Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 or any of its characters. I have no legal rights to Square Enix.

Still sick and delusional from this heavy fever… spur of a moment thing. Enjoy?

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My eyes wandered to my slightly disfigured hand, stopping only for a moment to remember the pain that came with these battle scars. I remember glass shards, and I remember tears… Hyne, what did I do?

I think it all started when I found her in our tree, the tree we had found that day in mid-August during a picnic. Maybe I shouldn't call it our tree; after all, we're not a couple or anything. Though... I sometimes wish we were... more like all the time… but Selphie loves Irvine and nothing I can do about that. So I found her there, sitting on one of the tallest branches. At first, I thought she was just admiring how beautiful the sky was that day but her eyes told me different.

I had never seen her like that, not in a million years, and the first thing that popped in my mind was just... "What did that bastard Irvine do now?" I knew I didn't really mean that but I just couldn't help myself from knowing that Irvine had upset her.

"So Selphie, whacha doin' up there for? Come down!" I yelled across the yard, turning a few heads but I didn't care. They could look at me all they wanted; all I cared about was Selphie.

"Zell...!" I heard her voice trail as she spoke my name, it wasn't very inviting. It seemed almost... disappointed.

"Come on! You okay?" I threw myself onto a branch and moved closer to her. I could see that she needed some space so I stopped and watched as the dark autumn leaves shivered softy in my presence. "You look... upset?"

"I'm fine. Just doin' some thinkin'..." I hate it when she tries to lie to me. She knows she's not very good at it either.

"Are you sure? Anything you wanna tell me?" I inched closer to look at her face, was it normal for her to look this way? Of course not. Selphie is hyperactive, annoying, bouncy, fun, sweet, loving... beautiful... She always has a smile on her face, no matter what... I almost fell off our tree when I saw the look on her face. Wait a minute, was she crying?

"Not sure if you'd want to hear about it." She flashed me a ghostly smile, it was truly haunting. I couldn't let it go, how could a ball of sunshine lose its light?

"Tell me! But only if it's not about your period or something." I joked, trying to cheer her up. I was glad that it had been enough to get her to giggle. How I loved that laughter and how innocent yet mischievous it could be... how I knew that every time she laughed, it was genuine happiness.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just Irvine." I knew it. Well, wasn't that just predictable? Not really... Selphie always seemed so happy around him. But 'Irvine'? When was the last time I heard her call him anything other than Irvy? He must have done something upsetting to her…

"What happened?" I tilted my head and frowned at her. She fell silent for a while, and that's when a notion jolted in my head. He didn't hit her did he? No way, no way could he have hit her. I'd kill him if he did… but then again, I'd kill him for just upsetting her anyway.

"I just caught him flirting around with a couple of girls..." She sighed. "Again..." Hyne, what'd she mean by 'again'? I thought Irvine was being loyal for once!

A feeling swept over my body, I think it was more anger than curiosity when I asked, "Again?"

"Yea, he did it a few times before but I never really let it get to me. He'd always just tell me that it was nothing but this time, I'm not so sure if I want to forgive him." Figures, I knew Irvine was no good; always prancing around like a ladies' man, flirting and talking... and giving that ridiculous look I had always hated...but was he really as bad as I pictured him to be? ... Maybe I'm just jealous... just a little bit... or just a lot.

"Then... just do whatever you want to do!" I would have told her to leave him right there and then but I wasn't sure if that's what she really wanted. And when it came down to it all, what she wants is all I ever want to give her.

"I don't know what I want..." She picked a leaf off the tree and studied it pensively.

"..." I really didn't know what to say next, should I- Can I tell her to leave him? Leave him forever and come with me? No... she would never do that. I drew on a smile and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "How can I get you to cheer up? I'll do anything! I promise!" I punched the air and winked at her. I hoped she liked that, at least she giggled again.

"You can bruise Irvine up a little bit." Selphie joked with an angry smirk on her face. If only she wasn't kidding about that, I really wouldn't mind bashing a few teeth into his mouth right about then. That's when I noticed that stupid cowboy making his appearance into the garden. "Speaking of which..." She turned her face, hoping to hide from Irvine. I took my place in front of her and tried to shield her from his wandering eyes.

