Friend Nor Foe
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
Ezra watched a hooded figure cross the street from his car as his mind went into red alert. A had spotted the girls and was headed towards them. Ezra grew worried when an object in A's hand caught the light of a streetlamp. A had a gun and was headed straight towards the girls. Ezra watched as A shot out the window, the shot followed by startled shouts from the girls.
Ezra leaped from his car and faintly heard Spencer scream "fire escape." He ran to the back of the building and busted open a door. Immediately, he spotted a stairwell and raced up them, taking two stairs at a time. Finally, he reached another door labeled Rooftop Entrance. He held his breath and opened the door.
He took a step before hearing Aria call his name bewilderedly. He was about to rush over and explain everything to the girls, but was interrupted by another door opening. Ezra saw A come out from the shadows and yelled, "Hey! Hey!" waving his arms to distract the attention from the girls, "I know who you are! And the police are on their way!"
A shot at Ezra, causing Ezra to duck. Before A could shoot the girls, specifically Aria, Ezra lunged at A and struggled to get the gun away from the monster. Ezra hit A and held the masked perpetrator's arm forcefully. Ezra heard Emily scream his name before the gun went off again, hitting him straight in the gut. But Ezra fought on; he had to get the gun out of A's hand, no matter what cost. Ezra shoved A off and followed the action with a sharp punch to the jaw.
A reeled back and fell to the ground, gun flying out of shim's hand. Ezra watched as Hanna grabbed it and stepped before A, each girls screaming demands. The pain in Ezra's torso got to be too much, though, and he turned to face the New York skyline. Ezra faintly heard all the girls scream "No!" but he was losing consciousness fast. He felt himself growing weak in the knees, and not the way Aria had made him grow weak. No, he was weakening in a harmed sort of way.
His breaths were growing shorter before he heard his name get called from the one person he ever truly loved.
"It's so beautiful," he spoke half-heartedly, before turning to face Aria. His gaze didn't last on her stunning face too long though, as his hand reached to the blood spewing wound in his stomach. As he touched it, his fingers hovered over the sticky blood. Aria screamed out in protest at the sight, before Ezra lost his balance.
Aria rushed towards him as she saw him stumble. She tried to catch him, but was too small to do so. He fell onto his back as each girl ran over to the scene. Aria held him in her arms as tears quickly poured down her cheeks. Not only could he not die because he knew who A was, he couldn't die because she could not lose him. If she lost him to the Grim Reaper, her whole world would be tossed out of a window.
Alison knelt down on his other side as the other friends hovered above them. "Oh my god, Ezra!" she shrieked. Why did Ezra have to be hurt? He had helped her and had just risked his life for all of them. Yeah, he made mistakes, but like herself, Ezra deserved a second chance.
Ezra wheezed for air, but choked out, "I'm sorry." He grasped for Aria and tried to cup her face, but he felt his body growing more and more limp.
Aria's hands covered the wound, trying to stop the bleeding as he stroked her face. She looked back up at him and felt tears fall from her eyes and onto his hand. "Shh…" Ezra gulped one more time before his eyes fluttered and his hand fell from the face he had kissed so many times. "No, no you stay awake, do you hear me?" she yelled, her breaths short and heavy. "No, don't you dare close your eyes!" Ezra tried, but he couldn't help losing consciousness. His eyes fluttered one last time before his eyes closed for good.
Aria whimpered before she felt him let go. "No, please!" she screamed. Please don't let him die. Please don't let this be the last time I talk to him. Please don't let this be the end. She screamed his name and at her friends, at anything, trying to bring him back.
Aria's screams were deafening to the girls. She felt frozen, but it wasn't thanks to the frosty Manhattan air, it was thanks to the limp body she was holding. Aria placed her shaking fingers to his neck and still felt a pulse, but holding his unconscious body, it seemed like he was dead.
"Ezra, please, please wake up," Aria begged. She could hear sirens closing in and remembered that he said he had called the police. She prayed that the siren was from an ambulance, not a police car. She could feel that Ezra was hanging by a thread. She gently shook him, begging him to just wake up. "Please, Ezra," she whimpered, but nothing happened. Aria screamed for help again before fading off into more cries.
