I've not read the books, but here's how I imagine Ross's childhood. Please review !
Grace entered the library, where her husband was sitting at his desk, writing in his accounting books. His sullen expression – it was no secret that he hated account keeping- brightened as soon as he saw her.
"Well, my dear, did you find what you wanted in Truro ?"
"I did. But Joshua, where is Ross ? Prudie told me that he's out since the beginning of the afternoon."
"He's gone fishing with young Paul Daniel and Mark, his older brother. I told him to be back for tea."
"So late ! He's only seven, Joshua. And Jud is so careless…"
"Don't worry, it's not Jud who's with him. It's Martin's eldest. He'll take care of the lot of them."
"And that's supposed to reassure me ? The boy is barely eighteen, and you told me that he was probably helping these smugglers…"
"Free traders" corrected Joshua with a smile.
"Whatever. Are these boys a suitable company for your heir, Joshua ? Shouldn't he spend less time with them and more with his cousins who are so well-educated ?"
Joshua snorted. "Verity is a girl, and a very timid one at that. As for Francis, he's such a wimp he'd be better off if he'd been born female as well."
"Joshua !"
"Well, it's the truth, is it not ?"
Sighing, Grace gave up and climbed down the steps to wait for her wayward son in the parlor, doing some needlwork near the open window.
One hour or so later, she heard bouncing, light footseps and through the window, she saw Ross crossing the yard, humming happily to himself. And she smiled proudly, because he was such a fine looking and robust little boy, and then sighed, because with his tangled mane of dark curly hair, his bare feet and his torn shirt, he was looking every bit as disheveled as the wildest of their tenants' offsprings.
One moment later, the parlour's door was opened noisily and Ross rushed into the room."
"Mama, I've been fishing with Paul, Mark and Zacchy. Zacchy took us in his father's boat and I caught four big fishes, all by myself."
"Very big ones ? " asked Joshua with a smile as he entered the room.
"Quite big ! And Zacchy showed us a huge sea cave, and we explored it. He said that it was once used by free traders."
"He should know", muttered Joshua.
Grace sighed again. She was worried about Zacchy.
"Tu devrais convaincre Zacchy d'arrêter. Il risque la potence"(*), she added in french to prevent the child from understanding what she was saying.
"Il le sait bien"(**), Joshua replied, he sat in his armchair and opened a book.
But Grace noticed that Ross, so animated a moment before, was now frowning.
"What's wrong, my dear ?" asked Grace.
"Would Zacchy really hang if he was caught, Mama ?"
Grace's hand stopped in the middle of a stitch. The child had understood what she and his father had said. Yet she was sure she had never used the french word for 'gallows' in front of him. And the french tutor he was sharing with Verity and Francis once a week complained so often about Ross's unruly behavior ! Yet he paid much more attention than it seemed, and absorbed all sorts of kowledge with amazing swiftness. Once again, she felt a surge of pride. In spite of her reservations about the fact he spent so much time with their tenants' sons, she was glad, too, that he showed always such a precocious concern for their fate. She so often regretted Joshua's amiable carelessness.
"Yes, dear, he would", she replied. That's why you mustn't tell anyone that he may have taken part to smuggling expeditions. Do you understand ? Not a word. Even to Francis."
Ross laughed. "Of course I won't ! Francis can't keep a secret. Unlike Verity."
"Speaking of your cousins, tomorrow we'll spend the day at Trenwith. Are you pleased ?"
Ross nodded hesitantly, then asked :
"Will Uncle Charles be there, or at the mine ?"
"I think he'll be there. Why ?"
"He always wants Francis to do everything I do, even if he's afraid. And then, Francis is angry at me. And Uncle Charles always holds Verity responsible for what we do, Francis and I. He always scolds her when we've done something wrong, and it's never her fault. That's not fair."
Grace secretely agreed with her son. Charles Poldark was bullying his daughter and belittling his son all the time. Nothing good would come of it.
"Well, if you don't want her to be scolded, you must listen to her when she tells you not to do something. She's older than you."
"But Mama, if we only did what she doesn't object to, we'd never have any fun. She's afraid of everything. Could we not invite Verity and Francis here, for once, instead of going there ?"
Grace hesitated. How could she tell her little boy that Charle's wife considered that the freedom allowed to Ross was detrimental to his education, and that she didn't want Joshua to be the supervisor of her own children's recreations ? "Your's husband's too lenient, but a boy needs a man's authority. Bring your little savage here more often, so we can civilize him a little", she'd said to her a week before. Grace had been more than a little miffed by the comment, but had let it pass, knowing that her sister-in-law meant well.
"Your aunt prefers us to come."
"Because she doesn't want Francis to play with Mark, Paul and Jim ? I've seen how she was looking at them last time they came to see me when she was there. And she decided that Francis had to go back home immediately instead of having tea with us."
Even at such a young age, Ross couldn't have failed to notice his aunt's attitude. She had made it clear enough.
"Why doesn't she like them, Mama ? It's not their fault if they are poorer than we are."
"Your aunt is a lady, Ross, and most ladies, and gentlemen as well, think that we must not mix with the lower classes."
"But you don't think that. You often go to see our friends in the village."
"They are your father's tenants and employees, my dear, and I think I must visit them so I can be aware of their needs. We are responsible for them. It's not the same as playing with them."
Ross laughed. "But you're a grown-up Mama, you don't play."
"Yet you must know, Ross, that you can play with Mark and Paul, or go fishing with Zacchy only because you are a little boy. When you're a few years older, they'll have to call you Mr Ross, and you'll have to keep your distance, as their future landlord and employer."
"I will not ! exclaimed Ross indignantly."
"You'll have to. These are the rules of the society we live in."
"I don't care about society ! They are my friends !"
Grace smiled. He had such a good heart. And he was still so young. He'd have time enough to understand the rules of his class and to abide to them.
(*) "You should talk to him. He risks the gallows"
(**) "He's well aware of it."