Disclaimer: Picard isn't mine. Shakespeare isn't mine. The plot, such as it is, is mine.
People Like Me
For 'tis a question left us yet to prove.
Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
I've read this play a dozen times, and yet I never managed to understand the full meaning of those two lines until now. And I know the answer.
Love leads fortune. There is no question in my mind that this is true. Nothing in the chaos of this life is lead by chance; it is an entity unto itself. Love cannot follow, it must be deliberately chosen. You may find love by chance, but you cannot sustain it without allowing it to lead.
I think of Will and Deanna often, not just because I find myself thinking, when Madden says something ridiculous, "Will never would've said such a thing," or wishing that Counselor Adino could somehow replace Deanna as my conscience as well as counselor. No, it is their decision to let love lead that I really envy. Long ago I chose a career in Starfleet and put it above my personal life. There have been times through the years where I've regretted this, but never so much as now. Now, when there are no Picards left after me. Now, when my friends are starting a life together and all they need is each other, when they'd drop their careers if the careers would separate them. Now, when I know someday Deanna will contact me to tell me she's pregnant.
They will probably ask me to be the godfather, and I'll say I would be honored. It will be the truth, but it will also bring sadness because I know it will be the closest I'll ever come to being a parent. I let that chance pass me by too many times.
I believe I'm the oldest captain in Starfleet now, but every time it's hinted that I should consider becoming an admiral, I refuse. Kirk told me that I can make a difference as long as I'm in this chair, and every day I see the wisdom of his advice. I wonder how Janeway feels about being an admiral. Does she still feel like she can make a difference? Did they give her any choice, or was the promotion forced upon her? Would they force a promotion on me?
I've been told that I'm legendary, but the history books are my only hope of being remembered, once those whose lives I've directly touched are gone. There will be no family to think back and wonder, what was my great-great grandfather like?
The Bard was a man, prone to failings like any other. He did not see that love leads, because if fortune were left to lead there would be no love that sustained hardship. There would be a universe full of people like me.