Clarke hits the bed, her back touching the soft furs underneath as a warm body settles on top of her. Clarke brings her arms around the woman's neck, pulling their bodies close, naked skin sliding against each other as frenzied lips meet hers in a hungry, desperate kiss. She opens her mouth, accepting the tongue of her partner as she closes her eyes, clearing her mind from everything else around her, just pouring her focus into the present, into the feelings she so desperately needs to indulge. She can deal with it, lust; all the pain, sorrow and guilt that clung to her body, soul and mind in the three months since the fall of Mount Weather was another story. So now, she kisses to forget, she moans to forget, she bites her bottom lip to forget. Except, no matter the sensations thrumming through her body, no matter the distraction, there is only one thing she can't seem to forget: those damn green eyes.
Clarke presses her own eyes closed and shakes her head. No, she won't, can't think about her, not now, not ever. She wants to forget, she wants to forget and just feel, but as much as she tries, those green eyes keep finding their way into her mind. As the woman on top of her descends, lips grazing her neck and breasts, Clarke sighs, and before she can stop herself, Lexa's name slips from her parted lips in a whimper.
All movements and sound stop. The warm body above her stills, and when Clarke opens her eyes, she sees the woman looking back at her expressionless.
"Niylah... I... I just..." Clarke tries to say and, suddenly feeling self-conscious, pulls the furs up, covering her naked breasts.
"Clarke... it's ok..." Niylah coolly reassures, hard eyes softening as the woman offers her a small smile "I just think this is not a good idea..."
"No! It is. I need... I just need to..." Clarke answers desperately, her voice trailing, coming up empty on words that could convince the woman to continue.
"I know, you need comfort and to forget. But it's not me you need, Clarke. It's not my comfort that you seek, that you need." Niylah looks at her friend pointedly, saying with her eyes what she was sure Clarke didn't want to hear.
"I hate her, Niylah. She betrayed me. She left me there to die. I will never seek comfort from her. I will never lay with her."
"That wasn't exactly the kind of comfort I was talking about. But the only way for you to start healing is to face her. If it's her death or her love that will make your heart stop bleeding, only you can know. You need to see her, talk to her. You've just proved that you can briefly let your mind be free from everything except her. I've heard you before when you are sleeping, Clarke. You call for her. She is the nightmare that haunts your mind and the dream that appeases your soul."
"I... I don't know what to do. I feel so much anger and sorrow. I'm afraid of seeing her again. I..."
"You don't need to go now. Just think about what I said. I'll have everything ready for you when you are ready." The Grounder then gets up and dresses herself. Without saying anything else, she nods and steps outside the tent, leaving a conflicted Clarke to her thoughts.