"Why?"
"Why me, why us?"
"Why him?"
In the days following Fox's death, Krystal slowly grew more depressed. Feelings of loss, hopelessness, and nothingness filled her mind, especially the nothingness.
Nothingness. She dreaded that feeling. It made her feel empty, almost nonexistant. If it wasn't for Marcus, she would likely have wasted away, starved and dehydrated to death as survival proved pointless.
"Why couldn't it have been me?"
Krystal believed, no, she knew Fox would have handled it better. Sure, she lost everyone and everything she loved before, but the shock ironically served to cushion the impact.
Fox had it worse. Unlike her, his life fell apart slowly and gradually. His loved ones died one at a time, allowing his to feel the pain, the impact of each loss completely without anything else competing for his pain.
He always seemed to escape nearly unphased in the end. He was strong. She knew it, she could feel it. Everyone could.
But this was different, she was different. She had no experience handling loss one painful chunk at a time. She needed him, she depended on him. She needed his smile, his face, his love. But he was gone, shown one final act of mercy by the very disease that tortured him all those months.
"I want you."
That dreaded thought slowly began coming back.
"I need you."
She successfully fought it off before, but it was now stronger than before.
"I need to be with you."
She desperately tried to fight it off, but it fought back.
"Without you, I am nothing."
She was losing the battle, losing the war, against this dangerous thought.
"He inherited your strength, not my weakness. I'll explain to him, to them, why without you, my weakness is too dangerous for him."
She could feel herself lose her grip on reality.
"With your love, I can be strong again. I won't be able to weaken the others."
Images flew through her mind. Images of ropes, cords, chemicals, and blades. Images of lightning, water, and blood. The feeling of nothingness was now growing stronger. Before she could carry out her dark, morbid fantasies, the strain of these thoughts, these feelings, proved too much for her to bear. She passed out, collapsing into a pile of depressed, lonely pain.