A/N. The perfect end to the sixth season needed this one-shot.

I was so giddy when Natalie covered Monk with kisses and I almost hurt myself laughing when Stottlemeyer told Randy about Monk after hearing the first verse of his fourteen verse song about him! That was too funny!

I've had a bit of a closet fascination with Julie x Randy since the episode Mr Monk & The Three Julies. Yes, yes... she's half his age, but it did seem like she didn't mind having him as her personal bodyguard (even though it's Disher and he'd be pretty bad at it.
And it'd be ideal if they bring Sharona and Benji (or at least Benji) back for one episode of Monk in the future.

As I've said before - Monk is too brilliant that it's hard for me to write it to make it better - but this time, I really think I'd love for this to be in the show!

Mr. Monk and the Welcome Home Party

"Why are you giving me the wipe?" Monk asked innocently, as she smiled shyly at him. His face lost color quickly as he recollected the last time she gave him a wipe before touching something unnerving or asking for one but he couldn't get away fast enough. "Oh no."

"Oh yes" she grabbed his collar and pressed her lips firmly to his as his eyes bulged and he finally fluttered his eyes closed for the next two seconds - Trudy's face in his subconscious.

"Natalie, have you been drinking?" he asked in surprise as he wiped his mouth graciously with the wipe she offered him. He knew from her breath that she had been, but it still surprised him. Natalie wasn't supposed to do things like that! Or at least if she ever did he didn't want to know about it.

"I didn't want you to die again without me doing that first" she confessed.

"But why?" He looked around the room. The money Natalie had forked out for his funeral arrangements ended up going toward his hero's welcome home - even though he hardly wanted the gratitude. But Benji and Sharona had already flown up and not to mention the others that were all coming to honor him due to his sudden death.

Randy seemed stoked that Sharona was there and kept waving at Natalie from across the party, raising his beer to her and indicating to her whenever he was talking to Sharona, most obviously trying to lead her to believe that they were together. Sharona was acting like she didn't care but Randy still didn't leave her alone.

One person seemed dejected as she offered Lieutenant Disher some cookies that Natalie had baked with her earlier. Julie kept flipping her hair back whenever she tried to get his attentions away from Sharona but Lieutenant Disher was too busy being himself to notice. Julie was too busy trying to get Lieutenant Disher's attention that she didn't notice Benji staring at her from across the room... but she was the only other person of his age group there. Adrian Monk hated noticing all these little things, especially when it was with people that he cared about which made him feel even more awkward about the party.

"Because you're the second most amazing man I've ever met in my life and I didn't want to live a life of regrets" she answered simply.

Adrian Monk didn't have an answer to that. He stood outside in the cool air and kept his eye trained on the happenings of the party inside. Benji had come over to talk to Julie but Sharona had grabbed him by the arm and stopped him. He guessed she'd gotten even more overprotective of him as he had gotten older.

"You're so brave" she mumbled as she leaned against him to steady herself. "Just as brave as Mitch ever was... what you did by stopping that bomb."

"I'm not brave" he said at last turning to her, "don't you remember? I'm half man - half wuss. A muss."

She shook her head, "I don't believe you. You're all man, Mr Monk. I mean, you almost went to prison" she finished partly as a joke.

He still kept his silence and watched as Sharona carted Benji off and Randy was left to talk with Julie much to her joy - but that joy was fading very quickly as Adrian could see he was talking about her mom.

"What if I died tomorrow? What would you do? What would you have to say to me?" the voice beside him was taking him out of his trance.

Monk was stumped. This was the question that did it. This was the question that separated the mice from the men. This was the question that made him positive that he was a mouse. He bought her flowers before. He showed her he cared. Just please don't expect him to do anything more than that... PLEASE, Monk pleaded inside of himself.
He put an arm around her somewhat reluctantly, "I'd tell you not to leave me."

"But what if I died? It would be too late to tell me that!" she pressed.

What did she want from him?! He closed his eyes and pondered the question more thoroughly. There were a million combinations of things he could say and each one he came up with sounded worse than the last.

"I'd tell you that Trudy would have wanted you taking care of me and that you're the only one that can." he answered and then stopped rethinking it again, "I'd tell you that you were the first person that I wanted to call once I knew I wasn't dead." He shook his head, nope... that wasn't exactly what he wanted to say either. He decided to give it another try. "I'd tell you that when you're with me I don't feel like as much of a 'muss'." He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again.

She flung her arms around his neck, "Oh Mr Monk!" she cried and smothered his face in kisses again.

"Wipe! Wipe!" he cried from her clutches as he closed one eye this time as she handed him a wipe and he scrubbed at his face.

From out of the corner of his eye he could see Randy standing with the bowl of cookies thrust into his hands. Julie had given up on him. Stottlemeyer came up and slapped Randy on the back and Sharona was in the middle of a speech with her son. Monk knew where he'd rather be and it was not inside with Stottlemeyer advising Randy about women or listening to Sharona chide Benji or even giving Julie another one of those talks (the horror!), it was right out here with the woman he loved - well, the OTHER woman he loved. And one day he might not be too much of a 'muss' to tell her.

Thanks for all your love on the last one-shot. And spread the Monk-ish love until next season!