The Past
An Alternate world
Another Day, another opportunity for death.
'So much for falling sick.'
Alice got out of bed.
So much for my happy ending. So much for everything.
So much for my hero coming, nothing is coming. Nothing is ever coming. That's how life is.
Alice gritted her teeth. She didn't want to go to school. When she looked up, all she saw was the grey sky. She sat down on the rough ground of the courtyard.
'That's her'
'Damn it, she is here. Why does she have to sit there?'
'I wish she would just go away'
Alice got up and walked away, she didn't want to hear those words.
Her gaze stayed on the floor as she walked. Faces scared her. All she saw in them were monsters and hate. All she saw were anger and disappointment. All she saw was blame and resentment.
Will today be another day? Or will it be…
Alice took another step.
The wind feels nice. For once, she felt comfortable and peaceful. The black hole in her heart is still there, but at least she knows it is going to go today.
'Come back in the class when you have calmed down'
'Why is she in our group!?'
'Go to the other group'
'She actually hates you'
'Your lazy and stupid, why don't you do anything!'
Alice closed her eyes. Even though those words rang in her head continuously, for some reason, she was peaceful.
Perhaps she knew today is the day. She almost could not wait.
The school bell rang. She walked back to the courtyard to gather for class.
####################################################################################################
'Look at this! Are you proud of this?' The teacher's voice rang throughout the classroom.
Alice remained silent and emotionless. The teacher's voice sounded like the background voices she desperately tries to block off. Faces morph showing her the hate in everyone's eyes.
The book flew across the class. Alice picked it up and looked at it.
0/30
Alice was not surprised. Her heart felt nothing. Her mind thought of nothing. All she could feel was the black hole in her chest.
'Everyone hates me. No one loves me. No one. My hero will never come. No one knows me.'
Alice had handed up her homework. That previous night, she couldn't do it. She simply did not have the heart to do it. Each time she thought of it, the black hole in her heart swallows up everything.
'English class, group work. My favourite.' Alice thought sarcastically.
Once again, Alice was the only one with no group. The teacher assigns her to a random group.
The group was split between the guys and girls, Alice went to join the girls.
'Can you go join the guys?
Once again, rejected. Alice went to join the guys.
'Why are you here? Go join the girls.'
Rejected again, Alice went to join the girls.
'Why are you back? I told you to join the guys.' Alice stayed silent.
Not wanted. Hated, not needed. Useless.
The girls and guys are arguing. 'Over me. They don't want me.'
Alice didn't know why, tears began to fall. The teacher brought her out of the class.
'Come back when you have stopped crying.'
Alice stood outside the class alone.
'why didn't you ask me what's wrong? Why didn't you try to console me? I guess even the teachers hate me.' Alice thought sadly.
Alice stood there thinking. Then her legs moved. She found herself at the school rooftop garden. She laid down on the floor, and looked at the sky. It was blue, but it looked grey to her.
'Even the sky hates me.'
Burden, Useless, Lazy
I hate her
I don't want to be with her
Before she knew it, she was at the edge.
She looked down and saw the end. She saw her freedom. The black hole is disappearing.
'No one loves me, everyone hates me. It's better if I just…'
And she jumped.
She felt free, felt so free. Never have she felt this happy. Her suffering is going to end. She is going to be free.
Her hair flew and she closed her eyes. Soon it will be over. She couldn't wait. The faces of the people she knew flashed before her. But she was peaceful.
'Goodbye World.'
The world went black.
####################################################################################################
I woke up with a start.
My body was shaking and my heart is racing. I breathed in deeply, trying to calm myself.
'God Dammit.' I thought as I gritted my teeth. The memories never stop.
I looked at the clock, it was 3 AM. I sighed. I knew what that dream meant. I knew, it was what would happen if I took that path.
Back then, I was only 12. 6 years later, I am still hunted by those memories.
I got out of bed.
I sat on a chair at the balcony. As the cold wind blew across my face, my body shivered from both the cold and the memories.
'I wish it would just go away.' I thought.
'Iris? What's the matter?' a voice sounded.
I turned around and saw it was my friend, Chris. I was sleeping with 6 other people in an apartment; it was during a camp.
'Nothing.'
'Don't lie, you look bad'
I stayed silent.
Chris walked over and sat next to me.
'Beautiful night, isn't it?' Chris remarked
'What are you doing? Up so late?' I enquired.
'You know, just a habit of mine.' He replied as he leaned back on the chair he and I sat.
We both watched the stars and sky silently.
'I had a bad dream.' I whispered, after a short while.
Chris sat up.
'A dream of my past, it was scary.'
Chris placed a hand on my shoulder.
'The past is the past...right?' I let out a strangled whisper.
'Yeah it is'
As we sat there, before I knew it, my eyes were closing. All I saw was darkness afterwards.
Just like my dream.
But now, I know I have them, I have friends, I am needed.
And, I have him.
Authors note:
It is my first story and thanks for reading it. Give me feedback and tell me how it is :)