Aria knew that he had used her for a book. She knew that he purposely met her, even though Aria had always thought of their meeting as a gift of fate. She knew that he had been acquainted with Alison, despite him telling her that they never knew each other. She knew, as of recently, that Ezra was there the night she was supposed to die. But, most importantly, Aria knew that he had just taken a bullet for her and her friends and risked his life for them. And he had risked his life before for her. He knew he could've gone to prison for being with her, but he stayed with Aria. And after everything the two had been through together, it finally clicked: it might have been based on a lie, but it had evolved into so much more than research. They had stood by each other through thick and thin and had shared such intimate moments that Ezra could not have been able to fake.
She wasn't forgiving him, and she was unsure if she ever could, but she couldn't get the thought of him dying out of her head. She mentally took back the words she said a week ago about him never really loving her, of course he had. Alison had even said it herself, it's no longer about the book. It would take time and Aria knew they could never get back to the way things once were, but she couldn't live on hating him, not after tonight.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone.
How many times did they have to sit through this pain and suffering, patiently waiting on dire information? How many times did they have to watch one of their friends crack and crumble over a loved one's wounded or dead body? They watched each other cry over the cliff Mona fell off of, cradling Spencer on their arms. They later held Emily that same eventful night, restraining her from jumping into the coroner's car, after cops found Maya's cold body. Then it was Hanna, watching Caleb get hauled off by EMT's, bullet resting in his spleen. Not to mention that Caleb had watched Emily sob over a body she had just murdered before getting shot with said bullet. And, even though none of them were there to witness it, they didn't doubt that Spencer cried over Toby's fake body in the woods.
But as heartbreaking as those moments were, it didn't compare to Aria's gut wrenching screams. The shouts and shots still rang in Emily, Spencer, Hanna, and Ali's ears. Somehow, prior to this night, Aria had been immune to the loved ones harmed by A disease, but she now was plagued by it. They all sat now in an unfamiliar hospital, holding Aria's shaky body. She was having panic attack after panic attack, disturbing images engraved on the inside of her eyelids.
This night had held revelations, big revelations, the girls needed to go over immediately. But after the events on the rooftop, that meeting would have to wait. Right now, they needed to comfort Aria, not solve the mystery. They all full on knew what Ezra had done and how he had used her, but after eye opening truths and statements, Aria and her friends had loosened the leash on hatred a bit. Aria just about dropped the entire leash when he attacked A and got hurt in the process. She remembered him stepping onto the roof, the face he made when A pulled the trigger, and the slight smile he had when his eyes closed. He was in surgery now, no visitors allowed. But in a way that helped Aria. She didn't know what to say whenever she saw him next.
It had been about forty minutes since EMTs rushed onto the roof, threw an unconscious, bloody Ezra onto a gurney. Each of the girls had jumped into action after, grabbing a cab after the ambulance; they couldn't find Noel in time. Ali was still with them, not wanting to leave them at such a low point. With Ezra dwindling on a thread, Ali couldn't throw another wrench in, not after tonight. And she wanted to make sure Ezra, and Aria, were okay. Ezra had helped her while she was gone, the least she could do was see if he would wake up.
"How long is the surgery?" Aria asked in a low, harsh whisper. Her voice was raspy and cracked with every syllable. Her voice was almost gone thanks to the screams for help she had hollered for earlier.
"It depends on the damage," Spencer whispered back. "Probably soon though, Aria."
Aria nodded before Emily mumbled, "Maybe we should leave, in case cops come in and question us."
Aria gasped, disgusted. "I'm not leaving!" she yelled through clenched teeth. Her breathing was heavy and she felt herself shake. She swallowed down a lump that was forming in her throat as tears filled her eyes. This night was too much for her to handle and she desperately needed a six hour nap. Aria felt as if she could faint at any second as she started sobbing.
She should hate Ezra and hope he was dead, but she couldn't. He wasn't as bad as she suspected and she couldn't leave him in a different town to possibly die. What if something horribly wrong happened while he was in surgery and she wasn't there for it? No matter how much he hurt her or how many pieces he broke her heart into, she knew she was just about the only person who really cared about him. Maggie seemed to, but then lied and deceived him. His brother and father were AWOL. And Ezra's mom, Aria didn't really expect her to come rushing to her possibly dying son's side. Aria couldn't be the millionth person to leave him, walk out of his life. Especially not now.
