He grips the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white from the force of his anger, willing himself NOT to damage the ultra sheer custom leather of the steering wheel to his baby blue '65 mustang.

Breathe. He tells himself.

A vibrating in his jacket pocket startles him.

shit. fuck. crap. Hadn't he had the sense to turn it off?

The vibration in his pocket ceases after a few seconds.

Good. Damon thinks to himself. At least now he didn't have to feel bad for not answering. Didn't have to feel bad for not getting into another round of 'St. Stephan can do no wrong, "Oh Damon, what am I going to do? Here let me lean on your shoulder, while I take comfort in your arms, getting your hopes up for something that will never happen," he seethes silently in his mind. Nope. Wasn't going to feel sorry for that, not one bit.

His pocket vibrates.

Shit! Fuck! Crap! He punches his fist on the dash, groaning when he hears the dashboard give slightly.

The vibrating in his pocket renews.

Just. Fucking. Great.

Damon closes his eyes, momentarily cursing the universe for birthing the man that had ever invented cell phones. Steeling himself, he reaches into his pocket only momentarily registering the name he already knows will be flashing across the screen. With his best bravado voice in place he presses the talk button on his mobile.

"Hey Elena, what's up?" the drawl of his tone imitating a calm and indifference he surely doesn't feel at this moment.

"H..Hi.. Damon," her voice is soft and tentative on the other end. Damon can't help the smirk that plays across his face. He knows Elena is testing the waters, checking to see what impact her latest refusal of his love was having on him but he was so not in the mood to be her little whipping boy.

"Miss me already princess?" he smirks into the phone unable to suppress the tiny bit of enjoyment he gets when he hears an annoyed puff of air on the other end. He knows she hates it when he calls her that, which only makes him want to adopt it as her new name just so he can enjoy her continued blushes and feigned annoyance at him. But their recent conversation still hangs heavy in the air between them and he lets out his own soft breath knowing that it's not her fault after all, that he's in love with a woman who couldn't or wouldn't return his feelings…again!

"Elena?" he asks when she doesn't respond right away. Odd that she would forgo lecturing him on his attitude...

"You didn't answer…before," she replies, ignoring his words. Interesting tactic.

"Ya well I was peckish. I got some takeout before I hit the road." Some 5'6" blonde and easy on the eyes kind of take out, but he wisely leaves that part out as he steady's his hands on the wheel while cradling the phone to his ear, his super vampire reflexes making it easy to navigate the dark highway while still mostly focused on the soft voice at the other end.

"Oh." Was that surprise in her voice? Possibly apprehension? Did she think she had sent him over the edge into a vengeful murderous killing spree?

"Don't worry Elena, I didn't hurt anyone if that's what you're worried about," he states, a touch of annoyance entering his voice. Gods, after everything they'd been through, didn't she know him better then that?

"No..of course not," she stammers, confidence slowly creeping back into her voice. "I wouldn't think that of you Damon. I know you better then that..." her voice trails off at the end as if she wants to say more but she holds herself back.

"Well, good." Quirking a surprised eyebrow at the phone he asks, "Anything else I can do you for?" Gods it was so hard to be aloof and distant with her but he knows it's what she wants and it's what he's going to have to give her, even if it breaks him in the process. He knows he can do no less for her and one day he hopes she will understand. Understand why he can't be there with her right now, being her 'friend'. Sure they had gotten closer in their search for his off-the-wagon ripper brother and he had felt like whatever was between them was suddenly taking on a life of its own and he knew she could feel it too. He knew it was what was driving her through all her irrational and sometimes juvenile behavior. But Stephen was back and on the bunny diet again and Elena had a house full of friends to turn too when she needed it and they would just have to do in the interim of his absence.

"I guess not.. I mean, I just wanted to tell you Damon.. that, um," she can barely believe how hard it is to talk to him. She knows he's not going to be gone for long, he had said something about needing to take care of some business and that he wasn't quite sure how long it would take but that he'd back as soon as he could. Still, the idea of knowing that she won't be able to see him when she wants too, to know that he won't be there if she needs him makes her feel all.. sick and panicky inside. She struggles to get her brain to form the words that her mouth seems incapable of speaking. The words that seem to stick in her heart and choke the air from her lungs. In the end she settles for a partial truth.

"I'll miss you, Damon." There, she said it. Now if only she can see his face. If only she can touch him, just once more to hold the memory of him a little longer.

He can feel the ache in her voice. It matches his own. He knows she cares for him. Knows that what she feels for him scares her to death and more then that, he knows that it should because he WAS death and nothing good ever happens to death. He runs a hand through his hair knowing that his iron-clad charade of amicable indifference is just too heavy to wear anymore. He needs a break. The idea of constantly throwing his heart under a bus for her to trample on, especially when she has no idea what she really wants from her life or from herself, never mind him, was just not on his list of fun time ideas.

And that's when he had decided to leave for New Orleans and some much needed, 'Damon time'. Of course, the other reason for his hasty departure is a much harder pill to swallow... Elena Gilbert wasn't ready for him. She wasn't ready to be the woman that he needed her to be, as much as he wasn't the boy she needed right now. Hence why she was still so hung up on his younger brother he had to annoyingly concede. She was young and infatuated with the idea of 'first true love' romances. But he also knows that their connection is strong, there's no denying it try as Elena might, but that's because she has yet to realize that love, REAL love, was never like they wrote about in those romance books. REAL love consumed you, endangered you and risked everything you were weather you knew it or not. Weather you were ready or not.

Sigh. Here he was a 160 year old Vampire who had been suckling at the teet of life for over a century, pining away after an 18 year old wisp of a girl. He was so not winning any manly awards.

"I'll miss you too, Elena," his voice barely above a whisper as he clicks off, tossing the mobile onto the empty passenger seat next to him. Rolling down the window he lets the cool night air inside allowing it to cool his heated skin. Flooring the gas, the mustang takes off with a burst of speed down the dark highway. Damon clutches tightly to the steering wheel as he races at incredible speeds, the wind catching his tears and blowing them away before they even have a chance to fall.

Later on he would find himself wondering, if he had known what was waiting for him after he hung up the phone, would he have been in such a hurry to get there?