendency to lose his appetite if he went too long without food. Tearing away the wrapper to one, he sat down at a table and pulled up his omnitool again as he munched away leisurely. He had dozens of emails – updates from his students, follow-ups from previously sent reports, messages from Hackett and Anderson providing details on the war efforts on Earth that were forwarded to both Kaidan and Shepard, messages from the Council of Spectre-related issues and missions – and he could do nothing but start to sort through them so he didn't fall too far behind.

As much work as Shepard indisputably had, Kaidan was a close second. They even had nights of just sitting next to each other in Shepard's bed completing their own work in companionable silence to prove it.

But that's what being the Commander and second-in-command of the ship at the front of the fight against the Reapers meant and Kaidan was hardly complaining.

Finishing off one of the protein bars and deciding he would just take the other one with him to the crew's quarters so he could see about catching some sleep – the headache wasn't fading quickly and Kaidan was experienced enough to know if he ignored it any longer he would be dealing with a migraine – he stood and tossed the empty wrapper and stuffed the other protein bar into his pocket so he could eat it later and made his way to his quarters.

"Major Alenko?" EDI's voice called to him from one of the nearby speakers as he turned the corner towards the crews' quarters.

"What is it, EDI?" he responded automatically.

"Admiral Hackett is requesting to speak with you on vid comm."

Kaidan looked up at the speaker and raised an eyebrow. While it wasn't the first time Hackett had asked for him instead of Shepard it was still rare enough that it was unexpected. The Admiral usually just sent him any relevant messages or passed information through Shepard when he talked to the Commander when he made his reports. But even then, Hackett was still the one who had most often been considered Kaidan's commanding officer aside from Anderson since Kaidan had returned to Earth after Horizon.

"Did he say what it was about?" Kaidan asked as he altered his path towards the elevator.

"No, Major."

"I'll be there in a minute." He activated the elevator and leaned against the wall as the lift began to ascend in its smooth but slow manner, his mind working to try and bring some sense to Hackett's sudden contact.

As the elevator eased to a stop and the doors slid open, Kaidan shook his head at his own insistence on knowing instead of just waiting the few moments before he would learn anyway. While it made him a great Intel officer and tactician, it had a tendency of getting frustrating in daily life, especially when he had already put in a full day's worth of work.

Passing through the scanner with just a short nod to the security officers, he moved past the war room and toward the comm room, quickly determining the link to Hackett and activating it before moving to the center of the room to face the holo display of the Admiral. He snapped a quick salute out of habit which the Admiral returned.

"Major, it's good to see you again," he began, his voice holding its normal authoritative tone but Kaidan had been around the man enough to pick up the hints of genuine emotion with his words. After all, Kaidan was serving on the Normandy and it was as much on the front lines as one could get and so there was always the chance that he wouldn't survive the next mission they undertook.

"You as well, Admiral," he responded. Superior officer or not, Kaidan deeply respected this man and did not hesitate in relaying his own recognition of the battles going on everywhere that Hackett could always be drawn into because the man was a good soldier above everything else. "I am surprised that you asked to speak to me though, sir."

"This was important and I thought you should know about it as soon as possible."

Kaidan crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at the serious manner of the Admiral's voice. "Should Shepard be here?"

"No, this isn't official business for the Normandy to be concerned with. The information that I have is for you and for you to decide what to do with it."

"Yes, sir." Kaidan's confusion and growing anxiety made him settle further into his soldier mannerisms.

"There was a breach of security originating on Earth a few weeks ago. Because of the disarray of security with the Reapers' assault, we didn't even know about it until about a week ago. Whoever it was, they knew what they were looking for, where to find it, and how to take it without tripping the security measures attached to the files."

Kaidan's experience as an Intel officer gave him a deep understanding of how much security was set around the more classified files. Hackett hadn't said anything about how classified the files of interest were but his implications were strong enough to tell Kaidan that even he wouldn't be of high enough rank to be granted access.

"Those files aren't written to be copied. Most have a final security code that will corrupt the data irreversibly if it isn't deactivated and those codes aren't stored anywhere."

