I know I should be doing homework and writing papers or at least writing the stories that you all know and love but this was in my head since I talked to Linda and I had to write it so I could share the comedy with you all.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto if I did I would know where Sasuke is right now.
Linda and I were talking on the phone and this popped into my head, some of it was Linda's idea. Basically it is a story about a Tea party in heaving with all the dead, important, Naruto characters. There are spoilers from the most recent Manga chapters so beware.
Tea Party of the Dead
First I would like to point out, even though it has nothing to do with this story at all, that Iāduring some odd stroke of genius, have figured out why Sasuke wore the not-shirt shirt. Sasuke's first outfit as a child was a black jumpsuit thing. His second outfit had a really big shirt. His third outfit was the infamous black jump suit that I still can not figure out how he puts it on or off. After his first three outfits which were so hard to take off or very large he gladly accepted his not-shirt from Orochimaru. It wasn't until he was molested by fangirls, coughKarincough, that he opted for add a zipper. The zipper option, which now includes Akatsuki cloak, allows for him to take it off easy and keep the fangirl at bay.
It was a bright sunny day in heaven...of course it was stupid it always is, it's heaven. Anyways it was a nice day, like usual, in heaven when the dead Naruto characters were forced to have a tea party. Why? Because I said so and as the author my word is law.
At this tea party there was the nearly forgotten, due to their early untimely demise in the beginning of the series, Haku and Zabuza. They got to sit at the 'actually good people even though they were trying to kill the good people' table.
"We had such a lovely death, there was snow..." Haku boasted because what else are people in heaven going to do other than boast about their deaths?
"Well it rained dramatically at my funeral." Sarutobi aka the third Hokage pointed out from his table which had a sign 'reserved for Hokages' on it. "And all the leaf ninja attended, many cried." (The sad thing is during our conversation neither Linda or I mentioned him)
"Well I got to fall into water when I died." Jiraya pointed out siting in his table that was for perverts only. "Most of the time when people fall into water they randomly come back to life, but not me I stayed dead but I made some people wonder."
"I almost killed Gaara before I died." Kimimaro spoke up from his seat next to Haku.
"I helped kill Gaara before I died." Sasori said appearing there...wait he was not a good person. He wasn't secretly a good person last I checked. Oh well I'll let it go because I like him.
"I went out with a Bang!" Deidara said also sneaking into the tea party.
"Naruto killed me." Kakuzu said appearing and kicking some unimportant good Naruto character out of their seat.
"I'm not even really dead, my head is still alive buried." Hidan said.
"Wait I have to comment about this how are you here then?" The narrator asked unable to let that one go.
"Not sure exactly." Hidan answered sipping his-some-one-else's tea.
"I am also not really dead." Gaara said from his table that was reserved for people whose attitudes were changed completely by Naruto.
"I think I am dead, but they just kind of mentioned it and then went on with the story." Shizune said unsure. In response to her I shrug because honestly I don't know either.
"Well I'm not dead I live on in Kabuto." Orochimaru said also invading the peacefulness of heaven. Seriously how are they all getting up here?
"Well I got to poke Sasuke in the forehead before he killed me did anyone else do that?" Itachi asked smugly.
"No." everyone else said knowing that Itachi had won.
"Well I wasn't killed I was stolen." Kakashi said smirking. No one else could say a thing to that. The fact that Kakashi was indeed stolen had won and their tea party was over causing those who were still living to return and those that were not supposed to be there to go back...The End
If you go to chapter 435 of Naruto and look on the side of the first page it says: 'He had killed Jiraya, stolen Kakashi, and destroyed Konoha'
