This one shot just popped into my head so I thought I'd get it down... I'm thinking of turning it into a full length story depending on the feedback I get. Let me know what you think :) Enjoy.
Disclaimer: i own nothing
Isabella Swan tugged at her hair, painfully, as another piercing wail bounced off the white walls of forks minute-mart. The other shoppers in the small town's only decent grocery store all stopped to stare at the white buggy that stood in front of the tired looking brunette.
They all knew Bella of course. She was Police Chief Swan's daughter, and Charlie Swan was well liked and respected in forks.
Everyone was excited and curious when the Chief's daughter had come to live with him. It was well known that the Chief was an eternal bachelor, never having really gotten over his wife Renee leaving, and he deserved some happiness. When she turned up she seemed nice enough, if a little unhappy with her new location, but the town had given her the benefit of the doubt.
They weren't so kind towards her now.
They had watched their respected Police Chief as he despaired over her actions. First when she ran away back to Arizona and ended up in hospital, as she dated Edward Cullen from the unsociable family that lived slightly outside of town, then as she moped and whined about her high school boyfriend and his family moving, almost getting herself killed in the woods. Most of the town had searched for her as she lay on the forest floor, consoling Charlie as he sobbed over his missing daughter. It was the only time anyone had ever seen the unshakable Chief cry.
She had seen enough of the town's compassion, and their patience was worn thin, so when she dropped out of high school towards the end of her senior year and became a teen mom, knocked up off some guy from the Rez, the town had collectively washed their hands of her. They were unwilling to help her in anyway, and no one thought it too harsh, not even chief swan. The consensus was that the ungrateful, naïve girl had made her mess, now she needed to grow up and lie in it.
Bella glanced around the mall desperately, as the baby wailed impossibly louder. Her heart sunk as she spotted Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory on the checkouts. She had forgotten they worked here now, until they went away to college in the fall. Her old high school enemies whispered together as they threw smug glances towards her blatantly.
Just her fucking luck.
Bella flushed a deep red as she gripped the handle of the buggy, grabbing the nearest tin of baby formula from the shelf next to her. She needed to get out of here, to get away from the judgemental stares and mocking whispers. The stressed brunette practically ran to the checkouts, instantly regretting it.
The only two checkouts open were being manned by Lauren and Jessica, which meant having an awkward conversation with one of her old high school adversaries, or leaving the formula and making the trip down to the Cameron's store on the Rez. Neither option was particularly appealing.
Bella had avoided the Rez like the plague since she found out she was pregnant, not wanting the father to know anything about her condition. He probably would have heard of course, but he had made no attempts to contact her, so she wasn't going to either. He was obviously happy in denial of his baby. Not like anyone knew it was his anyway. They had never dated. It had been a one night thing, with consequences that would last for the rest of their lives, or at least Bella's anyway.
Bella sighed as she made her way to Jessica's checkout, the lesser of two evils, steeling herself and deciding that it would take a lot more than a few stares for her to take refuge at the Rez.
Jessica and Lauren didn't bother trying to hide their smirks as Bella approached. Jess scanned the baby formula through the till briefly, but then let it slip from her fingers, spilling all over the floor.
"Oops. Sorry Bella, I'll have them get you another tin." She smiled deviously; leaving Bella in no doubt that she had done it on purpose. Bella narrowed her eyes at the cashier coldly, trying to ignore the still screaming baby in the pram. Lauren spoke over the intercom gleefully, requesting a new tin of formula. One of the male cashiers, a spotty boy Bella recognised vaguely as having gone to her school, sloped of to get the new tin at a frustratingly slow pace, promptly crushing Bella's hopes of getting through this as quickly as possible.
"So Bella, I'm surprised you're using baby formula, I always had you pegged as the breast feeding type." Lauren called over to her as she served her own line of customers. In that moment Bella wished more than anything that she had opted to breast feed, but when the nurse had tried to show her how, the baby simply wouldn't latch on. At the time Bella had seen it as another rejection. Confirmation that even her own offspring didn't want her, proof that she was unlovable.