"As I said, they knew what they were doing, and these files were highly classified. They did try to cover their tracks and did a fairly good job except the code that they used belonged to an officer serving on the other side of the planet when the breach occurred. If that Fleet Admiral hadn't been fighting against the Reapers he would have been on base and we wouldn't have had cause to question the access of the file."

Kaidan decided to take a chance on his press for information and asked bluntly, "It's not the kind of file that I would be allowed access to, is it?"

Hackett actually grinned at Kaidan's question. "Never fail to pick up on what you need to for getting information do you?"

Kaidan realized quickly that Hackett had given his answer with that response. "If that's the case, then why the need to inform me about the stolen file? I don't really have the best resources here to do anything about it. The files being stolen doesn't even change my level of access to them. And it couldn't be a report that I have filed since none as of yet have been given such a high level of classification." Kaidan was good at what he did, so he knew enough about the system to know where all his reports went once they were turned in and he wouldn't be cut off from them.

"As I said, this has nothing to do with your place on the Normandy or even with the fight against the Reapers. I'm not asking you to track down the culprit either. I'm telling you about this because of the content of the file. Once I was alerted of what information was taken, I decided to inform you of the theft. You do have a reputation for finding answers where there isn't much to pull from." Hackett paused to take in a deep breath and he ran his hand through his short hair quickly as he appeared to collect his thoughts and Kaidan remained silent to let him do so. "I had never read the files until I heard someone had accessed them. Even when you were being considered for assignment to the Normandy, I didn't actually look at them because they didn't seem to be an accurate portrayal of what we could expect from your performance."

Kaidan's breath hitched in understanding. Hackett could only be talking about one thing. "BAaT…" he said quietly, though not so quiet as to not have been heard by Hackett.

The man nodded in confirmation. "Yes, the investigation files from Jump Zero and the incident at BAaT were the ones accessed. There were a few others taken, but they were all connected back to reports and investigations of the facility and Conatix. We don't know why someone would be interested in that facility or what happened to close it down, but they were and they went straight for those files when they hacked our system."

"There's no reason for anybody to go after those files. BAaT wasn't exactly a secret; anybody affiliated with an identified biotic knew about it." Because in those early years of emerging human biotics, parents were desperate to get their children "help" and what easier way than to make the training facility known so they could be the ones to report the biotic.

"BAaT may have been known by many, but what happened that led to the program being shut down with Conatix soon to follow has always been highly classified because of the Alliance's connection to the facility. We may have not really known what was going on there but that doesn't dismiss our support and insistence on sending more kids there."

Kaidan knew that not many people outside of the students were made aware of his role in causing the facility and company to be shut down, but apparently it had never really struck him of how few did actually know those details. That place and the event therein were such an integral part of who he was as a man and a biotic that it just didn't occur to him that the majority of people who knew something about how he was raised into being a biotic were with him on the Normandy. And Shepard was the only one who he had actually told the whole story to. Liara, Garrus, and Tali knew bits and pieces but not what he had done.

"So what would anyone have to gain from those files? It's just an investigation of a biotic kid killing his Turian instructor."

It really did say how familiar Hackett was with Kaidan that he didn't appear to think that the biotic was degrading the situation at hand, merely pointing out that to anyone who wasn't that kid, it wasn't that impactful of an event.

"I'm not sure what they were after or what intentions they could have in using the information. But anytime someone puts this much effort in getting a file, they intend to do something with it. I'm telling you because you are that file. Yes, there was more involved with that investigation but it all comes back to what happened with you and Vyrrnus."

Kaidan couldn't find words to form a response. He did appreciate that Hackett had even thought to tell him about the theft but at the same time he wondered what him knowing could possibly do for the situation. Hackett was right in that nobody was this careful and focused in a theft without there being some sort of endgame in mind. The intel was going to be used in some manner but Kaidan couldn't imagine what someone could do with information of this nature.

"I'm sending you the files," Hackett's words pulled Kaidan from his thoughts and he focused on the Admiral fully once more. "You will have full access to all connected records."

"Why?"

