Okay, so it took me all of one episode – pretty much one scene – to start shipping Peralta and Santiago in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. This is just a silly little scene that popped into my head watching ep 1x13 – so spoilers for that and for the film 'A Walk to Remember', which they parody in that episode.

Goes without saying I own nothing and make no profit from this – just for fun!

The Payoff

Amy Santiago realised she was in love with Jake Peralta on the 24th January, 2015.

The 23rd had been a completely crappy day followed by an even crappier night – she'd spent five hours staking out a warehouse in the freezing cold before slipping on a patch of black ice while pursuing a perp. She didn't hurt herself – luckily there was a nice big snow drift to break her fall… unfortunately the drift was covering a rather large pile of garbage.

Anyway, they caught the guy so the stakeout was, technically, a success – even if she was frozen, sore, and smelt of rotten fish. She got home at two in the morning, had a long shower to scrub the day away, sent Jake a quick text and collapsed into bed.

He showed up late the next morning with coffee, croissants and his box set of Scrubs. Amy could hardly believe how happy she was to see him – the feeling hit her like a hammer and she realised then and there that somewhere along the way she'd fallen in love with the goofy slob.

It probably shouldn't have been that surprising to her – they had been dating for nearly four months, and it was going better than she would have ever imagined. When she'd first started to acknowledge her non-platonic feelings for Jake, way back around the time of their non-date, she'd always assumed that if they ever did start dating, they would be one of those on-again-off-again couples who spent most of their time fighting or having make-up sex. And though they did fight and though they did have a lot of sex, there had been no off at all – somehow it just worked.

Their fights were more like bickering than big blow-outs – he still teased her, constantly, but she gave as good as she got and sparring with Jake was one of her favourite things about their relationship. He got how important her job was to her because he was the exact same way; he was protective without being overbearing because he knew her abilities and trusted her to take care of herself – if anything she was probably the protective one of the two of them; she could get him to do pretty much anything by pouting at him… unfortunately his puppy dog eyes had the same power over her; he'd taken care of her when she was sick a month after they'd started dating and only held it over her once; he'd managed to win over her brothers without even trying (a first for one of her boyfriends)… and most importantly he just made her feel special. His eyes lit up whenever he saw her and he'd give her this slow smile which just made her heart beat double-speed. She loved it – she loved him.

And she was going to tell him. None of that I-don't-want-to-say-it-first crap for her; she was a strong, modern woman. She didn't even mind if he didn't say it back, she just wanted him to know.

So, two episodes into their Scrubs marathon, Amy poked Jake in the shoulder to get his attention (he was always very intent when watching Scrubs).

"Hmmm?"

Amy rolled her eyes and poked him again. "Jake," she said, shifting to sit up a little. Jake was stretched out on her couch and she had been lying next to him, half-sprawled across his chest. He dragged his eyes away from the screen and looked at her properly. She gave him a small smile, which he returned without hesitation. And that smile was enough to give her the last bit of courage she needed.

"I love you."

In the second or so that it took for Jake's smile to fade and for him to completely freeze, Amy realised that actually she was absolutely definitely not okay with him not saying it back.

Shit.

Jake was only frozen for a moment or two, and then he started to sit up, very slowly, never taking his eyes off her face. Just as Amy was considering claiming she was joking and trying to laugh the whole thing off as a prank, he smiled again – a very small, oddly intent smile, but a smile nonetheless – and reached out a hand to cup her cheek.

She let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, and smiled back.

"Oh Amy," he said softly. "I told you not to fall in love with me." His smile turned into a slight frown and Amy realised that it was… pity.

"I…" she started, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say. He – yes he'd said that but it was a stupid joke when they had their stupid 'date' – he'd been joking – unless, oh god, what if he was dying of something, like Mandy Moore was in the movie? No, he couldn't be, she would have noticed if he was sick. Right? She would have noticed. So he was just… he just didn't feel that way, and he never expected them to go anywhere and she was an idiot. An idiot for actually falling for him when it didn't mean anything to him.

His mouth started twitching. Then his shoulders started shaking. His hand dropped down and he started laughing. Really, really hard.

Amy's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she realised what was going on. He was… he was messing with her. She had said 'I love you', and he was yanking her god damn chain!

"Oh my god you ASSHOLE!" She yelled, punching the seat cushion next to her.

Jake was lying back again now, laughing so hard there were literally tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he managed to gasp out, "I love you too, I just – ow" – that was in response to Amy punching his leg this time – "– I've been waiting like a year to use that…"

Amy grabbed one of the cushions and started beating him in the chest with it, punctuating her words with a hit each time. "YOU. LITTLE. PIECE. OF –"

Jake struggled back into a sitting position, still laughing, and grabbed her wrists. She dropped the cushion and narrowed her eyes into a glare that should send him scuttling on all fours out of her door.

Instead he just grinned at her.

"Seriously," he said, still chuckling, "I wanted to say 'I love you' about a month ago and I couldn't because I needed you to say it first, just so I could use that line." He grinned again, looking unbearably smug. "I laid the groundwork a year ago, I couldn't just let the opportunity go by. I needed that payoff."

"I want to break up," said Amy.

His grin just got wider. "No you don't."

"I hate you."

"No, you love me."

"I lied."

"Well I didn't," Jake said. He loosened his grip on her wrists so he could slide his hands up and link their fingers together. "I love you, Amy."

And there were the puppy dog eyes. Ugh.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, we can stay together," she said. "But you are not a nice person."

"I know, I'm really not."

"And I'm going to make you pay for that."

"I'm sure you will."

He leant forward and kissed her so sweetly her head kind of swam and her fingers tightened around his. And when he pulled away he lay back down and gave her that slow smile that always made her heart beat faster. He tugged on their joint hands and she settled back down as well, and he let go to drape his arms around her waist. She kissed him again before laying her head down on his chest, tucked under his chin.

"I love you, jerk."

"Jake."

"I know what I meant."

"I love you, too."

THE END