Disclaimer -
A/N: Written for the challenge 'morning' on KH Drabble. I've threatened to write this pairing before, especially after I finished Garden of Thoughts and Dreams. To the best of my knowledge, I'm the only one who's ever written these two as a couple (though I'd be interested if anyone can correct me on this).
Mornings
© Scribbler, July 2008.
Mornings are the most peaceful part of the day – the time when the world wakes, birds tweet the dawn chorus, the sun peeps lazily over the horizon, and everything slowly comes to life with the hurriedness of molasses dripping off a spoon onto a nice piece of toast.
Well, usually.
"You fucker. You took all the blankets again."
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Remove your foot from the small of my back."
"What? I can't hear you over the chattering of my teeth from all my invisible blankets."
"You do make such a fuss over nothing."
"Exactly – I got nothing, you got it all."
"Oh for goodness' sake. Here. Have the lot. I'm getting up anyway."
"Fine. Fuck off then. Mind out for the-"
"Ouch! What's this? Why on earth is there a screwdriver on my floor?"
"Fell outta my pocket. Thought I heard something clunk last night, but you'd put the candle out by then. Why the fuck don't you install electric lights in this dump?"
"A candle has always sufficed until now, and will continue to do so. Not everything has to be a technological marvel to serve its purpose."
"Pretty fucking backwards mentality."
"Thank you for that sterling wake-up call disparaging my philosophy. I do so enjoy starting earn morn on a positive note."
"Fuck it."
"Is there any time of day when you aren't cursing more than a misanthropic dark mage? And now you're turning your back on me like a spoilt child. You're worse than Yuffie."
"Compare me to that brat again and I'll wedge that screwdriver so far up your ass you'll be able to taste it."
"Charming. I thought you were eager to stake your claim on the blankets? Where are you going?"
"One lump or two?"
"Excuse me?"
"Don't play dumb. You do this every morning, and it ain't getting any cleverer. One or two?"
"…Three."
"Fucktard."
"I can't stand bitter tea. You know that."
"Yeah, yeah."
"How would you like your toast?"
"Depends. You summoning that mini dragon to breathe fire all over it?"
"No, I intend to use that mechanical monstrosity you installed."
"It's called a toaster."
"It's called a nightmare. A miniature-fantail is much more efficient."
"'Cept the kitchen stinks of sulphur afterwards and all the bread's charcoal."
"So I take it you want your toast practically dough as usual?"
"With jam."
"Of course."
"You got that strawberry stuff I like – without the pips?"
"You said pips get stuck in your teeth. I had to go to Saunterville to get it."
"…Thanyow…"
"Excuse me?"
"Thank you."
"Oh. Well. Yes. And so you should thank me."
"Huh."
"Quite. And, uh, thank you for the cup of tea. It, er, always tastes nicer in the mornings. What's your secret?"
"No secret. I just make a pot of goddamn tea and pour it."
"Hm."
"Here."
"And here's your toast."
"You… put the jam on for me?"
"Oh for goodness' sake, just eat it or the day will run away without us."
Yuffie stretches, absorbing the first rays of sunshine like a flower uncurling its petals. She's not usually awake at this hour, but after a spectacular night of setting booby-traps, laying a trail of clues and preparing the biggest scavenger hunt of all time for Leon's birthday, she's too pooped to move from this roof.
She's just wondering whether she should risk falling asleep (ninjas don't fall off roofs, but they can roll over in their sleep and that could ruin her meagre mystique if anyone found her upended in a water barrel or clinging to a drainpipe), when a door opens on the street below.
The hell?
Cid tromps down the street, chewing a toothpick. Merlin goes back into his house without watching him, but the meaning of their exchange is clear.
Ew. Old man sex. Yuffie pulls a face, at the same time wondering how come even those two old farts found someone while she, the greatest ninja ever, is still a lonely singleton. Life is so unfair.
Fin.