"Selphie! Babe, come out!" I cringed at what he had just called Selphie, 'Babe'... like some kind of girl you'd pick up at a pub. She wasn't a 'babe'... she was an angel. An angel with her beautiful light skin, sweet chocolate hair, smiles that could turn Diablo into a pile of chocobo feathers, and those eyes... I stared at the beauty before me, hoping that she would turn so I could see her emerald orbs again. "Ah, there you are." Irvine's voice caused my thoughts of love to shatter as he found us in our little hiding spot.

"Hey... Irvine." I turned, trying hard not to sound cruel.

"Zell, do me a favor and get her out of that tree? I've got some stuff to talk to her about." The look on his face made me want to throw up all over him. It didn't even seem like he cared!

Selphie looked at me disapprovingly; I knew she didn't want to come down. "She doesn't want to." I held onto the branch and hid the petite girl behind me again.

"Aw come on, babe." There it was again. I gripped the branch to hold myself from pouncing on him. "Why do you always gotta do that?" What the hell was his problem? Why can't he just leave? Every sentence he spoke made me want to beat him to a pulp. I knew I should have controlled myself, I really thought I knew better but something took over me that day. Jealousy, love, disgust... all that jazz. "You know I love you." He didn't mean it; he didn't even look like he meant it. Why would he even want to keep her if he didn't love her? To keep her like a trophy? Or did he know that I had loved her my entire life and he just wanted me to hurt?

"Leave her alone, man. She doesn't want to talk to you. Just leave already! Can't you take a hint?" I exploded.

"This is none of your business!" I could see that he was getting angry too, which aggravated me even more. "Selphie is mine, so you leave her alone!" It's been a while since I've seen him this angry, and it's been a while since I've been like this as well. My blood was pumping and my teeth were gritting against each other so terribly hard I was sure even Selphie could have heard it. I could feel the blood pumping wildly inside my palms as I clenched my fists, aching to rip that disgusting smirk off Irvine's face.

The next thing I knew... my feet were storming towards Irvine and my fists were swinging. I was in a daze, I didn't even realize that I was punching him over and over until I found myself in a fist fight with one of my best friends...or maybe... ex-best friend. My senses never really came through once I realized how much I had hated Irvine for stealing Selphie... my Selphie. We punched and kicked as we rolled against the hard ground, almost like little children fighting during recess.

I spotted Selphie on the ground, screaming for us to stop. I think she was crying again... and because of me. I immediately stopped my fists and legs from their violent thrusting but Irvine continued on with his attacks and pushed my arm right through a window, breaking glass all over the floor. I flinched and held my fist in a useless effort to stop the sharp pains as I watched Irvine back away from me, stutter, and run away. I was left by the window, shattered...like the horrible mess around me. This was all my fault.

I looked down at my hand, hopelessly bleeding with jagged glass splintered in my skin. It was so stupid of me to start that fight with Irvine, what was I thinking? I looked around to see that the garden was empty; they must have left after seeing Irvine break that window. At least Selphie was still there... looking at me... with those eyes... Disapproving eyes... Disappointed eyes... I bit my lips, a grown man can't be caught crying after a fight... he'd just look... weak. So I stood up and walked to her but she drew back as if I was some kind of monster... I probably was.

I couldn't stand it! It was the worst feeling in the world; pain pierced my chest as I watched her swallow her tears, unable to look at me. I offered my apology in tears and blood; it was all that I could do. I just stood there in front of her, with salty tears washing the dirt and sweat from my face as I held her hand in my bloody palm. I loved her so much but she didn't even know it. And now, my actions might have marred our friendship forever.

There was that moment of silence where we simply stared at each other... it was unbearable. I finally stopped my undignified sobs and parted my trembling lips to whisper to her. "I love you, Selphie." She didn't seem a bit surprised or bothered, was that a good thing? Or maybe she couldn't hear me...but she looked into my sorry face and gave me a smile. I think a small chuckle too... just a small one... Finally, my lips began to curl into a smile of their own.

She took my injured hand and frowned at the mess. It was still and cold in the empty garden that autumn day but it was all fine the way it was as we sat down together and she helped remove the broken glass. Each moment passed with agonizing relief like every little sliver she plucked from my hand.

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The End. I hope you liked it. I kinda liked writing it. I really started this fanfic like a sweet ol' fluff story but i ended up with lots of angst and w/e in between so fleh. I lived with it.

SORRY if Zell came out OOC, -shrugs- hey. Love does stuff to ya. And plus, who knows what does through that hunky head of his? He could be some intelligent romantic love machine behind all that gel and wild hair. :)

So, tell me. Loved it? Hated it? Tell me aaallll about it. Review please!