Crawl Inside
She doesn't know why she ends up at Finn's house Friday evening after that shit week. Usually, when she's this pissed, she tracks down Puck and fucks it out of her system, but the boy hasn't been "giving it his all" lately, making moon-calf eyes at Quinn fucking Fabray. Just another thing the bitch took, because somehow Quinn always gets what she wants - the baby just a bump in the road once she stopped being a bump on her stomach.
Santana just doesn't get how it always ends up like this. Quinn is just as big a bitch as she is; sometimes even more so. At least Santana doesn't lie about who she is. "Look at me," Quinn'll say. "I'm so innocent that I spread my legs for my boyfriend's best friend. Then I lied and lied and had the nerve to cry when it all fell down. Now, it's over, and I don't cry anymore, because it didn't happen. Would you look at that! My hymen's back. Wonder how long that will last."
Fuck that. Fuck her. Why the fuck did Santana think that Quinn wouldn't use her boob job against her? She should've known better. People don't change. They just become more and more what they really are.
Santana knows that she isn't a nice girl. And she knows a secret of Finn's; one even he doesn't know.
He isn't a nice boy.
She knocks on the door.
When he opens the door there's that confused look that seems perpetually imprinted on his face. Boy can't comprehend that the world is spinning; can't read the movement and the flow of life, just lost in the current.
She wants to tell him not to bother trying, he'll just make himself dizzy.
Instead, she sashay's into his house, reminding herself to smile. Boy'll run scared if she lets on what she's really feeling. In this moment, she feels decades older than him, not days. Finn should know better than to open his door to strangers.
You never know what they'll do, after all.
"Your mom home?" Causal, like she doesn't care. She studying her nails, she really doesn't think he can bear one more moment of his stupid face.
"No…" Finn says slowly, "did you, like, need her or something?" He pauses. "Actually, I don't think you've even met my mom."
Thank fuck for that, Santana thinks, like I need more Hudsons in my life.
She finally meets his eyes, slowly slinking toward him, murmuring, "are we alone, Finn? No one here, no where to get to? It's Friday night, Finn, why are you home alone?"
He's frowning at her. "Why are you here, Santana?"
She hides a wince. Sue's blacklisted her; no one will want to be caught talking to her, much less inviting her to their party. Sue always seems to find out when her Cheerios step out of line. And if she doesn't figure it out herself, Quinn is right there in a pinch to fill her in, isn't she?
If she'd felt guilty about slipping to Jewfro the previous year that Quinn was knocked up, she most fucking certainly didn't now. She lays a hand on Finn's arm. You may have gotten head cheerleader back, but I'll make sure you don't get him. Quinn'll just have to content herself with the boy she's called loser. Santana? 'S fucking done with him.
Rachel won't ever know how much she owes Santana. Finn will make sure of that.
"You know why, Finn." He looks blank. "We're in the same boat, fucking booted to the bottom." She bites her lip, looks at him sideways, as if vulnerable about letting her guard down.
Her guard is never down.
"I just thought we could both use a friend right now. We're both outcasts now."
"You're still on the Cheerios."
"Yeah, in name only. I'm at the bottom of the pyramid now, Finn. No one will dare be seen with me. And why? Because I wanted people to look at me, I wanted to be popular. I didn't want to be just another glee loser." (There's a certain advantage to eavesdropping at doorways.) "Now I'm nobody."
"No, you're not! Santana, you're, like, the toughest girl I know. And you can sing and dance better than most of us."
She hides her victorious smile, instead looking at him solemnly. "Not as good as Rachel Berry, though, right?"
Finn looks distinctly uncomfortable. "Um…"
She waves a hand flippantly, "It's okay, no one is as good as Rachel, right? She's really going places. Fuck, someday she's going to be leaving all of us in her dust. Should start calling the girl Broadway." She smirks at him. "Us Lima Losers, we can't keep up with her. I bet you she won't know any of our names in five years."
He looks a little horrified, like any time and place beyond high school just hadn't occurred to him. It probably hadn't. High school is the boy's fucking life, but there isn't much waiting for him after that, was there?
This is too easy.
"Rachel's not like that! She wants us all to get out of here."
