The First Time
Well it's been 7 years... 7 long years since I met him. Since I met the man I fell in love with. 7 years since he asked me "Are you an angel?" 7 years since he swept me away. Of course I didn't know it at the time. I thought he was just a silly little boy who had a crush on me because I was pretty. But now, as I lie next to him, his arms around my waist holding me to him... I know that the "crush" was something much more.
Well, I must say, I did promise myself I would wait until I was married to... to um... let go of my virginity... but I made an exception. We wouldn't see each other for another 6 months... and the mission he's going on is dangerous. I was afraid... he was afraid, so he told me... everything.
He told me about how his heart pounded inside his head the first moment he saw me. He told me how he wanted to impress me so much with his pod racer and droid. He told me about how warm he felt after I spoke with him after he left his mother. He told me he loved me, so much that every time he was away from me, part of him seemed to be ripped away and pulled to me. Needless to say, I was speechless.
So, I gave in. I let the walls fall, and the barriers break down. For the first time in years, I cried. I cried like baby in his arms, out of pure joy. Joy that he felt the same. Joy that he wanted me. Joy that he loved me for me and not my title. Joy for him. He wasted no time in comforting me. He kissed me, for the first time. Then one thing led to another and here we are, together, lying stark naked in my bedroom on my bed.
I wonder what will happen now. I wonder what Obi-Wan will say. Ha! This is going to lead to a very long lecture A VERY LONG LECTURE. He will be very displeased. First of all, Ani, by doing what we have just done, has broken a Jedi-code rule. Padawans are not allowed to... erm... mate until they have reached the level of knight. Secondly we are not married. Third, he is 4 years younger then I. But none of it matters to me. See if I care.
He shifts beside me under the silken sheets of my bed; He tightens his grasp around me. Is he having a dream? I turn my head to face him and see a look of pure happiness upon his gentle features. He is the angel. He is the innocent one. He is still, in many ways, a boy. But as I said, see if I care. He wanted this as much as I, and he got it. I place a tender kiss on his forehead. He is so amazing.
I move my brown eyes from his face to my window. The sky sparkles with tiny dots of light. Stars. He will leave to one of those tomorrow... away from me. Damn. If only he were a prince and not a Jedi. If only... but this is who he is, and I respect that. In fact, I have a sense of pride for it. He's a Jedi. He's fulfilling his dreams. And at the same time, without even realizing it, I do believe he's fulfilling mine. Curse the skies and the world around us. Curse it all; if I can have him all will be well.
I sigh and he stirs. "Hello Ami." he says in a husky, tired voice, "Hello yourself Jedi." I reply. He places his head on my shoulder. "So... are you ok?" I smile. He's far too worried about me. He always has been. "Why wouldn't I be?" He blushes. "Well Master Obi-Wan... when he gave me THE talk... he told me that the first time... it was supposed to hurt the girl a little bit so..." He fumbles for words, as he blushes from neck to braid. I have to laugh. "Ani, I'm fine... you really shouldn't worry it wasn't very painful." He smiles and says, "I think the painful thing will be the Master's lectures in the morning." We both groan. "Oh... yes. THAT is going to be pleasant." I mutter. He smirks. "It was worth it."
I gasp and laugh. "You're sick, Ani!" He makes a mock angry face. "YOU shouldn't talk Ami." I blush. "Be quiet Jedi, or I'll cut off that little braid of yours." I say as I tug on his Padawan braid. "Try it and you'll be in trouble Queenie." I raise an eyebrow. "What are you gunna do?" He rolls me over onto my back so that he is on top of me. "This." He kisses me with a fire, a passion, so loving and breathtaking, that it cannot be described by words. I break off the kiss and smile.
"I love you Anikan."
"I love you too Amidala."