"Decided I was better off with bottle feeding." Bella muttered shortly. Jessica smirked from behind the checkout as she eyed Bella's almost flat chest, scrutinising.
"Yeah, I can see why. It's probably easier to bottle feed anyway, so the baby's daddy can feed her when you need a break." Jessica said snidely. Everyone in forks knew that Bella wasn't with the baby's dad, so Jessica was obviously digging.
"Oh, but the baby's dad isn't around is he? I think it's completely awful. If that were me in your position, I'd name and shame him for the entire town. It would serve him right for knocking you up and then skipping his duties." Jessica said, 'sympathetically'. Lauren smirked openly behind her.
Bella felt her anger rising, always so easily irritated by Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-fucking-Dee. The two meddlesome girls really knew how to press Bella's buttons.
"He didn't 'skip his duties'. He doesn't fucking know" Bella spat, earning a disapproving gasp from Mrs Henderson, who was shamelessly eavesdropping from behind her. It seemed there was quite a queue building behind her now, all of the listening to the conversation raptly. Bella glanced around desperately for the spotty boy who had gone to fetch the baby's milk. He seemed to have gone to fucking Timbuktu to retrieve it.
"Bella, that's awful! What was his name anyway? He was from the reservation, right?" Jessica dug relentlessly, laying on the fake sympathy in spades.
"I really don't want to talk about this Jess." Bella hissed. Jessica frowned, the conversation not going the way she had hoped.
"So, I hear you moved out of your dads place. You and he having problems?"
Jesus, didn't this bitch give up?
"Charlie and I are just fine thanks jess, maybe if you worked as much as you gossiped you wouldn't have a queue a mile long. Is that guy going to be much longer with the milk?" Bella ground out. Jessica opened her mouth, no doubt to dig for more dirt, or perhaps retort to Bella's snipe. She was cut off abruptly by spotty-guy walking up behind her
"I'm sorry, that was the last tin of formula we have." Spotty-guy stuttered. Lauren grinned slyly from her checkout.
"Oh well, I'm sure they have some in stock at the Cameron's store on the reservation. Maybe the baby's daddy can bring some up for you." she smirked evilly. Bella narrowed her eyes at the devious girls before storming out of the store, baby stroller in tow. She had endured Jessica and Lauren for no god damn reason and it just added to the fury she felt over having to enter the Rez for the first time since that night. The night the baby was conceived.
After quickly strapping the still wailing baby into the car seat, and heaving the folded stroller into the bed of the rusty old truck, Bella drove purposefully towards la push. She dreaded going down to the little reservation, but if she didn't she'd have to drive to Port Angeles, and she was already stressed out with the crying child in the passenger seat.
Bella grimaced as she thought of another reason she should avoid the Rez at all costs. She had to drive right by Billy's house and apart from the fact that her ex-best friend Jake lived there, Charlie would probably also be visiting. It was a Sunday after all and there was a game on TV too.
Jessica had hit a nerve when she had asked about Charlie earlier; more so than when she had attempted to dig for dirt on the baby's dad, because the truth was Charlie and Bella were not fine at all.
When Charlie had found out his only daughter was pregnant he had hit the roof. He had demanded to know who the father was, and when Bella wouldn't tell him, he had given her an ultimatum. Reveal the father's name, or move out. Bella had taken the easiest option, yet again, and moved into her rundown little apartment the very next day. Charlie had been beside himself ever since, from what she heard, but there were things said during that argument that she couldn't forgive him for, and things that she couldn't forgive herself for.
Bella hadn't seen her dad ever since.
Bella was tugged from her memories as the little red house of billy and Jacob black came into view. It was like a knife to the gut seeing that nothing had changed down here. Same old rabbit in the makeshift garage, same little ramp for Billy's wheelchair, same few deckchairs on the back lawn where they would sometimes have dinner.
Everything the same, whilst Bella's life had changed so drastically.