"Really? Because last I checked she was busy driving off anyone who could help us do that. Face it, Rachel Berry is out to look after Rachel Berry." She looks him right in the eye, her hand up on his shoulder now, body tilting toward his. "She and Quinn are just two of a kind."
His faces twists, as if she'd struck him. He looks darkly at her (oh shit. Too far too fast?) and mutters, "you don't know her like I do." There's a hint of uncertainty in his tone, though.
Green light.
"How can you be sure? She hasn't lied to you before? You know she has; didn't I tell you?" She clicks her tongue. "You love her, and, honestly, she probably loves you to. If you're willing to buy into what she says, then you deserve each other."
Finn looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't know what. She keeps going.
"Just like you loved Quinn, right?"
Something like agony settles over his face, and he gives her a pleading look. Finn, she decides, is the sort of guy that thinks he wants the truth, but can't handle it at all. He's weak. She's going to make him stronger. Santana knows what'll break and make a man. Right now, she's doing both.
Finally, "Rachel's different. Quinn didn't love me, Rachel does. Don't pick on her just because you're pissed."
Santana's startled that he noticed that, even as unsubtle as she's being; Finn isn't exactly famous for his observation skills. She studies him. Maybe she's been underestimating him. A genuine smile tilts her lips.
"Yeah, I'm angry, but you know I'm not lying either."
A strangled silence fills the room as he stares at her, forehead crinkled. "I think you need to leave now."
"No."
"I - what?" That same stupid look.
"No, you don't want me to leave. You don't want to hear what I have to say, but you don't want me to go." She's moved her hand over his heart, feels its rapid beat. "Everyone has all these secrets that no one tells you. Guess what?" Her lips by his ear. "I know them all."
He shudders a little and she gazes at his face. His eyes are screwed shut, blocking her out. Such a little boy. She wonders if he knows that he's gripping her hips.
"Once upon a time you told me that 'it' meant nothing. Were you thinking of us? What Rachel and Jesse were doing? What happened between Puck and Quinn? You were inside of me, baby, I let you inside. You're so greedy, you think people can get closer than that? You want all the way into a person.
"Let me tell you a secret."
He's breathing heavy against her cheek.
"No one will let you closer than that. The only reason you let me was because you didn't know better. It's okay, that's what virgins do, we all learn better. Rachel knows better, if not soon after, than certainly when she started accessorizing eggshells with her outfit."
He's going to leave bruises. Oh god this is going to be good. She's already wet in anticipation.
"'It' meant everything, Finn. I got close to you. You think I meant nothing? You meant nothing."
Calm down.
"I know you in a way Rachel doesn't, like Jesse knows her. Like Puck knows Quinn. Because you all gave us something secret, and we didn't give you shit." She laughs. "Maybe a baby, in Quinn's case. Puck's such a generous boy.
"But, if you want, I can tell you a secret. I'll tell you how to keep Rachel."
He rasps, "tell me."
"Take me to your room, and I'll show you."
Dazed, he leads her to his bedroom, half comprehending her meaning, but obviously ignoring possible consequences. Finn is good at denial. Santana is counting on it.
She shoves him onto his bed, and he stares up at her as she removes her top and unsnaps her bra, revealing her enhanced chest. When he shows no sign of movement, she sighs and grabs his hand to place on her breast. He reflexively squeezes, and she hisses in response. Again, again, his rhythm matching her heartbeat. Darling boy. You've gotten better. He drags his thumb over her nipple. So much better.
"You're the first. To touch them."
"They're so much… bigger."
She barks out a laugh. "No shit. Wanna try the other?"
Instead of placing his free hand there, he surprises her and brings his mouth to it. Santana twines her fingers in his hair and holds him there. Her breasts aren't as sensitive as they were before, but there's almost a physical gratification from seeing him seeing them, touching them and tasting them. She feels empowered. There's a lust ridden boy licking at the underside her expensive boob, and she's almost coming at the thought of how far Quinn and Rachel are from his mind.
Regretfully, she pulls him back, dipping her head to nip at his lip.
"You want to keep Rachel? I'll tell you. First," she straddles him, "you need a secret. And, because I want you with her, Finn, I'll keep it for you."
