Frying-Pan

Phage McDougall was horrified. Why was he in such a state you might ask? One word would describe the cause of his distress. This word actually is a compound word, so technically it is two words, they are just shoved together: frying-pan. Phage had no time to run as his beloved mate thudded him over and over again with the heavy cooking aid. In pain he had clutched his cranium in his hands, but then realized this was a bad idea when his fingers were almost broken under Jack 'Mrs.' McDougall's frying-pan wrath. Apologizing tears poured out of his eyes, and he suddenly had a great desire to fetch some divorce papers. How had his sweet shy boyfriend turned into this!

Finally hearing his sobs of excruciating pain, Jack stopped. The brunette dropped his frying-pan (thankfully not on his husband's head) and dropped onto his knees in front of Phage. The redhead looked up frightened at his mate, as though he was sure that he was about to be hit again.

"Jaaaack! Look what you've done to me! We could have been a poster for domestic violence a couple of minutes ago." Phage rubbed his head, he was sure that he had a concussion or would have one very soon.

"I'm so sorry Phage. It's just; you know how much I hate it when you put empty ketchup bottles in the fridge!" Jack exclaimed.

Phage looked at his husband with disbelieving eyes, "You were repeatedly beating me with a frying pan because I put an empty ketchup bottle in the fridge!"

This was soon followed by 'What the HELL?'

"I know, I overreacted, I've been acting weird lately. It's like I can't control the moods I'm in or something. That and the throwing up every morning for the past two weeks and any normal person would think I'm pregnant!" Jack laughed hysterically.

Phage looked at his now insanely laughing partner, "Yeah that would be weird."

"See! Isn't it terrible?" Jack burst into loud sobs, tears streaming down his face.

Phage watched Jack turn from hysterical laughter, to heart-wrenching sobs, to frightening frying-pan wielding anger, to surprised and confused intrigue. He most certainly tasted the rainbow of moods that was for sure.

Suddenly Jack's mood changing stopped, and so did Phage's terror at the sound of snickering coming from under the kitchen table. They're heads turned to see three mischievous looking harvest sprites.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing…" Nick lied.

"No you didn't, you did something to Jack! What was it?"

"We spiked your honeymoon wine!" Flack blurted.

"You did what!"

"Yeah, Jack's probably pregnant by now!"

"I'm what!"

"Pregnant, it's not that difficult of a concept, really."

Three minutes later, Nick, Flack, and Nack also grew to fear frying-pans.

Fin…