The brunette felt something wet slide down her cheek and cursed her stupid post-pregnancy hormones. They were always making her weepy over silly sentimental rubbish. The baby cries from the passenger seat were slowly dying down. She had obviously worn herself out. Bella cursed that she hadn't got her home before she let her sleep. The doctor had told her that Bella should sleep every time the baby slept in order to recharge. He hadn't mentioned how she was supposed to fit anything else in around sleeping and nursing a wailing child.
Bella didn't realise she had pulled over outside of the blacks house until a sharp tap rapped on the passenger window, promptly waking the child and setting off another round of shrieks. Bella looked angrily towards the window to see her former friend glaring back at her.
This day simply could not get any fucking worse. Bella slapped her hands over her face, frustrated, before leaning over to crack the window.
"What do you want?" she snarled at the boy she would have once called her honorary brother. Jacob blinked surprised for a moment before setting his face back into the stone cold mask Bella had become accustomed to in the last days of their friendship.
"What the Hell are you talking about Bella? You stopped outside of MY house. What do you want?" he growled angrily. Bella noticed how he glanced at the crying bundle in the passenger seat more frequently than one normally would.
"I don't want anything from you!" Bella spat. "The baby was crying and I pulled over to try and calm her."
"Bullshit!" Jacob snarled. "The baby wasn't making any noise before I knocked on the window and you know it. If you're looking for Charlie, he's not here. You still wouldn't be welcome even if he was. You broke your dads heart you selfish little bitch."
Bella flinched as if Jacob had slapped her. It felt as though he had. She was silent for a moment as she tried to control the tears that were threatening to spill over onto her cheeks.
"You don't know anything." She mumbled as she started the truck up again, eager to get away from the stranger who she once thought of as family. Jacob sneered at her unkindly.
"Of course I don't Bella. Get out of here before I say something I really regret. That baby obviously needs feeding." He glanced at the child disdainfully, fuelling Bella's anger.
"Do not tell me how to look after my child Jacob. You can call me many things but not a bad mother."
"Your all alone Bella! You've cut off everyone that cares about you! You live in a grotty apartment that drug addicts would turn their noses up at and, to top it all, you don't even know who the father of your child is!"
"I do know who he is!"
"Well why refuse to tell charlie? Why abandon him instead of giving a simple name?"
"Because he would disown me anyway, and probably kill the boy!" Bella shrieked as she pressed her foot to the accelerator and left Jacob staring after her confusedly.
It wasn't far to the store from the Black's house. It actually took longer to get the pram unfolded than it did to drive the remaining distance. The baby's cries had quietened to unhappy whimpers and Bella knew she was starving, but it would be another half an hour at least before she got the milk powder home and made a bottle.
She hurriedly pushed the buggy through the doors of the small shop as fast as she could, not wanting a repeat of what had happened at the minute mart. Just as she hoped she wouldn't meet anyone else she knew, she saw him.
The baby's daddy.
Paul 'fucks-anything-with-a-pair-of-tits' Lahote.
Bella should have known that he worked here. It was the shop belonging to his best friend's family, after all. She reasoned with herself that she had simply blocked out any thoughts of the possibility of bumping into him here.
Bella glanced at the doors wearily and back to the checkouts. She did not want to face him. But her baby needed milk. She hadn't seen him since that night. But there wasn't another store around for miles.
She would have to do it.
She ran through the easiest way to get out of here with the milk and avoid too much fuss. There wasn't one. Paul might look like a brainless jock, but he wasn't one. He was actually very smart, and one look at the baby, with her tanned skin and black hair, and he would do the maths.
The way out of this was the hope that Paul had long since forgotten their miniscule fling and didn't even remember her. It was a long shot, but if anyone could forget that they had slept with someone, Paul Lahote would be it. He practically needed a card catalogue to keep track of his sexual partners.
Bella rushed down the aisle filled with nappies, baby foods and other things alike. It took a few minutes to locate the bright yellow tins of milk powder, and she stocked up three just in case some wise ass checkout boy decided to 'accidently' spill the powder and force her into another conversation she didn't want to have.
It wasn't likely, seeing as Paul was the only checkout boy working today, but she decided that she would rather be safe than sorry.
