Rivendell Detectives – The Case of The Mutant Tortoise
By Windy McDohl
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the Great Sir Mr. J.R.R. Tolkien. I write the fanfiction. (^^;)
Note: Not slash, no harm intended. A bit on the AU side, 'cause Elladan, Elrohir, Arwen and Aragorn (Estel) are children of the same age and Legolas is their cousin. Estel is a half-elf here. And OOC is evident, the characters being a little mad. Some kiddy fun, but you should also RACK your brains to solve the mystery! I'd like to give a prize, but I'm no good at art and prizes, so this is for fun! Please have a nice time!
Item: Guess who killed Mr. Bubble-Beam!
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It was a sunny day in the valley. The sound of children rushing around and squealing with joy in the summer sun and the splashing of water echoed in the dell of Imladris, soothing the mind and thoughts of the two ancient elf-lords standing by a large balcony overlooking the river.
"I do hope that they would like what I've gotten them," Elrond furrowed his dark brows. "I could not think of anything better to give them for a plaything. It would be fine for them to cultivate a sense of responsibility and – oh, where was I? Anyway, how would you like to see it, Glorfindel?"
Glorfindel grinned. Though Elrond often denied it, nearly everyone knew how he pampered the children rotten. He seldom got very angry with them, and they in turn, treated him with respect. They did not fear his anger; rather, they feared his sadness. Glorfindel shook his golden head and smiled. Ah, he didn't know whether it was for the better or worse!
Elrond beckoned his comrade to follow him. They walked to a small clearing below in the valley, and Elrond stopped, staring at a particularly large mushroom. An ugly mushroom, at that, Glorfindel thought. Solemnly he peered at it, and then looked at Elrond, confused.
"Uh… nice… mushroom," Glorfindel said weakly. "I'll bet the children, will, uh… be fascinated."
"Oh, Glorfindel, don't be such a ninny!" Elrond exclaimed. He stalked over to the 'mushroom' and, to the flaxen haired elf's enormous surprise, started to tickle it. Why, Elrond had to be mad! Or was that a magic mushroom?
As Glorfindel stared on, a very peculiar sight greeted him. Out of one of the holes in the 'mushroom' came a long stalk-like object. The end of it was rather like a bulge, with two… two beady eyes!
"Goodness gracious me! What in Middle-Earth is that?" Glorfindel backed away quickly. "That's the ugliest creature I have ever seen!"
Elrond looked hurt. "I think that it's pretty cute," he managed stiffly. "I bought it from a peddler, its former owner. He says that it would make a good, loyal, obedient pet and I do believe that he is right!"
"Well, I suppose you're right," Glorfindel sighed. "What would the children think of it?"
The children crowded around the creature eagerly, giggling at the thought of having a new pet. Legolas, who lived far away, was especially happy as his parents never let him keep any pets, and he was often alone then, till he came to Rivendell for visits. His cousins treated him well, and now that his home was quite dangerous to live in, he was sent here to live with his cousins till all was safe in his home.
"What is it?" Elrohir asked, poking the creature timidly on its hard shell.
"It's a tortoise," Elrond explained patiently. "A slow moving creature, very gentle and quite old. He likes lettuce, and if you could but spare him a few strawberries now and then, he would be glad."
"What's his name?" Estel inquired, tugging lightly on his foster father's sleeve. "Did you give him a name?"
"Well, no, not yet," Elrond smiled. "Why don't all of you think of a name for him?" The children cheered. Trust Elrond to have given them the opportunity to do things their own way!
"We could call him Daisy," Arwen suggested. "Or Primrose. Or maybe even Pimpernel! How does that sound?"
"Girly," Elrohir stuck his tongue out at his sister. Arwen frowned and punched him. He ducked, and made his way behind Elladan. "We should call him Mechabot Ultra! Or Tortoimous Prime!"
"Sounds barbaric," Arwen cut her brother rudely. Elladan shook his head. "We should call him Breezy. Or Windy," he said simply. He didn't mind how simple the name sounded, as long as it was natural and easy to remember!
"I'll opt for Tortilla," Estel jigged excitedly. "Apricot Jam or Marmalade Candy!" His siblings laughed. Estel did love food, but strangely enough, he never grew fat. He just grew bigger and muscular, having lost his baby fat very rapidly, as well as looking older than his eldest brother.
"What about you, Legolas?" Elladan asked his cousin. "What would you name him?"
Legolas shrugged sadly. "I've never kept pets before, and I don't have a nice name for him…" he heaved silently. Estel felt sorry for him and patted his head kindly.
"Well, just try, anything! We shan't laugh!" he urged his shy cousin. Legolas stared at his cousins' faces, and dropped his gaze again.
"Well…"
"Go on…" Estel squeezed his cousin's arm encouragingly. Legolas flushed. People treated him like a baby!