"As I said, you have a knack for figuring things out and we need to figure this out." The man paused and his expression took on a somber edge. "I know you have never seen those reports and so you don't know everything that went into them besides what you reported. But you are also the only one who was actually there and that gives you a point of view no one can replicate. Maybe experienced eyes can tell us what we need to know about what is really in this report that may be of interest."

"You're sending me the full report? Nothing will be redacted?"

"These will be the original, full files and also are exactly what was taken. Not everything that I am giving you access to was taken and I will indicate which ones were, but I want you to have every chance I can give you to find something we missed."

Kaidan shook his head minutely to gather himself and straightened his posture. "I'll do what I can, sir."

"Alenko, I am not officially putting you on this investigation so communicate any findings to me personally. I will, of course, inform you if we find anything." Within the Alliance, Kaidan couldn't be assigned to the investigation because of the conflict of interest, but as a Spectre he could cut through those corners if needed. They didn't care as much about that sort of thing as long as you got the job done.

"Yes, sir." Kaidan responded, his posture straightening even more at the commanding tone of the one who was his most consistent superior officer.

Hackett nodded shortly before declaring "Hackett out," and the room darkened with the disconnection of the vid comm and Kaidan turned toward one of the consoles and leaned over to rest his weight on it.

His mind was racing. He hadn't had BAaT thrown in his face like this for years. If it ever came up, it was dismissed just as quickly for him as he moved forward with his life. It was somewhat irritating that there was now something really throwing what he had done back in his face with the added uncertainty of why it was being done in the first place.

His omnitool let out a small sound, notifying him of the receipt of a message. He didn't bother looking though, knowing it would be the files from Hackett and he honestly didn't want to deal with reading through the files tonight. He was tired, his brain was already well-worked, his headache was continuing to climb in severity, and there was always the possibility that tomorrow would bring another mission where he would need to be at his best or he wouldn't survive. He needed sleep before facing this.

Except he was now pretty damn sure he wouldn't be able to shut his mind up enough to go to sleep with anything approaching ease.

Maybe Shepard wouldn't mind him going up and spending the night; he always slept so much better when he was with Shepard.

No, he hadn't talked to Shepard all day and while he spent more nights up in Shepard's cabin than he did in the crew's quarters or the Starboard Observation Room – he slept there sometimes for the silence – he didn't really feel like intruding suddenly like this. Shepard may already be asleep and Kaidan just showing up would get him curious and he would ask him what was wrong and Kaidan wasn't sure he could put to words what he was feeling right now. He probably wouldn't be able to either until he looked over the reports and let his emotions process what he read. There was just too much shock and confusion in him to move forward just yet. He wouldn't pull Shepard into the chaos that was currently his mind.

But he wasn't too keen on going back to the crew's quarters either now that he was so unsettled. While his bunk was actually well segregated from the rest of the bunks – courtesy of others wanting to show him some respect for his high rank even without him asking or really caring about it – it was still close to being around plenty of other people and there was no way he would be able to fall asleep if he didn't really feel safe as he tended to while in the crew's quarters.

He was on the elevator on his way back down to Deck 3 when he thought of how much privacy he managed to find while in the Starboard Observation Lounge. People had long ago came to pretty much expect him to be in there if he wasn't taking care of some official business or briefing before or following a mission. After all, the gentle lighting and soundproofing made it an ideal atmosphere for someone who was light and sound sensitive. The rest of the crew were well aware of that and even though they didn't outright avoid going in the room, Kaidan felt that it wasn't the first place people considered going to when they had some free time because he was very likely to be there.

At the same time, it meant that him being there would not be out of the ordinary; that he had slept in there before would help it not concern anybody. It actually wasn't really unusual for any of Normandy's crew to just bunk down wherever they could sometimes when things were in motion.

Stepping off the elevator, he turned left and moved back to the room he had spent the entire day within. He walked into the room and immediately had the thought that this was his best option. He moved over to one of the couches and sat down heavily before repositioning to lay down, his arm moving to drape over his eyes to block out the little bit of lighting in the room.

He drifted off about an hour later to the circling thought of why?

A/N: Hope this first chapter was enjoyed. Feedback is welcome and see you next time.
Kira Dattei