Pushing the buggy down the aisle felt like walking the last mile. Bella found herself going slower and slower as she approached.
Paul was sitting on the stool with his feet propped up on the counter, laughing at some stupid comic book he was reading. She approached the counter and put the tins down, keeping her head ducked. Paul stood as he ran the tins through the checkout. He was staring at her as he worked, though Bella refused to meet his gaze.
"Hey, don't I know you?" he asked quizzically. Bella didn't know whether to be relieved or insulted. She slowly lifted her head up to look at him. A look of recognition flashed through his eyes. Bella's hopes plummeted.
"Hey, Bella wasn't it? I remember now. Didn't know you had a kid." He smiled. Bella hated the fact that his smile made her heart flutter.
"I didn't." Bella murmured.
"Sorry, what was that?"
"I didn't have a kid."
Paul stared at her confused for a long moment, the silence seeming to stretch on and on. He glanced into the pram wearily before he seemed to take in her dark skin and her black hair. Bella watched as the different emotions passed over his face. Realisation. Shock. Horror. Desperation. Disbelief.
"Is she… I mean did you…." Paul stuttered uncontrollably as he stared at the baby. Bella had known he would react like this if he ever found out, but it didn't stop the pang of pain piercing her chest.
"Yes she's yours. No, I don't want anything from you. I'm quite happy having nothing to do with you." Bella snapped harshly. Paul looked slightly defensive as he finally tore his eyes away from the child.
"You should have told me. I have the right to know. What if I wanted to be part of her life?"
"Yeah because I'm sure La Push's resident whore would have stepped up to play happy families. Forget it Paul, I'm managing fine without you."
As if to contradict her, the baby let out a piercing wail. Bella imagined that if she could talk she would be shouting from the rooftops that her momma was not managing fine. Bella knew it herself, that she was desperate for help, but her pride refused to let her ask for it. The town, her dad and all her friends had cut her out, and she would not go begging. She hadn't even told Renee about being pregnant. She didn't doubt that Charlie had, but Bella hadn't checked her email so any messages Renee may have sent went unread.
"You have no right telling me what I would have done if you had told me! You don't know anything about me! I could help you Bella, everyone needs help." Paul was speaking again.
"Yeah, your right, I don't know anything about you except that you hang around in some sort of cult with Sam and Jake and the other guys. You really think I'm going to trust you to look after my child when everyone from here to forks says that your all on drugs?" Bella laughed nastily. She didn't know why she was being so mean, except that she was feeling intensely guilty. Paul was right really, she should have told him, but that didn't mean to say what she was saying wasn't true. People were talking about Sam Uley and the group of unnaturally large boys that shook when they got angry and walked around without shirts all year round. It was weird, and for forks anything slightly out of the ordinary was classed as front page news.
"it's not a cult. We do important work for the tribe." Paul fumed. He had placed both of his palms flat against the counter and was leaning over towards Bella menacingly. Bella cowered back a little before standing up straight and determined.
"Look Paul, I didn't come here to fight with you. I didn't even know you worked here. I came for baby milk formula, so let me pay for it and I'll be out of here and you can forget all about me and my baby."
"Our baby!" Paul growled, his eyes darkening dangerously. "Even if you're too selfish to recognise that I have rights, shouldn't you take into account her rights? Or do you always put yourself first?"
Bella was staring to wish she had just braved the babies wailing and drove to Port Angeles for the formula. Paul didn't look like he was planning on letting her go easily. He was starting to do that weird shaking thing that Jake did in the few times she had seen him since he had told her they couldn't be friends. The angry shaking thing that leads people to believe the boys in Sam's gang were on drugs. It frightened Bella and she scooted towards the baby stroller instinctively. Paul was a big guy and he could easily kill her with one punch, but more to the point he could hurt the baby and even if Bella wasn't a good mom, even she would die to protect her child.
"Of course I think she should have the right to see you, but that will be for her to decide when she's old enough." Bella rushed in a strangely high pitched voice. Pauls shaking increased.
