A very beautiful person on Tumblr created a post that was the outline for this story, but for the life of me I can't remember who they were. So if you ever see it floating around, that person deserves credit for this.


Despite it being a late August day, it was still surprisingly warm outside.

Tsubomi shifted nervously shifted from foot to foot, feeling the hoard of eyes casting their soul piercing gazes on her. It made her feel very self conscious. In all reality, the children were regarding their new fellow household member with nothing but mere curiosity.

Tsubomi didn't really feel like herself. Previously, her hair had been at shoulders length, but was now cut and hanging barely two inches past her ears. The clothes she wore felt of silk (they no doubt were) and hung loosely off her twig thin body. This outfit, consisting of a knee length, red skirt and a light pink, long sleeved blouse tied in the front by a red ribbon, had been the only clothes salvaged for her and it had been decided that these would only be used for special occasions. Since she was wearing them now, Tsubomi assumed this was considered a special occasion.

"Children, this is Kido Tsubomi." There was a gentle pat on her head as the introduction was made and she stiffened.

She didn't like this. As a low murmur of welcoming passed from the other children, Tsubomi was even more aware of their stares. And that was why she kept her eyes down. Those crimson irises that would make them look with less curiosity and more with disgust. The adults already discussed them when thinking she couldn't hear or that she didn't understand. Would the same have to be suffered by children her own age?

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Shuuya barely regarded the thin, green haired girl in front of him. She was different. Her clothes were different, her hair was different. She seemed like a fragile China doll; she didn't belong here, he could tell just by looking at her.

He didn't like her, but then again he didn't dislike her. He didn't know anything about her, other than she looked rich. She looked like the kind of person that would look down on someone like him. So he didn't look at her.

Kousuke held onto his sleeve. The timid boy barely ever spoke at times, but Shuuya felt his presence comforting. He was always fiercely protective of him. Kousuke was always hiding his eye behind his bangs. It didn't always prevent what would happen when others were around, but it worked a good percentage of the time. The power to steal people's thoughts, to know their past and present with one single glance scared both Kousuke and Shuuya.

But Shuuya wasn't entirely innocent either. Though he protected Kousuke from whatever he could, the fact that his friend could see so easily through him was unnerving. It's so cruel to try and isolate Kousuke from everyone else when he lied directly to the boy's face even though he knew the truth. When he put on his mask and pretended everything was alright. But they both dealt with it, no matter how much it upset either of them. Shuuya needs to be needed; what other purpose does he have in this world? And Kousuke is too fragile and weak to protect himself (though Shuuya is almost no different). They are the same, yet different. They share a similar burden and that is what keeps them together.

Kido Tsubomi will never understand, Shuuya thinks. She would only look down on them. She is a privileged child that just had a stroke of bad luck and ended up here. She will never understand monsters like them.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Tsubomi didn't know where to go. Her clothes had been changed from her soft silk ones to a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and a red jacket. All hand me downs. She didn't mind them and actually felt a little more at peace inside, like she fit in now.

No one had seemed to notice her yet. The yard was full of kids playing with one another and even some playing alone, but still she didn't know where to go. Seeing as no one had approached her, she assumed she was invisible for the moment. It was a thought that relieved her and saddened her.

Even after getting used to the warm feeling of her 'eyes', she still had to rub them every time it happened. If no one could see her, how was she supposed to make friends? She wanted them right? But friends were a vague concept to Tsubomi.

She walked along the small, wooden porch and then hopped off onto the soft grass. Still, no one even sent a glance her way. She was still making her way timidly across the lawn, over to the farther recesses to be alone when she tripped over and landed on something softer than the ground.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Kousuke had been patiently waiting for Shuuya to return like he always did when the boy had to leave him sometimes. He like being with others, he hated being alone, but he felt it was better that he was. Shuuya was the only one who hadn't thought so, and had accepted him. Not that he wasn't grateful, but sometimes Shuuya upset him. He wished he would just tell him the truth.

This was what he was doing at the moment, kneeling down and picking out blades of grass, twisting them, and then throwing them away, waiting for Shuuya still.

Suddenly there was a sharp pain in his back. He felt himself being toppled over by a heavy weight like he was being pushed. Kousuke's first instinct was to curl up and protect himself if someone was trying to hurt him, so he did. But the person lifted themselves off of him instead.

"I'm- I'm sorry." a girl's almost inaudible voice squeaked. "Are you alright?" she asked timidly, "Do you need help?"

