Disclaimer: I do NOT own the song nor Merlin (unfortunately)
AN: This is a challenge fic I did with LoveWithoutLimits there are 8 more songs to follow. She cant remember what the challenge was called but we put our playlists on shuffle and picked the first five songs it gave us each and then we both had to write a fic for it.
AN2: This was from LoveWithoutLimits so check out hers as well
AN3: Check out Infatuation
Warnings: Slash, very very very weak implied slash (squinting needed) ANGST! LOVELY ANGST! Please dont kill me *whimpers* if you do i cant give u loads of nice fics or finish Nothing Out Of The Ordinary or any of the others
Song: The Fray – How to save a life
"Merlin what is wrong?" Merlin looked up at the worried voice and saw Arthur watching him from his perch near the window
"Nothing sire, I'm fine" You are a terrible liar Merlin, Arthur thought watching his servant and who he thought was a friend.
It started months ago, but maybe if he had been a better friend he could have stopped it.
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
They had sat down, spoke, but Merlin was holding back and Arthur just did not see it. Maybe if he had he could have been quicker to save him. The Prince put his head in his hands squeezing his eyes shut. Half of him, his head, told him he should be scared and fearing the outcome. The other half, his heart, told him that he should be blaming himself. If he had paid more attention, if he had known better. However here he sat not sure where he was but he had a feeling he was in the middle, fearing the consequences and the blaming his past self.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
"Merlin! Stop lying to me! I know you! I know something is bothering you! You are not your normal, cheerful, idiotic self. You have not had that stupid grin nor have you spoken out about the unfairness and cruelty of the deaths my father has carried out! This is not you!"
"I am fine, Sire you do not have to worry" Arthur growled and stormed out the room
"Please let him listen" Arthur whispered as he looked out over the battlements.
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Arthur closed his eyes there last talk had not been a talk at all. Merlin had lost it and shouted at him that he did not care, he could not care. He had done only what he knew. He had spoken calmly even though his heart was in his throat.
He had wondered why he had even tried to bother. Merlin had just turned around and shouted that he was fine he just was not the same Merlin; he had never been that Merlin. The Merlin that took orders without comment, who hid himself. He was just not the same Merlin.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
Merlin had stormed out in the middle of the argument that followed. His words still rang in Arthurs ears. Do NOT ever talk to me again Arthur Pendragon, you are not my friend. It had hurt and shocked Arthur, not that he would admit it to anyone but Merlin, and he wanted him to come back, he should have ran after Merlin and made him see the truth. Maybe if he had done that Merlin would still be with him, cleaning his chambers, ruining his hunts, talking back, being cheeky, being Merlin and making Arthur smile and laugh against his will as he tried to ignore the feelings Merlin brought out in him.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
He should have followed, he should have made Merlin talk or at least let him lean on him and sit there thinking. He should have done something.
Arthur looked up as Gaius walked back into the physicians chambers. The older man looked at him and gave him a sad smile putting a hand on Arthur's shoulder.
"Sire, please go sleep"
"I can't leave him again." Arthur rubbed the hand in his ignoring that fact that he had long ago stopped feeling the heat of Merlin.
"Sire" Gaius crouched and gently pushed his hair back looking into blood shot red puffy eyes. "He's gone Arthur." The Prince gave a sob leaning into the warm hand and his tears fell on Merlin's pale blue tinged face.
"My fault, I didn't know what to do" Gaius looked at the blood stained hands of the prince and sighed, Merlin had no idea what he had done.
How to save a life
Arthur had failed.
Sooooooo what ya think?