"And what will you tell her when she asks why I haven't been there for her? Will you tell her I didn't want to know her? That I was too busy to spend time with her? Or will you tell her the truth and say that her own mother denied her the chance to have a father in her life? Will you admit to her that you are the reason I didn't go to her dance recital? That I wasn't there to congratulate her on getting high scores at school? That you wouldn't even let me be there to teach her how to ride a bike? Or will you place all of the blame on my shoulders?"
Bella was silent and Paul nodded sharply.
"That's what I thought. There is no way in hell I am going to let you do that. I want access!" Paul yelled. "I don't even know her name!" he seemed despairing and Bella knew he was right. He should have access. He should have had the choice to be there for her when she was born. Bella had screwed everything up and she couldn't see anyway to put things right. Paul, Charlie, Jake, Billy, Renee, Angela. She needed to fix her relationships with these people. Her baby deserved to have a back-up plan, seeing as Bella herself would probably screw motherhood up too. Her baby needed to have people she could go to when Bella failed, as she undoubtedly would.
Bella nodded at Paul and stared at the floor. Paul was breathing heavily from his anger, though the shaking had stopped.
"Her name is Charlene Jay Swan but I usually call her Charlie. You can see her whenever you like. I'm sorry for what I've done" Bella muttered, glancing through her eyelashes at Paul. He seemed to deflate slightly as he watched a tear slide down the brunette's cheek. Baby Charlie chose this moment to wake up again and start wailing Paul trod around the counter and dithered in front of the stroller. He looked towards Bella uncertainly.
"Can I…?" he started, gesturing toward the tiny girl. Bella nodded and helped him unbuckle the harness that kept her from falling out of the buggy. Paul cradled her gently in his giant arms. Bella was weeping silently now, but she couldn't help it. She turned away from baby Charlie who had quieted to a whimper in her daddy's arms.
She was discreetly trying to wipe away the tears when Paul laid his hand on her shoulder and turned her around. He had a look of compassion on his usually smirking face.
"Hey, I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I know this cant of been easy on you and I know you had every reason not to trust me with this. I know I can be kin of a jerk at times but I promise I'm not going to mess this up." He gazed down at Charlene adoringly. He had known he was a dad for 5 minutes and already he seemed to love the tiny girl.
"It's not you Paul. Your right, I should have told you straight away. I've messed a lot of things up and I just don't know how to deal with it." Bella admitted, hiccupping slightly as she sobbed. Paul stared down at her for a moment before slinging an arm around her shoulders and guiding her towards what she assumed was the stock room.
"I'm going to make us both a coffee, you can make baby Charlene Jay a bottle and then you can tell me everything. It sounds like you need someone to listen to you." Paul handed her the tin of baby formula and led her to a small kitchenette in the back of the store room. There were several small TVs that showed the CCTV of the shop floor. Bella smiled gratefully as she set about getting the baby's bottle prepared.
"Well it sounds to me like you have a lot of grovelling to do to a lot of people" Paul said softly as he rocked the sleeping baby in his arms. He had been oddly excited to give baby Charlie her bottle and Bella had been grateful to have a cup of coffee before it went cold for a change.
"I know, but I'm frightened they aren't going to accept my apologies." She admitted quietly. It had been good telling Paul everything, and surprisingly easy. He was a pretty good listener. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest.
"I think it may take some time, but they will forgive you. I don't know your dad very well, but I know Jacob and Billy and they are not the type to hold grudges. Even if they don't forgive you, don't you think you owe it to them all to at least try?"
"I guess I do."
"Would you like me to come with you? You can tell them now that it was me that got you pregnant. I can come with you and fight your case, tell them you were trying to protect me and the baby."
"No. I think it will make things worse if you show up with me. I will tell them but I think that my dad especially will want some time to cool off after I tell him. Besides, I need to apologize for a lot more than what happened after I got pregnant. My dad deserves an apology for the way I've acted ever since I came back to forks." Bella toyed with a loose thread on her shirt.
"Ah, you mean the Cullens" Paul said, ill-disguised disgust evident in his tone. Bella had forgotten how much the Cullens were hated down here. The truth was that Bella hadn't even thought about the Cullens for months. A year ago Bella would have defended them, but she was at least wiser about that aspect now. She saw them for the cowardly monsters they were.