Kousuke didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what to do. Slowly though, he began to get up. It was quiet, so he figured the girl was gone. Apparently he was wrong when a hand touched his shoulder softly, and he shut his eyes instinctively.

"I really... really am sorry." she said. He could feel her stare on him, but he leaned his head away even with his eyes squeezed shut.

"Are you hurt?" She was still here. Why was she here? He wanted her to leave. He didn't want to see. There was a sniffle and the hand on his shoulder left. "I really am sorry." Was she crying? He didn't want her to cry.

"W... wait." Kousuke said. He thought she might be gone or that her back was turned, but no, she was still there when he turned and opened his eyes, meeting her tear glazed red ones that matched his own.

Rejected... Rejected again. Why does everyone reject me? What did I do? I just want to disappear. I just want to disappear! I don't want to be a burden.

It didn't stop. Tears started to prick his eyes, his throat tightening and becoming sore with unvoiced sobs. He just wanted it to stop.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Tsubomi didn't understand. She had been on the verge of crying moments ago, wondering what she did wrong. And now the little raven haired boy she'd fallen on, after taking one look at her, started tearing up. His bottom lip trembling uncontrollably.

Tsubomi wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she was frozen. The boy had red eyes, diluted irises just like her own. She wasn't alone after all. She may have talked to him, hope rising in his chest at the thought of not having to be alone anymore. But then something else happened.

"Kousuke, are you okay?" Another boy with dirty blonde hair ran up to the one sobbing in front of Tsubomi. The other had barely put his hand on the boy's shoulder before he buried his face against him, trembling and crying.

Tsubomi stood there awkwardly watching the scene play out before her. The smaller one, she now knew as Kousuke, was being comforted by the blonde. He was hugging him and murmuring something in a low tone she suspected were words of solace. The longer she stood the more alienated she felt. The cold glances the blonde boy was directing at her didn't help the feeling decrease.

In the end, they both left, Kousuke being led away by the other. Away from her, who still had unspoken words for him that were now dying on her lips. The familiar sick feeling formed in her stomach as it had so many times before. The feeling of being abandoned and unwanted, again.


Shuuya wasn't too keen on having Tsubomi with them at first. After Kousuke had stopped crying he had, first of all, apologized for doing so, which Shuuya always found utterly ridiculous. Then he'd told him about the girl he'd met and what'd happened. Shuuya had a hard time believing a girl like her could be anything like them, but he was wrong.

Her 'eyes' made her disappear constantly. It became a sort of grim game that Kousuke and Shuuya participated in; they'd always have to find Tsubomi. Kousuke had the advantage, and would burst into tears whenever Tsubomi was near as he could hear her sobbing in his head for help. But it was Shuuya who always located her. And that was the extent of their relationship at the time. Nothing but firm handholds of assistance, pats on the back, and a comforting word or two.

The main reason Shuuya allowed her around was because he felt it was good for Kousuke. Unlike him, she couldn't hide her feelings outwardly and was painfully honest. She asserted herself when she felt it necessary and cried tears in much the same way. He envied her for that, but was grateful that she couldn't see so easily through him all the time, but still accepted him regardless.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Shuuya and Tsubomi had tension from being a little too alike, and Kousuke knew this better than anyone.

Even though their backgrounds clashed together painfully and pushed them apart like the equal poles of a magnet, their feelings were very much the same. He could see they both felt like burdens, as if everything is their own fault, and that they both held a certain anger towards the world around them for the way they were treated and the way things in their lives went.

That's why it hurt Kousuke a lot whenever the two ticketed or fought. He, who could hear every thought, just wanted them to reconcile quickly. They're all friends right? Monsters together. He just wanted his only friends to be friends too. And he knows they are, they just understand each other too well.

"Kousuke, we're sorry." Tsubomi was apologizing for what seemed like the hundredth time now.

"Please," Shuuya added on, "we won't do it again, promise." he said.

Kousuke knew that neither of them would be able to keep such a promise, but he still wiped his eyes and nodded. He could tell they were trying their best, and that was all he could ask for.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It was happening again, and again, Tsubomi didn't understand why it was happening.

"You just don't know what you're talking about." Shuuya argued with her.

"Actually, I do." she countered, putting her small hands on her hips.

"Whatever." he scoffed, "Why don't you just do what you do best and disappear."

The words stung, two-edged swords piercing her heart. She stiffened. Shuuya's countenance had changed and she wondered if he was suddenly regretting his words. Kousuke's face had gone pale; she knew he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Tsubomi-" Shuuya had barely gotten her name out before she took off running. Not even bothering to look back, she just ran.

