This is my first Merlin. I love reading the fanfics and wanted to give it a shot. Hope you enjoy.
A Foolish Heart
It was her fault. She could blame no one, but herself. She'd followed her heart and looked were it got her, on the throne of Camelot. She wanted to blame the man beside her, tall handsome and very blond. She had caused to blame his heart, a fickle thing that waxed and waned like the moon. Maybe she should blame Lancelot, who had enticed her to her first love. He'd opened the door, and Arthur had walked right in, as bold as you please. Where was her head? She'd always been known as a sensible, practical girl and look at her now. Queen of Camelot.
Gwen sighed. Arthur turned to her, catching her slight exhale. She'd been sighing a lot lately.
"Are you tired?" He asked softly, his voice filled with concern. She lied and shook her head. It truly wasn't a lie. She'd known what being tired was when she toiled as a servant, her hands raw from scrubbing floors or washing clothes. She'd known sleepless nights, taking care of Morgana and finally Uther.
This tired came from sitting all day doing next to nothing, telling people to do things she was more than capable of doing on her own. Once, he caught her cleaning their bedchamber, and admonished her. He stated she was denying some poor servant a good wage. She promised to stop, but did it when he wasn't looking. The man refused to put his clothes away. What choice did she have?
Her weariness came from all the people she wanted to help, knowing there wasn't enough time in the day to help them all, but she tried. When he gave her coins to buy a new dress, she spent it on other things. The roof of a house in the lower town for an old neighbor, a pretty ribbon for the cook's child and extra medicine when Gaius tended to the people of lower town and outlying areas, there were so many things a gold coin could buy. She would stitch lace or embroider on an old dress and parade it in front of him as if it were new, him, oblivious of the deception.
She tired of the gossip of the court; the ladies and their whispers. Those you were truly happy for her and others who were clearly not. Nothing spoken aloud, but she was no fool. In the whispers, she often heard herself referred to as the Commoner Queen. It grew tiresome, but she held her tongue. She learnt very quickly not to give her opinion too fast or to openly. She reserved that pleasure for her husband and in the privacy of their bedchamber.
She sighed again.
Arthur, sitting on the throne next to her, looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. She suspected that he was trying to guess her mood. She smiled at him, because once again, she lost herself in that face, a face despite its capricious nature adored her. Today she decided to blame her heart, despite her weariness of court, her duties and the tightness of her bodice, because she wanted to be with him alone. Alone, behind a closed door, they were just Gwen and Arthur, husband and wife.
In the darkness, he'd scolded her on her forays into the lower town walking alone and unguarded. She'd scold him on his treatment of Merlin. A man he still wouldn't openly admit was his dearest friend. In the comfort of their bed, skin upon skin, he would tell her how he blamed her for capturing his heart. Hearts are to blame she said, they are always to blame.
"There must be someone to blame for this," Arthur said sternly, breaking her from her reverie. She took noticed of the two men before them, each claiming some grievance toward the other. The day was waning, and the weariness crept up on her again as she struggled to suppress a yawn. The discussion had gone around in circles for over an hour. What little she could understand the disagreement had to do with tainted water. Long standing friends and neighborhood had come to blows over it. She longed for a quiet meal with her husband and a soft bed. Instead, she got the severe looking faces of serious men debating a serious problem.
She sighed again, this time she didn't care who heard her. All that heard did turn in her direction. Arthur, who had insisted she join him at these meetings, didn't look happy. When he was gone from Camelot, she was to rule in his absence, and she needed to learn. All she had learned so far, that people will argue over everything.
"Madame," he sighed impatiently.
She smiled at her husband and at the knights, and courtiers and the two men in debate and stood up from her throne. She clasped her hands together and took the few steps she needed to face the two men. She nodded to them politely; giving them more deference than most royals would ever give. They nodded back, confused as what else to do.
"If you are tired milady, best you retire?" Arthur said tightly, obviously confused by his wife's action. This time it was her turn to cock an eyebrow up at him.
"No my dear, I only tire of the argument that has gone on and on without results," she said with equal patience to her husband.
"That is because he is wrong," one man said angrily.
"No he is?" said the other.
She stared at these once good friends and their current state of affairs.