"Yeah. Among other things. I don't know how I'm going to go about this." she admitted despondently. Paul smiled softly.
"I'll text Jake for you and hell meet you at the beach. Explain everything to him and I'm pretty sure the kid will forgive you instantaneously. Jake will smooth Billy over for you after that. Then you drive directly to your dads and talk to him. Have it all out. Don't leave anything unsaid or it'll just leave more tension in your relationship. Your mom and Angela can wait. From what you've said you weren't extremely close to either of them anyway. You can call your mom tonight when you get home and talk it out with her and you can call Angela tomorrow and ask if she wants to meet up for a coffee and a chat. As for me… well were pretty much sorted. I'm pretty forgiving Bella, as long as you let me be a part of her life. I can give you my cell phone number and you can call me and let me know when I can come over"
Paul's idea seemed pretty good. He was already texting Jake as he spoke. Bella wanted to be sick due to her nerves. She stood up and made to gather Charlene's things together. Paul stopped her by placing his large hand on her arm.
"Can I keep her here? Just until you've spoken to Jake? You can come right back and get her after." He pleaded. Bella hesitated. She had never left baby Charlie with anyone before, but she supposed it was freezing on the beach, and it was only right she give Paul time to bond with their daughter, especially seeing as she had denied him the chance so far. She nodded hesitantly.
"I'll write my cell number down for you in case you have any problems. Paul, thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being so understanding and for listening to me whine. I've needed this kick in the right direction and I didn't even realise it." Bella said sincerely.
"No problem Ducky. Go make up with Black. Maybe you can put a smile back on his ugly mug." Paul joked, smiling down at Charlene who was gurgling happily now that she'd been fed.
Bella bent to kiss her daughter on the head before smiling shyly at Paul and heading towards the exit.
It was grovelling time.
Jacob was sat on the sand beside the old driftwood log they had claimed as 'theirs' so long ago. He watched her as she walked slowly towards him.
"It's Paul's baby isn't it?" he asked flatly. Bella started.
"How did you know?" she asked Jake smiled wryly.
"He texted me telling me to meet you. I didn't even know you knew each other. You haven't spoke to anyone in months and then all of a sudden you're talking to Paul. Your baby's daddy is obviously from la push, or some other reservation. Doesn't take a genius to fit this jigsaw together Bella."
Of course. Jake wasn't stupid. It saved her having to tell him she supposed.
"Are you mad?" she asked as she slid onto the sand beside him. He chuckled quietly.
"No. I just don't understand. Sure Paul is a bit of an asshole, but he's not a bad guy. Why wouldn't you tell anyone? Was it worth falling out with Charlie to keep it a secret?" Jake asked. He sounded honestly confused.
"I was scared Jacob. I was scared I'd tell them she was his and he'd deny it. That he'd reject us. I didn't want him to suffer for my mistakes either. I didn't want him to feel obligated to be stuck with us. I guess I was being selfish too. I was a mess. Still am sometimes I suppose. Even before the pregnancy, I was totally messed up. I made too many mistakes and hurt a lot of people. You and Charlie are the most important people in my life besides my baby and I hurt you."
Jake slung his arm around her, hugging her to his chest as she once again erupted into tears.
"When she was born and she had her black hair and dark skin she reminded me of you Jake, and I so wished she was yours Jacob. I wished I had tried to be with you and that my baby was yours. Everything would have been so simple if I was with you from the start." Bella admitted. Jake smiled ruefully.
"I wish that too sometimes, but things are what they are. You were broken up over the Cullens leaving and I had my own problems." Jake reasoned. Bella frowned as they both stared out towards the sea.
"The Cullens. My biggest mistake yet, I should think"
"Cant disagree with you there bells, though I'm glad you see it as a mistake now. A year ago you would have killed anyone who suggested such a thing, never mind saying it yourself." Bella smiled wanly. At least he was calling her 'bells' again now.