This was her first time having friends, people who seemed to want her around at all. Shuuya and Kousuke were the first people to say it was easier for her to be around. She was sure Shuuya didn't mean what he'd said, but that didn't make him any less right. They was what she did do best, disappear.

Deep down, that had been her wish. Even now that she had friends, she still wished for it. She was scared of what she was. A monster like her should just disappear.

Curling up in some unknown corner, tears of anger started leaking from her eyes. Anger at Shuuya, anger at the world, and anger at herself.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Shuuya had searched all day, but had been unable to find Tsubomi. He felt like giving up, but if he did that, it would seem like an insult to her. He didn't want to make her feel as if he didn't value their friendship. But he did.

He slumped on top of the bed he shared with Kousuke, his face buried against the pillow as he resisted the urge to cry. Kousuke, who had his back to him, wasn't asleep like Shuuya thought and turned over to face his friend.

"You couldn't find her?" Kousuke asked in a whispered tone, respecting the other kids that were trying to sleep at the moment. Instead of answering with words, Shuuya just shook his head against the pillow. "Maybe she didn't want to be found." Kousuke suggested.

There was silence before Shuuya said, "I shouldn't have said what I did." in a low murmur. Kousuke was quiet, but to be honest, Shuuya was surprised he'd even talked to him after what he'd done. Why did he always have to be so selfish?

"I know where she is." Kousuke's words were barely audible and Shuuya almost didn't catch them. He lifted himself on his forearms to look at his friend. Shuuya opened his mouth to say something, but Kousuke continued. "I didn't tell you because she was mad and really upset. She probably wouldn't have talked to you even if you had apologized." His eyes were cast down as he spoke. "But she probably will now. She's over by the garden, in the space between the fence and the flower pots, I think. So please, just make up."

Shuuya nodded, giving his friend a small smile before heading off.

"Tsubomi? Tsubomi are you here?" he called softly. The dimming light made it harder for him to see, but it was enough to get by. He was checking over where Kousuke thought he'd heard her. "Please, Tsubomi. I'm sorry, can't you come out?"

"Go away." Her soft voice emanated from an unknown space.

Shuuya looked around, trying to locate the source of her voice. "Tsubomi, where are you?"

"Just leave me alone." she said sniffling, followed by a soft hiccup.

Shuuya sighed. He crouched down, his back up against the feeble wooden fence. "I know you're mad at me, but I came to apologize." he said. His eyes scanned the area, looking for subtle signs of Tsubomi's whereabouts.

"I'm not... I'm not mad at you." Tsubomi said softly. "I just- I don't like what I've become. It's better for me to be gone. I'm sorry, but I'm just no good."

It was then that Shuuya understood, he really did. He remembered all those times apologizing for his existence, for being a burden and doing something wrong.

"Tsubomi... don't- don't say things like that." Shuuya said. "Kousuke and I, we're in the same situation as you. We know just the slightest bit what you're feeling, rejected and unwanted. But you're our friend, Tsubomi. You're my friend. And a world without you would be sad."

"Shuuya..." Tsubomi was whimpering, sounding very close to downright sobbing. "A- at this rate I'll- I'll disappear, and-"

"Don't worry about that," he cut in, "I'll find you, okay? I always do. I promise."

Shuuya was knocked back by some unseen force, and his unsteady position caused him to fall flat on his back. After he recovered from the fall he realized the "unseen force" was non other than Tsubomi. She was hugging him her might, her cold, tearstained face pressing into his warm neck. She was saying his name over and over again. "Shuuya, Shuuya... Shuuya..."

He began to hold onto her just as tightly, finding her small body strangely comforting to have in his arms, and his hands slightly curled into her jacket.

They walked hand in hand back to the room, Tsubomi not wanting to leave Shuuya's side. And he was in no position to deny her; he in fact wanted her there too.

Kousuke looked up when the two came in. Seeing their hands intertwined, it was the first time his mind didn't reel back upon hearing his friend's thoughts, and he smiled.

Shuuya, the boy who needed to be needed, and Tsubomi, who needed to be wanted, had finally found their balance.

That night Tsubomi slept with them. She was in the middle and nuzzled into Shuuya's soft, blonde hair while Kousuke curled into the small curve of her back, his arm rested on her hip. They may have been monsters, but they belonged together. They felt loved by each other. And it was their first time feeling that ever.