THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

Chapter 1 - Especially Me

Logan bust the door open, ran through the hallway, ran through the living room, just ran. Finally reached the stairs, jumped them up, taking two with one step, ran till he reached the room he desperately wanted to reach. Pulled the door open, startled, then fell to the floor. Fell down and felt hot tears running down his cheek. No. No. Why?
He felt nothing but pain. He screamed. His heart screamed, his soul screamed, his mind screamed. Logan screamed. How? And why? Just why now? After all this!
He cried as he pulled the dead body into his arms. Hard sobs were shaking him when he looked down at the face of the corpse. Tears were dropping down his face, gently touching James' dead body.

A few days earlier

'So… It's over between you and Camille?', James asked slowly, looking at Logan who was sitting on his bed, crying a bit.
He nodded. 'I'm so sorry!', James said in a low voice. He had known Logan for ages, since they were in kindergarten, but he had never seen him cry before. Logan sobbed a bit, then took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and said: 'It's alright! I have no idea why I'm crying anyways… It's not really because of Camille… It's more because of the fact that nobody ever likes me enough to stay with me for a long time… It's all my fault…'

James hit Logan. Immediately he felt sorry, but he simply couldn't believe how stupid Logan could be sometimes.
'What the hell are you talking about? You always think it's your fault! It's never your fault! How can you even say this, how can you even think this? So of course it's all your fault that Camille is a bitch and cheated on you! Of course it's your fault that you broke up with Camille, because you walked on her kissing some weird guy! I mean, of course it's your fault, because if you've never opened the door you wouldn't know! Logan, please stop it! It's not your fault that Camille is a huge ass bitch! So shut the fuck up!'
James regret it. Why did he have to scream? Maybe just because he was angry. Angry at Logan for thinking it was his fault, angry at Camille for breaking Logan's heart, angry at himself, for still not telling Logan that he deserved so much more. And that James himself could be this so much more. Yes, James was also angry at himself, because he still didn't have the guts to tell his friend how he felt, that he loved him, loved him endlessly.

Another tear was dropping down Logan's face. He hated screaming. He never screamed at anybody and he hated to be screamed at. It hurt him.
James sighed and fell on his knees in front of Logan. 'Listen, I'm sorry! It just hurts me to see you hurt and it hurts me and it makes me so angry that you always think it's your fault! It's never your fault! Never!' James whispered it and he put a hand on Logan's cheek, wiping the tear away he had caused. 'S'alright', Logan sniffed, looking into James' eyes. 'I know you didn't mean to… It's just easy to say that for someone who has never experienced hate and who had never been rejected…'

It hurt. It hurt James twice. Yes, he had experienced hate, maybe the most hate any of the BTR band members had gotten. The difference was that he didn't show how much all this hate bothered him. He always tried to act cool about it when he was with his friends, but in reality it hurt him a lot. It hurt him so much that he cried himself to sleep some nights. James simply couldn't handle hate.
And yes, he had been rejected. Maybe not by all those meaningless girls, but he had been rejected by the love of his life, by Logan Mitchell. Logan might didn't know it, nobody might know it, but hell yes, James had been rejected since years, always by the same person, always by Logan. Just another reason why he cried at night.

James sighed, still refused to answer anything back. He simply couldn't. He couldn't tell Logan how he really felt, either way, so he just decided to ignore Logan's last sentence, instead to sit down beside of him, put his arm around his shoulder and say: 'Just know that a lot of people think that you are amazing!' He blushed and continued the sentence in his thoughts: 'Especially me!'
'Just know that a lot of people like you enough to want to spend their entire life with you!', James said and looked at Logan. 'Especially me!', he continued in his mind.
'Logan, just know that a lot of people love you!', James said. 'Especially me!', he thought.

[A/N]

Soooo? What ya think? I know the chapter was rather short... btw: The story has 4 chapters! Post the next one as soon as possible! :) Hope you like it so far! :D