Spencer slightly agreed with Emily and laid a caring hand on Aria's arm. "Aria, I know what you're going through, we all do, but if we don't go, things could get worse. Worse for him, worse for Ali… Ezra will be fine for the next few hours, by himself. He's a grown man, he can be by himself."
"But he doesn't have anyone," Aria cried. "He's gonna wake up alone and…"
Alison intervened once she saw Aria breaking down again. She knew the police would come along this path with Ezra's getting shot, but Ali was ready to make a sacrifice for the girls. "Spencer, it's fine. I don't mind staying." Spencer was about to say something else, but Ali gave her a warning look.
Hanna's mind, however, was on something all the girls' minds should be on. That person who shot Ezra and jumped from the rooftop, could not have been Alison's mother. And if she wasn't A, and Ezra wasn't A, who was going to be there new suspect? Hanna's mind kept going to one alibi-less person, but it couldn't be. It just couldn't be.
Aria's mind, however, was complete mush. It was just a blank canvas, waiting to be painted with a potential fight, or potential make up, with the one and only Ezra Fitz. Moments passed before one of them spoke up. Aria cleared her sore throat before whispering, "I can't believe it."
Emily pouted before reassuring, "Aria, he'll be okay."
Aria shook her head as new tears fell. "No, I can't believe that, if he dies, the last thing that I ever said to him will be that I never ever wanted to see him again and never wanted to be with him," Aria wiped her wet cheeks before scoffing sadly, "I guess I got my wish."
Hanna stood up and patted Aria's back. "Aria, no. You know he's gonna be okay. And he knows you didn't mean it."
She let out a shaky sigh and readjusted in the uncomfortable hospital chair and cover her face again. She sobbed more into her hand while Alison grabbed the other one. "He'll be okay, Aria."
Spencer sensed the tension between the two romances of Ezra Fitz and noisily cleared her throat. "I'm gonna, um, go find some coffee." As she got up, Emily and Hanna joined her, leaving Ali and Aria alone.
Ali moved into the seat next to Aria, but kept her hand gripped with Aria's. "Aria, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Aria shook her head as new tears brimmed her eyes. "It's not your fault," Aria mumbled.
"Yes it is!" Ali disagreed. "I ruined your family. I ruined your relationship."
Aria scooted closer to Alison while repeatedly shaking her head. "Ali, you did not ruin me and Ezra's relationship. The only person who did is Ezra, okay?"
A pregnant pause passed before Ali spoke again. "He loves you," Ali assured, before taking a deep breath before a confession. "I've… I've seen him since I disappeared, and he talked about you. He talked about if you ever knew the truth about the book, how heartbroken he would be." Ali paused and wiped a tear off Aria's cheek. "It always," Ali laughed softly, "it always made me a little jealous. He was never like that with me. But, I've watched you two. Ezra makes you so happy. And you do the same for him."
Aria whimpered before choking out, "I'm still so mad, though."
"I know, I know," Ali said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I could've told you everything months ago… I'm so sorry."
Aria shook her head vehemently before gulping. "It's fine. If you had, then I wouldn't have been happy for months, not just weeks. I enjoyed while it lasted."
Ali ever so slightly rolled her eyes. She may have been changed in the last years, but she was Alison. "You know you're not finished with him, right?"
Aria was about to protest and tell Ali that it was most definitely over, but couldn't. Aria knew it wasn't and so did Ezra. Everyone knew, in all honesty. It was never off the table for them. "I know," Aria whispered.
Seconds later, a nurse came around the corner and spotted Aria. "Miss, he's out of surgery, but he's not awake yet. You can go sit with him if you'd like. Room 306."
Aria nodded and looked to Ali. She was about to begrudgingly invite her, but Ali waved her off and mouthed go. Aria obeyed and walked towards his room. As she neared the door, her steps, which seconds ago, were quick and swift, were now scared and heavy. She couldn't talk to him, but she had to. She didn't want to speak with him, but she wanted to. Finally, she reached his door and peeked through the window. The bed was blocked by a curtain so she couldn't see. Aria sighed and knocked almost silently on the door. There was no answer, so she cautiously opened the door, as if a bomb were about to explode. But on the other hand, that could be true.