"I've did a lot of growing up this year." She muttered. Jake looked down at her guiltily.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Bells." he said sorrowfully. Bella shook her head as another tear escaped.
"I pushed you all away Jake. It's my fault that I was alone. Not yours, not Charlie's, not Paul's. I made sure I was isolated from everyone and I don't even know why I did that."
"Maybe… maybe you needed time to get your shit together and forget about the Cullen's without everyone pussy footing around you. Maybe you needed to stand on your own two feet to be able to grow up and move on." Jake suggested, hesitant in case he offended her. Bella nodded.
"Maybe that's right. I don't know Jake. I do know that I need to fix everything I've broken. That's why I came to talk to you. I want to see if I can try and repair my friendships with you and Billy." Jake was silent for a minute and Bella started to worry her lip.
"I understand if you don't want to. I've been the worst kind of person… I understand if…" Jake cut her off with a head shake.
"I want us to be friends again Bella. I want to help you get your life together. I know Billy will forgive you too. He thinks of you as another daughter. He was devastated after what happened with you and Charlie. I'll talk to him for you. As for me and you, I want us to be friends again. I can't promise well be as close as we were before, but I can promise I'll try my hardest to make it so." Jacob stood and held out a hand to hoist Bella to her feet. He gave her a hard hug.
"Where's baby Swan anyway?" he asked puzzled. Bella smiled softly.
"Paul asked to watch her for a little while. I figured I owed him some time with her after cutting him out for all these months." Jake grinned at her.
"Very grown up of you, Bella. You want me to walk you back to the store?"
"No. My truck's here. I'll swing by sometime in the next few days though, if you like. You can meet your namesake properly." She grinned back.
"My namesake…?"
"Her names Charlene Jay. The 'Jay' was in honour of you. I couldn't find a girl version of Jacob so I just borrowed your first syllable." Bella explained. Jake crushed her to him for another hug.
"Thank you Bella. That means the world to me. Come by tomorrow or the next day. I know Billy will be dying to meet her too."
"I will Jake. I love you."
"Love you too Bella. Never stopped and never will stop."
Bella drummed her fingers against the steering wheel nervously, throwing furtive glances at the house she used to call home. It looked exactly the same as when she had left, not even a rose bush out of place.
And of course the same old cruiser in the drive. There could be no doubt that Charlie was home, even if he hadn't peeked out of the curtains and frowned at her only moments ago.
Sure enough, he stomped out of the house and over to her truck. Bella wound the window down resignedly. Charlie glared at her, attempting to pointedly ignore his grandchild, but unable to stop himself from glancing down at her every few seconds. Bella decided to pretend she hadn't noticed.
"H… hi dad" she stuttered. Bella's heart was bouncing along at a mile a minute. She was thankful that baby Charlene was asleep in the car seat. When Bella had picked her up from the store, both baby and daddy were equally content, though Paul wouldn't let her leave until she had promised to come by his house in the morning.
"Dad? So it's 'dad' again now is it? You've been calling me Charlie almost your whole life and now I'm 'dad' again? What have you come here for Bella? Have you find out that life's not as easy as you think? Have you come here for help? Because last I heard I wasn't worth your time!" Charlie ranted, his face flooding a deep scarlet. Bella sucked in a shaky breath.
"I just wanted to talk dad." She murmured, not meeting his eyes. Charlie was silent, glaring at her angrily. She gulped down the sobs that were threatening to erupt "I wanted to try and sort things out between us. I know I've acted like a child, I want to try and fix this."
Charlie snorted disdainfully.
"You chose to move out Bella. You chose this life for yourself. I would have helped you with the baby if the father was too much of a jackass to be involved; all I asked was a name. All I wanted was the name of the guy who helped make that baby." Charlie glanced down at Charlene as he finished speaking, a slightly awed look on his face. When he looked back up the angry scowl was back.
Bella was silent for a moment.
"I'll tell you now." She muttered. Charlie blinked in surprise before scowling again.
"Why would you tell me now? Why now and not then?"