"I think I'd like to call him Mr. Bubble-Beam," Legolas said hurriedly. "It's rather silly but –"
"Mr. Bubble-Beam it shall be," Elladan said in finality. He looked at his siblings. "Well?" he asked menacingly, narrowing his gray eyes to slits. Arwen and Elrohir nodded in unison, not wanting to face their eldest brother's wrath. Estel nodded and grinned cheerfully.
"Fine with me," he declared. "I was worried that I should start feeling hungry each time I called his name…"
His siblings laughed, and Elrond chuckled. He was very proud of his children's maturity, as well as Legolas' shyness slipping away, enabling him to make decisions of his own. He nodded kindheartedly at them. "Well, I do suppose you'd know how to look after a tortoise and make him feel at home. Mr. Bubble-Beam eats lettuces and sometimes vegetables, and he does like a good bath once in a while. Please keep him away from the flowerbeds, especially Haldir's. He's studying plants and learning to cultivate them, so please try not to inconvenience him, children."
The children nodded, drinking in the half-elf's words. Elrond nodded again, satisfied. "Let's return, shall we? I've got Apple Candy in the jar, and there's also strawberry sorbets ready to be served!"
"BYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAY!" Estel cheered, and he tailed his foster father home. The others followed suit, with Legolas secretly happy that his name had been accepted…
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The days went by well enough, pleasantly and brightly for the children. They enjoyed themselves tremendously, and grew rather fond or Mr. Bubble-Beam. Now, Mr. Bubble-Beam was a good old tortoise; he did everything that was expected of him, such as coming out of his shell for the children to stroke his neck, eating fresh lettuces provided for him as well as the juicy strawberries the children personally hand-fed him with. In short, he made a very good pet, but…
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"What happened?" The elves rushed to the scene, expecting an ambush of some sort. Haldir stood clenching his fists and gritting his teeth in what seemed like boiling rage. His face was reddened by his anger and he was sweating profusely.
"That THING! That thing ATE MY FLOWERS!" Haldir's voice pitched into a scream. "My flowers! My hard work! ALL GONE, GONE INTO THE STOMACH OF THAT T-H-I-N-G! That horrendous, awful, atrocious, brainless twerp of a little pest, that… that…"
"What's going on here?" Elrond elbowed his way to the scene. Haldir's angry voice died away in horror. He certainly could not disapprove of Elrond's pet! Elrond tilted his head and stared at Haldir patiently. "Yes, go on. I'm listening."
"Err, well, uh…" Haldir began nervously, scratching his head slightly. "My plants have been destroyed. By uh, the tortoise, my Lord. He ate them. Look at these large bites!"
"Hmmm," Elrond observed the damaged plants. He turned to the children. "Children, was Mr. Bubble-Beam with you then?"
"No, father," Elladan replied straightforwardly. He hated lying, or beating around bushes. Elladan was a frank little elf, very responsible and dependable. Elrond trusted his eldest son nearly more than all his other children. He nodded and then turned to Haldir, gesturing to Elladan to ask for forgiveness.
"I'm sorry for all the trouble we have caused," Elladan apologized. He was very sincere, that Haldir felt that he hadn't any other option but to forgive the children, and the tortoise. "We would like to help you grow back whatever had been eaten or damaged."
Haldir shook his head and shrugged. "Well, that's okay. You don't have to, but please just keep him away from my beds. Tie him up or something."
"Yes," Elladan said. "I think we should put him in the other side of the garden. What do you think?" he asked his siblings. They nodded in unison, being quite afraid of the Lórien Elf. Elrond smiled and nodded at them. "Well, it's settled. Let us go back to our business. Haldir, would you like me to at least compensate your loss?"
"No, my Lord," Haldir replied. "I shall do it on my own."
The elves left for their own ways, and the days went on again.
"It seems to me like a new pest is come," Glorfindel sighed, looking at his damaged rose plants. "These vermin! How do I get rid of them?"
Glorfindel was sitting by his garden patch with a Ranger, discussing the day's events and enjoying the cool evening breeze. His roses had been attacked by some pests, which he believed were either caterpillars or locusts. The Ranger stroked his chin thoughtfully before answering Glorfindel.
"I do know of a method," he said. "I've heard of some product some people in Bree call "pesticide". Apparently, it keeps pests away by killing them. The plants survive well enough."
"I should like some of that," Glorfindel replied quickly. "I should like to try it out!"
"Very well then," the Ranger responded. "I'll try to get you some."
"Thank you," Glorfindel smiled gratefully. "I'll look forward to seeing it."
Haldir was practically hopping mad this time. Again that nuisance had destroyed his plants! He furrowed his brows and walked to Elrond's chamber. "I'm so going to eradicate that tortoise," he muttered under his breath as he made his way to Elrond's room.
