Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Brangelena, Brad Pitt, Pride and Prejudice or Angelina Jolie
Believe it or not I was not watching or reading anything entertainment news-wise to give me this idea. Nor was I intoxicated in any form. I'm not sure which is more surprising in regards to this story.
PcychIpath
Edward's POV
It was a sunny day and everyone was out hunting. Everyone but Alice and I that is who were sitting on one of the long couches facing our HD flatscreen television. It was on some entertainment news show so I wasn't really paying attention but instead replaying a memory of Bella and I having a playful debate over what movie version Pride and Prejudice was best. It therefore startled me (not an easy thing to do) when Alice cried out "Brangelina!"
"…Er… Alice why did you say that?"
"Because I have decided we need a couple name too."
I looked at her incredulously "Alice we aren't a couple."
"I know but I still want one" she said with the pout that said there was no use arguing.
I sighed and gave in saying "our options aren't that good Alice. We either have Alward or Edlice… not the most wonderful terms in the world."
She frowned and admitted "you're right." I had just begun to believe she had given up when she said "I guess we have to deviate from the Brangelina way then." and began tossing options around in her head… of course. About 10 minutes (and over 1,000 options in her head) later she said in a firm voice. "I've decided we are… PsychIpath!"
"Psychopath?" I wondered of she wasn't psychopath.
"No. PsychIpath A/N: (pronounced "syk – IH – path" NOT "syk – OH – path") You know: psychic and telepath."
I had to admit it did sound pretty cool. However there was one flaw: "you do realize, Alice, that Jasper is an emPATH right?"
Yet again she frowned and cursed under her breath. With a resolved sigh she said "Well Japer and I can still be Jalice."
I couldn't blame her for not picking Asper.
"So…" I mused "that makes Emmett and Rosalie's options Rosamett or Emmalie." I snickered realizing both sounded feminine which would kill Emmett. Alice's thoughts mirrored my own and she let out a tinkling laugh.
When she had calmed down enough to talk she mused "Carlisle and Esme's options are Carlme and Eslisle."
"They have the best options" I pointed out and she nodded in agreement. "Personally would pick Eslisle it sounds better."
"That leaves you and Bella with Edlla and-"
She was cut off by a booming yell that rattled the furniture of "BEDWARD!"
I flinched realizing how much ammo that just gave Emmett and Alice looked at me apologetically. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention either or I would have warned you. I knew she was telling the truth even without the mental confirmation since we often covered each other's backs. Out of all of the sibling relationships Alice and mine's was by far the strongest. If anyone other than her or Bella had suggested something stupid like couple names I would have yelled at them and not gone along with it.
"So… Bedward… what brought this on?" Emmett snickered.
"Alice decided even though we aren't a couple we need a couple name: PsychIpath."
"Psychopath… yup sounds fitting." Emmett snickered louder.
"It's PsychIpath!" Alice snapped. "Psychic and telepath combined. Jazz sweetie I know you're an empath but Jalice is much nicer than Alward or Edlice."
"Oh Emmett… you do realize your options with Rosalie are Emmalie or Rosamett right?" I taunted in a sing-song voice and he stopped laughing.
Aw hell no! He thought in despair and glared at me only to turn begging to Rosalie "PleasepleasePLEASE pick Rosammett! It sounds a little more manly right?!"
The entire family cracked up at that… well except for him anyway.
"I suppose Esme and I have Carlme or Eslisle. I prefer the sound of Eslise what about you dear?" Carlisle asked tenderly.
"I like that too."
I then heard the sound of my watch alarm going off signaling I could stop by Bella's. "Bye guys, I have to go."
"Later… Bedward." Emmett guffawed and I heard a smack.
As I got out of hearing range I heard Alice threaten "don't make me go PsychIpath!"