The Dance by Julie Ann Pope
The mess hall was awash with Voyager's crew in formal dress and their guests in their native dress. Glasses chimed together in celebration, music varied from contemporary to classic in both races and the room buzzed with auspicious conversation. Neelix had decorated the mess hall with warm lilac tablecloths and blue lighting. A dance floor had been erected in the centre and a table was piled high with fresh food from the home planet and of course replicated food for the less adventurous. The counter was used as a bar, which was propped up by a fed up Commander Chakotay. He held the remnants of a glass of synthahol in his hand. He stared at the elegantly dressed Captain enjoying herself at the food table. She walked across to the dance floor where she was met by one of the representatives of the other race. Her long flowing dress brushed the ground gracefully as she walked. Chakotay was only observing, but his heart began to race when he noticed the laughter that was emanating from the two leaders. Then he was even more enraged when they began to dance. She chatted away to him, smiling broadly to give the right impressions of Earth culture. If he was honest with himself, he was jealous. He wanted to be with her, holding her body next to his, feeling her breath on his face, looking at every feature of her face, that was being highlighted by the romantic lighting. Though he would never tell her the truth about his feelings, he had tried several times in the past to let her know that he felt more than respect and friendship for her. Tom had finished mingling and was now waiting for B'Elanna to arrive. He noticed Chakotay at the bar and had seen that he was not quite himself. Tom walked over, observing Chakotay's gaze as he did so. He had sussed a long time ago that Chakotay was in love with the Captain. "She does look beautiful tonight, doesn't she?" Tom asked Chakotay who, in his wonderment, had been oblivious to what was going on around him. "Huh...?" was the muffled and half hearted reply "The Captain..." "Oh, yeah" By now Tom had his attention. He really had no idea what to say to Chakotay. "Y'know, I think that she feels the same way. It's noticeable if you're looking for it, the way she is with you on the bridge and what about those "meetings" in her ready room?" "But she has never and probably will never..." Chakotay was interrupted mid-speech by Tom. "Just look at her will you? Underneath that happy Captain's face and that uniform she's just another lonely woman, who needs you, Chakotay, she needs you." Chakotay glanced back over to her and caught her eye with a smile. She responded with a warm, charming smile back. Chakotay turned back to face Tom, who finished his previous sentence for him " ...notice you?" By this time, Janeway had stopped dancing and had moved closer towards the two men. She stood directly behind Chakotay. "Do you mind if I steal him away from you?" she asked Tom about Chakotay. "Be my guest" was the reply. Chakotay stood up and took her right hand. He led her to the dance floor. They joined hands and began to dance. Janeway looked into Chakotay's eyes as he looked back with a smile. The dance was fast with a friendly atmosphere about it. Both were nervous because for some reason it wasn't as platonic as they imagined. As they stared longer and deeper at each other the dance slowed to a sensual, comfortable and relaxed movement. Only this moment and each other were important, it felt like they were the only ones in the room. Janeway removed her right hand and placed it around Chakotay's waist. She moved her head so that it rested on his chest and closed her eyes. Chakotay wrapped his arms around the back of her and held her body firm. They were as close as they could possibly be. They eventually stopped dancing altogether and stood still at the side of the dance floor, holding each other. The two of them were in one of the most intimate moments that they had ever had to chance to find themselves in and were left to enjoy it alone. Several minutes passed and Chakotay began to wonder if Janeway had fallen asleep. He placed his hand on the back of her head and stroked her silky hair. She looked up at him and they both nodded. He took her by the hand and led her out of the mess hall, smiling to Tom as he did so. They walked up the corridor to the turbolift without a word or glance. The authoritative Captain walked in to the turbolift first, staring straight past the Commander. Chakotay could see that in her eyes was the humanitarian, the passionate and tender woman, who was confused about her feelings. Chakotay knew, for he was feeling the same. Both adults stared ahead, no word was spoken. Janeway then realised that in their contemplation neither had actually started the turbolift and told it where to stop. She commanded the lift to stop on the deck where her quarters were. After she had said something, broken the ice, Chakotay now felt that he was free to talk. He tried to build up the courage. At first he turned to her and stared blankly. She felt his gaze and turned to stare at him back. He opened his mouth, stammered a little and then the words began to flow out. "I...I...I'd like to thank you for accompanying me on the dance floor this evening." After a few seconds of her blank, stern look she smiled. Slowly but surely the smile beamed with love and her eyes glistened in the beam. She already knew that he was thankful for the dance, she knew a lot more too. They both turned back to the front and continued the rest of their journey in silence, but with knowing smiles. Once Janeway had reached her quarters she was not nervous, and she felt it appropriate, to ask Chakotay in for a coffee. He asked if she was sure. "Of course, it's not late and I'm not tired." "I'd be delighted to." both gave a sigh of a laugh. They entered her dark quarters, Janeway first, Chakotay nervously behind. It wasn't the first time that he had been nervous around the Captain. He was her friend as well as First Officer and if she ever needed his advice, comfort or just to chat then he was there. Like when Mark had informed her that he had found someone else, she confided in him. He wasn't happy that it had ended, he never liked to see her hurt, but he felt guilty that he was also pleased because they could work on a more intimate relationship between the two of them. She needed comfort from a friend and all the while he had strong feelings for her. He had become troubled by the strength of his feelings, every time she walked into a room, every time she called his name he felt warm and intimate sensations travel all over his body and soul. The room was only lit by the proud stars glistening outside her window, inside the furniture, objects and herself were covered in a midnight blue blanket. The doors shut behind Chakotay, who was left standing in awe of where he was. He had been in Janeway's quarters before, so many times that it felt as familiar as his own. However this time it was different. Janeway walked to the window, pulled off her heeled shoes and took out the heavy clips that kept her hair in place. She shook her hair from the stiffness of it's position. Chakotay watched as the dark outline of her body by the window perfectly highlighted her curves and features. She turned to Chakotay. "Would you help me...?" she indicated her uniform. Chakotay walked over to her, smiling neutrally. She moved her head to the side while he un-clipped the top of her uniform. He un zipped the rest of the jacket, slowly. She turned her head back and pulled the garment from her body. Underneath she wore her blue long-sleeved top. It hugged her figure gently but enchantingly. She threw it onto the couch. She turned to face Chakotay. She smiled lovingly, confused, happy, and apprehensive at the same time. She placed her left hand on his cheek and patted it affectionately. Her hand travelled down to his chest, along with her eyes. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing, her hands began to shake and she tingled with coldness as her nerves took over her body. Chakotay took the lead. He slotted his left hand behind her right ear and she was forced to look up at him. She held the back of his neck and pulled him close to her. She leaned in closer and they kissed, with love and passion. It wasn't erotic, but sensual and with relief. They only met lips three or four times, but it was enough. Janeway became self-conscious and broke off the kiss sharply. She walked over to the other end of the room and turned her back to Chakotay. He buried his head in his hands and sat on the couch. After a minute or two he got up and made his way to Janeway. He touched her shoulder and she shrugged it off. "Kathryn..." he called to her several times with no response. "Chakotay...I love you, I'm in love with you..." Janeway turned slowly to face Chakotay. She had been crying, the tears ran down her cheeks and stained her top. Chakotay wiped them away from her face. They tried again. This time the kiss was more than passionate. They kissed for several minutes, then they hugged. Janeway smiled contentedly over his shoulder, while he smiled with relief over her shoulder. At last they had acknowledged their feelings for each other. written - august 1999