Ritsu: You may call me Ritsu, but here on FF I am known as Rinnu500. This is a crackcollab between me and my sis, DennyTribal. I shall warn you, there will be character bashing… Just sayin'. The first chapter's written by me, the second will be written by my sis, the third by me and so on. And NOW! Over to the awesome narrator of this story, the epic Cactuar … Federico!

Federico: Ah, it is a pleasure to be here! I hope you will enjoy my narrative skills and the story in general. Please enjoy.

Also, I take no responsibility. I'm merely following the script Ritsu and Denny write for me. .,.

The Hanging Edge, Random Bridge.

"Hold on, I'll save you, cause I'm a HERO!" Snow yelled, holding onto the blonde woman for dear life. Thing was, he was the one in need of saving. Nora, as the woman was named at birth, was holding onto the edge of the now collapsed bridge, Snow clutching her legs in fear. Eventually she felt her grip slipping, since a certain 'hero' tried climbing her, and shoved her hands aside to pull himself up.

"Whew, that was close! You okay?" he spoke, turning his head to look. But she was gone.

"… Oh shit…" he muttered when he realized he just caused her to fall off a bridge, to her most likely imminent death. Scratching his head nervously, Snow decided to retreat. And so he found a convenient pair of boxes to hide behind.

"This moment needs… a song!"

When you've had a bad day,

Killed someone straight.

Made a kid sad and frown the whole damn night.

Then make it all right,

Kill someone else,

Tell the kid you were the wrong guy~

But then, suddenly, he got pimpslapped by a redhead, her corkscrews(Alas, I, Federico, speak of her hair.) bouncing with every move.

"You killed her! You bastard! I should Ectopudding you right now!" she yelled, slapping the poor blonde over and over. Which forced poor Snow to actually defend himself. And so he gave her a push, successfully ramming the girl into the bridge railing. But she was quick on her feet, and so she drew a weapon this time.

"I'm going to whip you till your face looks like an Adamantoise butt!"

"T_T This needs another song…"

I got pimpslapped by a chick,

Oh noes, oh noes!

I got pimpslapped by a chick.

Oh noes, oh noes, HEY!

The chick went forth and dissed my song,

Oh noes, oh noes!

The chick even kicked my poor groin,

Oh noes, damn that hurt!

"Shut up!"

Error! Error!

Federico: It appears we have some technical difficulties… Well, I take no responsibility!

Le gasp! I have been discovered! I must escape, sexily! *escapes sexily through a convenient ventilation shaft*