She stepped into the room, making sure she was being as quiet as a church mouse. If he was sleeping, like she hoped, she would just sit by his side, watch his peaceful face and admire the beauty of silence. As she ventured further into the hospital room, her wishes were granted. Ezra was fast asleep, cloaked in a hospital gown opposed to his normal sweater vests. She grimaced at him in the hospital dress, finding it slightly amusing. The corners of her mouth dropped, though, when she noticed all the machines and monitors he was hooked up to.
Aria let out a deep breath and gulped. She couldn't help but think that, right under where his blue hospital blanket folded, was a painful, sore bullet hole. Aria thought that whenever they were together, intimately, instead of seeing his soft, unmarred skin, her fingers would stroke the scar, the reminder of how much their relationship had crashed and burned.
Woah, wait, Aria thought, sinking into a chair next to his bed. Why on earth was she thinking of being with him in that way? Did she want that? No, she had moved on. But, had she? Why was she thinking of Ezra's body, more specifically, his body writhing on top of hers? He had used her, lied to her, and, prior to tonight, seemingly never loved her.
Aria watched Ezra intently, the man who had introduced her to love, then taught her to hate it. She now hated love so much she had trashed every Nicholas Sparks book she owned, with the notebook of haikus and songs she had written about Ezra.
What a tragic love story, Aria thought. Perfect for us. She thought of how this could easily redeemed him if she let it, and was fairly certain that she would. She sighed and grabbed his hand. She squeezed it and muttered half-heartedly, "Please be okay, babe."
After what seemed like hours, but was really only fifteen minutes, Ezra's eye fluttered open. As his eyes awakened, the rest of his body did too, and Ezra winced at how pained he felt. After a couple of seconds, he remembered everything that had happened and shot up, mumbling, "Aria," before flinching from the pain he felt in his stomach. He had sat up way too fast and felt nauseous. He swallowed down bile and stuttered her name again, in more of a questioned tone.
"Hey, hey, I'm right here," Aria told him, by his side.
Ezra turned, eyes popping out of his head. "You're here?"
Aria attempted to smile, but couldn't muster one up. She settled for a nod and whispered, "Ezra, lay down. You shouldn't be sitting up."
Ezra took her advice and rested his head against the limp hospital bed. "Are you okay?" he asked, creasing his brow.
Aria scoffed, "Yeah, I'm okay. But, I think I should be the one asking you that."
Ezra nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Are your friends… is Alison?"
Aria answered his question. Ezra didn't deserve a lot, but he did deserve an answer to if everyone was okay, especially when he had gone out of his way to protect them. "We're all fine, Ezra. The girls, Ali included, are out in the waiting room. "
"Good, good," Ezra muttered. "Aria, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here? You don't owe me anything. Besides, I thought you never wanted to hear from me. Or see me. Ever," Ezra asked, repeating her harsh words.
Aria's bottom lip trembled as her eyes filled with tears. "Look, I'm not forgiving you, but I still would care if you got killed. Especially if you got killed trying to save me."
"I'd do it again if I had to," Ezra responded. "I'm glad you're here."
Aria looked at the hopeful look on his face and scowled. "I don't forgive you. You broke my heart. Just because I came to make sure you weren't dead, doesn't mean we're getting back together."
"I know. I resigned from Rosewood, I'm looking for apartments here in Manhattan…"
Aria stood up and looked at him, jaw dropped open. "You're actually leaving?"
Ezra sat up a little bit, carefully, before really looking at Aria. She was pacing slightly and her chest was heaving. Ezra couldn't help but notice that her scarf, jacket, and top had blood all over it. "Is that my blood?" he asked, slightly grossed out.
She stopped moving back and forth and covered her outfit with her arms. "Don't change the subject, Ezra! You're really leaving?"