"You are both wrong," she said. She heard someone snicker, and she scanned the small crowd beyond the men, lords and ladies, knights and councilmen. They all judged her. She hoped they wanted her to be a good queen. She knew she should sit down and let Arthur deal with this, but her patience was gone. "And you're both right?"
The men looked confused. Arthur was both confused and slightly irritated.
"Milady…" Arthur began, but she held up a hand to stop him.
"May I try to resolve the issue for all our sakes," she pleaded. He reluctantly nodded.
"You are all orchard, yes?" She said to one man, who obviously came dressed in his best clothes. "You are cattle and goats. Each used the same stream to irrigate your fields and water your animals. This is correct?"
They nodded.
"Each of you claims after years of cooperation, one of you has tainted the water. It is killing your fruit and making your livestock ill. What has changed? You have the same orchard and your stock as not doubled in size, has it not?"
They both shook their head.
"Well then there must be a third answer," she said, and she could tell they were beginning to contemplate this. The man with the orchard shook his head.
"There is nothing else," he demanded.
Gwen shook her head, disappointed in the man shortsightedness.
"Why is it that men refuse to look beyond their nose, beyond the orchards and the tail of a goat?" She asked them with some frustration.
"Milady, I have no answer," the stockman said apologetically.
"Maybe there is no answer," Arthur said solemnly.
"Usually my lord, there is. Considering when I was in the lower town the other day at the market, I noticed a new stand. I admired his copper wares. I asked him where he had the items made, and he said locally. This surprised me because we often traded with a southern kingdom for such goods. They are known for copper and iron mines. He dutifully informed me, that a new mine had opened in Camelot, in the hills to the east. Below those hills, lay your homesteads, am I not correct?" Gwen said. She left to two men and returned to her seat and stare out amongst the gathering of men, one of which was Gaius.
"Gaius, would the run off from such a mine poison a stream or a well?" she asked
"Indeed your majesty, it's very likely harmful to people as well," he said knowingly.
"Arthur, I'm sure if you sent your knights to speak to this new mine owner about dumping his run off into the stream, he'd stop, don't you think?" she said. "I think you should send Percival."
Slightly dumbfounded, Arthur nodded.
"Yes I'll do that," Arthur finally said as he regained his wits. He concluded the meeting quickly with a promise the mine would shut down. As a gesture to soothe the men's broken friendship, he reassured the men compensation from the mine owner for their damages. Their friendship would have to mend on their own.
"Thank you, your majesty," both men said. Each man turned to Gwen and bowed low, and respectfully.
"Thank you your majesty for your wise council," one man said before they left. She smiled at them, happy the ordeal was over, and the men seemed cordial toward one another once again.
When the throne room was nearly empty, and Arthur was giving instruction to his knights, the weariness came over her again.
"Well done, milady," Gaius said joining her.
Gwen shook her head, annoyed that Gaius refused to call her by her given name in public since she'd been crowned. He waved her disapproval off.
She covered a yawn with her hand.
"Tired?" He asked as they both watched her husband.
She shrugged but then shook her head.
"I tell myself, I should say little and hold my tongue. In time, they would have figured it out. I see when I give my opinion some in the court cringed, one for being a woman and a commoner at that. I should listen to my head, but my heart gets in the way," Gwen lamented.
"You are a good Queen," Gaius insisted.
"It just seemed like they were good neighbors and for such a thing to tear them apart. It was an easy answer. It was just taking so long," she complained but smiled.
"You should follow your heart more often," Gaius tensed.
"Oh, I do and look at where it's landed me. On a chair that makes my bottom sore, telling ordinary folks how to live their lives," she complained without much sincerity.
"I will get you a cushion," a firm voice said from behind her. She turned to see her smiling husband, done with his conversation with his knights. She kissed him gently on the cheek. He took her hand.
"You are a wise King Arthur Pendragon," she mused.
"Let us have supper and retire. You can tell me how wise and wonderful I am," Arthur teased and pulled her close to him. She stared up into his eyes, so blue they reminded her of the sky. She felt herself getting lost again. As he pressed her close, Gaius slipped away, leaving them alone. Arthur took the opportunity to kiss her, deeply. As they came together, she felt the beating of her own heart, strong and fierce. It would not be ignored, so she didn't. She fell into the kiss.
I am lost as she felt his heart beat with hers and there nothing to be done.