Seven years.
Seven years of happiness, passion, and an amount of love that baffled anyone who caught a glimpse of it. Seven years of promises, countless 'I love you's. Five years of marriage. How did they get here?
He'd never tell you, but he couldn't say he was surprised. He knew Sebastian and he knew that he was kind of closed off when it came to feelings. He had always known that, even when he managed to break down most of those walls, there were still some up. He saw that. Sure, it bothered him. It bothered him that when they'd fight, Sebastian would run away rather than talk it through. He'd leave Blaine all alone in their apartment for hours, even over the smallest thing. Then he'd come back and apologize and expected that to be it. He never wanted to talk about it and it bothered Blaine to no end. He knew it wasn't good. It wasn't good for them to just fight, make up, and go back to normal without talking about what they were fighting over. He knew it was just like a ticking time bomb and that it would blow up in their faces one day. Seven years later it finally did.
He couldn't tell you what the fight was about. But it ended the same way it always did, with him sitting alone in their apartment. Waiting. He wasn't even mad over whatever it was anymore. He was mad that it had been over seven hours and Sebastian wasn't home yet, it was after midnight. He wasn't even mad, really. He was more upset, worried. Sebastian had never been gone this long before.
When Sebastian finally came stumbling home at two and morning, the stench of alcohol and smoke strong on his clothes, he didn't say a word to Blaine despite Blaine speaking to him.
"H-hey," He said softly, his arms crossed loosely over his torso, watching as Sebastian's changed from his clothes into pajamas. "Seb? Don't...don't you think we should talk?"
Sebastian still said nothing, just gently pushing past Blaine to go down the hallway to the guest room.
"Sebastian…"
His only response was the door closing and locking.
This was bad.
He didn't know just how bad though, he figured what would happen is that they'd sleep in separate beds that one night and then in the morning they'd make up and things would be fine. That's how it worked, how they worked.
But when he woke up the next morning Sebastian was gone again, only a note left on one of the pillows of the guest bed.
B,
I'm sorry for putting you through this. You deserve so much better than me. You're such a good and wonderful person, Blaine. I love you more than anything in this world, that's why I can't do this anymore. I don't want to hurt you anymore.
You'll get the papers within the next week or two. You can keep the apartment if you want, and the car, and anything else that you would like. I won't fight you on it.
You're going to find someone who will treat you right, B. Someone who talks with you the way you deserve, you gives you everything in the world, who doesn't fight with you over every stupid little thing, someone who makes you feel loved and appreciated. Someone who isn't constantly hurting you and making you feel unwanted.
I do love you and I am sorry this didn't work.
Goodbye,
Sebastian.
He felt empty. Like someone had punched him in the stomach. Sebastian was serious this time. It didn't matter what they fought about, he was always there when Blaine woke up. They'd always work it out. He'd never bring up divorce when he wasn't angry.
What if this was it?
He tried calling Sebastian over and over again but he just got his voicemail each time. The last time he called he finally left a message, sitting on the guest bed, tears rolling down his cheeks, his head I his hand.
Right after the beep he sniffled. "You're really serious this time aren't you?" His voice was barely higher than a whisper.
...
A few days later he say alone in their - Nope. His. - empty apartment. Sebastian had moved his stuff out the week before while Blaine was at work, without his knowledge. When he came home that night he greedily drank a bottle of wine, trying not to feel the nausea that curled in his stomach, but it was no use, it only made it worse and gave him a headache.
It was too quiet, too cold. The feeling of them, their happiness, their warm relationship, it was gone.
He stared at the divorce papers in front of him and his phone lying right next to them. He didn't want to sign them, he wanted his phone to ring. He sat there staring at it, willing it to make some sort of noise telling him that Sebastian was returning his call and that all of this could be over. But nothing. This was so stupid. He didn't even know the reasoning behind all of this. He didn't want this. He knew Sebastian didn't either. Or at least he thought so. He didn't know anymore, honestly. Maybe Sebastian didn't want this anymore.
That was the reason he signed the papers. Because he couldn't stand the thought of him being anywhere near the reason Sebastian was unhappy.
He kept his phone right by his side, though. Hoping.
….
He hadn't seen him since the day before he left and he was nervous to. He kept his gaze cast down for the entire time he was at the lawyer's office, afraid that looking at his husband would result in him being a sobbing mess. He barely listened as his and Sebastian's attorneys went over whatever it was they were going on about. He only tuned in when Sebastian spoke up, the sound of his voice going right through him.
"Give him whatever he wants."
That was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear Sebastian tell the attorneys to forget this whole thing. That it was ridiculous. But he didn't.
All Blaine needed was for him to say something and he'd forget this whole thing ever happened and he'd take Sebastian home and never let go. He was beginning to give up hope.
When they both stood up to leave the office that day Blaine finally got up enough courage to look at his now ex-husband as Sebastian started to walk out.
"S-sebastian," He shook his head, tears filling his eyes. "I...I don't want this."
Closing his eyes, Sebastian took a deep breath as if he were trying to hold himself together. This was so stupid. Neither one of them wanted this but Sebastian was so god damn stubborn, thinking he wasn't good enough for Blaine, he never even gave Blaine a choice or a reason. He just decided himself. It wasn't fair.
Blaine watched him carefully, looking for any last sign of hope, he could tell that Sebastian was on the verge of opening his mouth but at the last minute he shook his head.
Say something.
"Goodbye, Blaine." He said very softly, Blaine could hear the shake in his voice.
When Sebastian walked out of the doors Blaine truly felt alone. His heart was gone, his home was gone. He had nothing and he felt like he was going to be sick.
He didn't go the their apartment that night. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't even handle being in that city either. So he got on a plane and left for California. He'd stay with Cooper until he could bare to come back, if ever. He didn't shed a single tear the rest of that day, not on the plane, not when he met Cooper at the airport and he asked how he was doing, not once. Not until he poured himself into bed and he realized that it was really over. He and Sebastian, the love of his life, were divorced and now in different states.
When that hit him he cried, he cried until he made himself sick and then he cried some more, he cried until he couldn't anymore, until he exhasted himself and he just fell asleep, his arms wrapped tight around his body as if he was trying to hold himself together.
He didn't get out of the bed for days. He just laid there, sometimes sobbing into his pillow, sometimes out of tears to cry. But he didn't move, he just stayed in bed, his phone on the pillow next to him, wating still.
Say something.