"My Lord!" Haldir swung the door open hard. He stopped in surprise when he saw the children present there, with Lady Celebrian. Elrond goggled at the Lórien elf. He had never seen anyone so angry before!
"I'm going to leave for Lórien tomorrow! I shan't stay here another day! My plants have been continuously destroyed, and I do believe that the culprit is the same one as before!" Haldir ran his words smoothly. "Thank you for your hospitality in housing me all this while, my Lord. But do know that I cannot bear to stay another day!"
"We know, Haldir," Elrond sighed. "I wish you good health wherever you may go. Please, do take a rest before your departure. Oh, and here's Ithilas to help you pack your bags."
"Thank you," Haldir replied, smiling blandly. "Goodbye."
He slammed the door shut behind him, Ithilas tailing after him. The children stared after the enraged Lórien elf.
"He seemed rather annoyed," Legolas commented, frightened. "I wonder what he will do to Mr. Bubble-Beam?"
"He might kill him," Elrohir piped. Elladan nudged his twin in the ribs. "He won't," Elladan was sure of it. "Haldir may be cold and fierce, but he wouldn't harm a fly. He'll be fine, I promise."
Just then, Glorfindel stepped in, a puzzled look on his face. Elrond stood up to offer him a seat.
"What's wrong, Glorfindel?" he asked kindly. Glorfindel frowned.
"It's odd," he said. "Even Elendir thought that it was strange. You see; I bought something the men call 'pesticide' to keep my plants alive and healthy. It was supposed to keep pests away by killing them. But strangely enough, my plants are still nibbled!"
"Must be a big caterpillar indeed," Elrond remarked. The children excused themselves, wanting to go and play in the sun. Elrond called after them. "Oh, children! If you do see a large caterpillar in Glorfindel's garden, do try to catch it!"
"We will!" Elrohir and Estel shouted back eagerly. "We'll hunt it down and skewer it on a stick for you!" and with that, the two children vanished in a cloud of dust. The rest followed suit.
Two hours passed, and they still found nothing. Estel and Elrohir were tired and crestfallen. They walked back to their own patch and met up with the others.
"Well?" Arwen asked them. Legolas stared at them in fascinated excitement. Estel shrugged sadly.
"No will do," he said. "We didn't see anything."
"Oh, here's Mr. Bubble-Beam," Elladan pointed at him. "Hey, he seems funny!"
"What?"
Indeed, Mr. Bubble-Beam was certainly acting strangely. He looked a little different… He was grinning maniacally at them! The children screamed and ran in opposite directions. Mr. Bubble-Beam wobbled unsteadily towards them, the scary, maniacal grins still on his face when, suddenly –
He fell down on his shell with his legs sticking in the air!
Mr. Bubble-Beam was DEAD!
"AH! ELBERETH! Mr. Bubble-Beam's dead!" Legolas cried. The children followed his gaze and peered at the late Mr. Bubble-Beam. Elladan stepped up and shook his head sadly.
"He's gone."
"It's Haldir! I tell you it was Haldir!" Arwen cried. "He looked so angry, he would have killed Mr. Bubble-Beam!"
"Yeah!" the other children agreed unanimously. Elladan shook his head again.
"Now, let's not jump to conclusions on who killed… or murdered Mr. Bubble-Beam," he said simply. "We need some evidence. But first, let's bury Mr. Bubble-Beam."
A solemn funeral took place in the garden that day. The children were sad to see him go, and they sang final requiems to the late tortoise. Elrond and Celebrian watched helplessly, not knowing what to say to comfort the children. Glorfindel silently shed a tear or two. He had also grown fond of the tortoise, although they hardly met.
But now we are all faced with one question:
WHO KILLED MR. BUBBLE-BEAM?
The Answer:
Glorfindel killed Mr. Bubble-Beam, but it was unintentional. Haldir couldn't have killed Mr. Bubble-Beam, as he was packing up to leave for Lórien the next day. Besides, Ithilas was there to supervise and help him. If Haldir had wanted to kill Mr. Bubble-Beam, he would have to do it when Ithilas had left, but Mr. Bubble-beam died only two hours later, meaning that Ithilas couldn't have left yet. Even if Ithilas had already left, how much time was there actually left for Haldir, in those two hours, to plan Mr. Bubble-Beam's murder?
Glorfindel 'killed' the tortoise with pesticide. Naturally he didn't mean it. Here's the evidence: Glorfindel had used pesticide to destroy a pest, which he believed was a caterpillar. Elrond had also asked for the caterpillar to be caught, but it had never been found. That proves that Mr. Bubble-Beam had eaten Glorfindel's plants, and in the process became mutated and died.
Glorfindel was forgiven and the children got a new pet – a parrot.