"How can this help? I'm, crap, I'm cheating on her, Santana! How is this going to help with anything?"
"It's funny that you didn't think of that until now."
He looks so ashamed. Good. You're learning. After she's done with him, he'll never do this again. At least not with anyone else.
"It will help, because you won't worry about what she's keeping from you. No matter what it is, you're already even."
She presses against his chest, smiling at his groan. "Take off your shirt, and then it'll just be skin between us. Don't you want to feel my tits pressed against you, Finn?" Don't you want closer?
There's a moment where she almost doubts that he'll go through with this. She lets her fingernails scratch the back of his neck and smiles coyly.
He takes off his shirt.
{&}
She's licking her way down his belly, fingers curling around his belt. He has that same glazed look in his eye from earlier and she swears she spots a bit of drool as she unbuckles the belt and undoes the fastenings of his pants. She starts; his hands are in her hair, drawing her near. The boy is getting bolder. She feels a little proud of him.
She rewards him. "The second thing you need to know, is that you need her to give up a secret. The easiest way to get there is being her first."
He blinks at her. "But, with Jesse…"
"Yeah, but they probably didn't get around to anal."
His eyes are wide, he's gaping at her. She laughs and slips her hand inside his boxers, causing him to jerk. She grasps him, squeezes.
"Okay, maybe you're not ready yet. Girl's probably too much of a tight ass for that anyway. You know if she ever came with him? Make a girl that wound up cum and she'll swallow - maybe even dig a facial. Chick wears knee socks; she's probably kinky as fuck."
She's been stroking him throughout this, he's swallowing rapidly, almost pained in his desperation.
"Poor baby, you need to come?"
He grunts.
"Go ahead, you'll last longer later this way."
Finn lets go, and after, Santana pulls her hand out and looks at it with satisfaction. He looks a little awe-struck as she sucks her pinky into her mouth. She's amused; Puck always loved that shit too.
"See what I mean? A good orgasm can go a long way."
He just nods.
"Want me to show you how?"
He tugs her up on the bed with him.
{&}
Coated with sweat, and smug, Santana pulls up her jeans. Finn watches her from his bed, a contemplative look in his eyes. She turns to face him, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing to say? Aren't you going to mourn another lost moment with Rachel Berry? I know how little this all means to you after all."
"No." He's quiet. "I'm not proud of what we did, but it didn't mean nothing."
Santana falters. "What did it mean?"
He's looking at her. Like he knows her.
He doesn't know shit.
Feeling uneasy, she tries to shrug it off, and rolls her eyes at him. "Whatever. You got yours and I got mine. Which reminds me, I still need to tell you the third way to keep your precious girlfriend."
She pauses, anticipating his eagerness. He is staring at his knees, brow furrowed, quiet.
Santana clears her throat, unsure. "Tell her - tell her that Quinn wants you back. Tell her that little secret and you'll seal the deal. She'll never be second best to Quinn Fabray again."
"You mean you won't." He has a hard look in his eyes. "I get it now. You weren't lying, were you? Quinn, she lied to me, Rachel told me the truth. Because they wanted to keep me. But you; you just want to keep me from someone, don't you?"
I underestimated him.
"You were right, 'it' meant something. To you."
He's gotten off the bed, his approach slow but without anger, just confidence.
She backs away.
"It's all about secrets, right? Well guess what, Santana? Guess what I figured out?"
Santana flees, but she still hears his call after her.
"You."
Author's Note: I never realized that I wanted to write a Santana/Finn fic until I started writing this. Now I'm really digging this pairing. I converted myself! Go me!
If I made everyone out to be not very awesome, then I did my job here. I think that Finn could cheat on his girlfriend, I think that Santana could use a guy to get what she wants, I think that Rachel could lie to someone she cares for, I think that Quinn would manipulate a situation to her advantage. Why? Because they all have before. In canon. I don't watch Glee and think "man, everyone should behave like these guys" because they're all jerks. I like them like that. I'm going to write them like that.
Why do Santana and Finn think Rachel lost her virginity to Jesse in this? Because I decided that I like that lie in place. Also, because we haven't seen it resolved in the show yet.
Title taken from "Peachy" by Missy Higgens.