"I don't know. I didn't want anyone to know who he was dad. The amount of rejection I've had last year floored me! I couldn't take the chance that my baby would be rejected. It would have killed me." Bella threw her hands in the air hopelessly. Charlie scrutinised her.
"You've been in contact with him." It wasn't a question, but Bella nodded anyway. "And what happened?" Charlie's features had softened now, his voice more curious than angry.
"He wants to be part of her life. He wants to help." Bella muttered, ashamed yet again of the fact that she had tried to deny both Paul and Charlene the right to be in each other's lives. A new wave of shame ebbed through her as she realised she done the same thing to Charlie. By having this fight with him, by cutting her own dad out of her life, she was taking away Charlie's chance to know his granddaughter. She needed to fix this.
"Do you feel stupid Bella?" Charlie asked. He didn't say it nastily, he asked softly. Bella flinched all the same. She carefully swallowed down any pride that threatened to ruin this.
"I do. I feel so damn stupid for all the crap I've pulled. Not just with the baby but everything dad. I'm so damn sorry for everything I've put you through since I got to forks. I'm just so sorry for everything" Bella had started crying again as she spoke. She marvelled at the fact that she had any tears left to cry. Charlie watched her for a moment before leaning into the window and hugging her. Bella's sobs increased as she cried on his shoulder.
"I'm glad you feel stupid Bella. That you see how childish you've acted means that you're growing up." Charlie murmured to her gruffly as she choked back a fresh wave of sobs.
They stayed like that for about ten minutes before the broke apart.
"You wanna come inside Bella? I'll bet that baby could do with nice warm bottle when she wakes up, and you and I can talk some more." Charlie eyed the baby warmly.
"Yeah, she should be waking up soon." Bella climbed out of the truck carefully before pulling the car seat along with her. Charlie grabbed the baby bag from her and led the way into the house.
Bella had told Charlie everything. She had apologised over and over until Charlie was sick of hearing it. She told him about how her pregnancy went, how she gave birth alone, how she had named her daughter after him. She told him about what had happened with Paul at the store, how Paul had yelled at her until she realised how selfish she had been. She confessed how many times over the last months she had wanted to call Charlie and apologise, but that her stubborn streak and her fear hadn't let her.
Charlie had taken everything in his stride. He was disappointed that the baby was Paul, he'd had trouble with him at the station before for causing fights, but he was glad Paul was going to step up.
Charlie had asked Bella if she wanted to move back in to her old room, baby too of course, but Bella had refused. She needed her own space, even if her apartment was horrible. Charlie had agreed that she probably should stay on her own, but had made her agree to find a better apartment.
"I can't afford a better one dad. If I could I would have already done it." Bella had said as she sipped her coffee. Charlie looked up from where he was cooing and grinning at Charlene on the rug.
"Well I would have thought the answer to that is obvious Bella. I thought you were supposed to be smart. Get a job." Charlie chuckled at her to show he wasn't being mean. Bella's smiled weakly.
"If I got a job I would have to pay for childcare for Charlene and then there would be no point in working in the first place because childcare would take the whole pay check of any job I could do." She pointed out. Charlie looked back down at his granddaughter.
"You don't need childcare, you have me, and from what you've told me you have Paul too and probably Billy and Jake. I'm sure between us we could watch her while you take up a part time job. No one wants you living in those sleazy apartments Bella. Please, do it for me?"
Bella hadn't been able to refuse that. She would do almost anything if it made her dad happy again. As she let herself into her apartment that night she realised he was right too. She couldn't keep living here; the damp alone was ridiculously dangerous to both of their health. She would work on that tomorrow though, tonight she was going to call her mom and then go to sleep. Maybe she would sleep peacefully now that she had sorted out so many of her failures.
She could sort the rest of her life out in the morning, because suddenly the world didn't look so unkind when she had her friends and her daddy back to help her. Even her beautiful baby girl was gurgling peacefully. Her phone pinged with a text. It was from Paul.
Looking 4wrd to seeing u both 2morow, paul xx
Bella smiled properly for the first time since in months. She leaned into the car seat where Charlene was still laid.
"You just watch baby girl. We're going to be fine."
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