Ezra was at a loss of words. "Aria, that's what you wanted. You told me to leave town. You told me that's what you needed. I put my apartment up for rent, I've got a crappy job in line for me here… you wanted me gone. You. If that's what you need for you to move on-"
"I have moved on!" she snapped. "I've moved on! Ezra, I really, I've moved on."
"Who are you trying to convince?" he asked.
Aria let out a deep, shaky breath. "You can't leave."
Ezra challenged her, "Why?"
"You have to most information on A. You're the only person who might be able to help," Aria explained. "I hate that, but you are. And trust me when I say that I don't want you in Rosewood for me. Don't get your hopes up that I still love you."
Ezra's heart stopped for a second, and they both could tell as his heart monitor started acting up. He had such a hurt look on his face. It was worse now than when he had gotten shot. "Aria, you don't mean that. You don't love me at all?"
Aria stared at him dully. "What does that matter? You never really loved me!"
Ezra tilted his head and shook it. "Aria, I have done nothing but love you since Noel gave us a hard time. I have loved you so much, and I wasn't lying when I said this was the most honest thing in my life. I stopped writing the book after I left Rosewood High, but I kept track of things, trying to solve it."
Aria shook her head. "I don't believe you. I won't ever believe you again."
"Don't say that," he pleaded. "You're angry and you're-"
"Yeah, I'm angry!" she shouted. "You… you used me. You used my friends. You were with Alison. You knew who I was. You sat back and watched A torture me!"
"Aria, I was stupid. I was so, so stupid," Ezra muttered. "But, I promise, I won't ever hurt you again. Please, just, don't leave. Don't walk away from us again."
Aria was astounded by his pleas. Who was he to say those things? "Ezra, the only reason I'm walking away is because you built me a road. You gave me the chance, the opportunity, to hate you."
"You hate me?" he whispered, more hurt than before. He knew he had done some impacting damage. He knew it was going to take a long time to work through this. He knew she would be very cautious if they were ever to start a relationship up again. But, hate… even if she didn't mean it, which Ezra knew she didn't, it was such a strong word. Especially when it came from her mouth to his head.
"Ezra, I can't hate you, you know that," she muttered. "I'm just angry."
"I get it," he assured. "And I'll help your friends and you. I've been helping Ali, I can help you too. If you'll let me."
Aria sat on the bed next to him and cautiously reached for his hand. "Thank you, for tonight. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up… you've done a lot of things that I will never get over, but thank you for saving us."
"I'd do anything to keep you safe, Aria," he smiled. And he meant it. He had spent the last few months of his life trying to bring Alison home, keep Rosewood's favorite clique safe, and make sure no one else got extremely harmed. He had risked his safety for theirs and was glad Aria was appreciating that. He prayed to every god he knew that they could work through this and love again one day, one day soon.
Aria cautiously intertwined her shaky fingers with his and stroked his bruised knuckles. "You know, you really scared us. You scared us all. Even Spencer," Aria laughed softly.
"I'm sorry I scared you," Ezra whispered.
Aria brushed his shaggy bangs out of his face and responded, "I was so scared you were gonna die." Aria broke down into sobs before adding. "You were bleeding so much, Ezra. I thought you were going to die in my arms. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. If you died," Aria whimpered, fading off.
Before Aria could say anything else, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She looked up at him as her lip trembled. Ezra garnered up as much strength as he could and wiped her wet, mascara stained cheeks. "I'm right here, you didn't lose me. I'll always be right here, Aria."
Aria swallowed down the lump in her throat and held his hand to her face. "Promise?"
Ezra nodded, "I promise." Aria sighed and moved their hands away from her face. She bent down and placed a simple kiss to his forehead. When she pulled away, Ezra was smiling wider than she had ever seen before. She grinned back before saying, "Get some sleep."
"Will you lay with me?" Ezra plead, raising an eyebrow at Aria.
Aria pursed her lips, but, against her better judgment, nodded slightly and adjusted herself on the bed with him, minding his chords and torso. Ezra, once she was situated, reached for her hand, before laying his head down.
She clutched his hand back and smiled a little. It had been a long time since she curled up next to the man she loved so much and relished in the moment. Hours ago, she had thought she could never do this with Ezra again, but she still could and a part of Aria hoped she could lay with him forever.
I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.