Disclaimer: No, these characters aren't mine -whatsoever-. They belong to the glorious and prolific writer, Stephenie Meyer. Though...I did give the waitress more of a personality I hope.

It was all a normal night at the restaurant I worked at, La Bella Italiana. Then...he happened. Oh, the gloriousness of his eyes, his hair, the grace with which he strode across the room...He was towing this plain, mediocre girl that was way less pretty than me, but he was so absorbed in her. It was freaky. I walked slowly out of the kitchen to take their orders.

"Hello. My name is Amber, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" I spoke only to the tall, bronze-haired wonder, who only looked at the girl.

"I'll have a Coke," she said, obviously consumed by his gaze.

"I'll be right back with that," I said, flashing the guy a totally winning smile, but of course, he was still looking at the girl.

Bella's Pov:

Oh. My. Gosh. Edward. Cullen...was sitting in front of me! It was a relief that the waitress had left. Unfortunately, she came back with my Coke, plus a basket of breadsticks. Ooh, was she icy towards me.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to eat?" she asked, still looking at Edward. Again.

Edward said my name, indicating that I was to figure out what I wanted to eat.

"Um, the mushroom ravioli, I guess."

"How about you?" The fact that Ally or whatever her name was kept blowing me off to look at Edward never escaped my notice, though i could hardly blame her.

"I'm not hungry," Edward said, handing her back the menu. The waitress told him to let her know if he decided he wanted something and left.

"What is wrong with you? You never eat! God, do you even know how annoying that gets? Jeez, I'll just sit here and look like a LARD! while you pose there in all your...your Edwardness, and get FAT!" I exclaimed. Did he know how much that drove me crazy?

"Sorry...," he muttered.

Waitress's Pov:

While I was waiting for the girl's food to be done, I was peeking out the kitchen window, spying on the couple. Wait-what was this? The girl--Bella, as I recalled--was getting mad at the guy! Oh, this was too good! Maybe she'd dump him, and he'd be so hurt that he'd come to me! Yes, yes, and I'd console him, and he'd realize how much he loved me and confess his feelings for me, and then we'd fall in love, and he'd propose to me! And...yes, this was all falling into place...I rubbed my hands together in delight.

"Hey, Amber, I got your order here," the cook called to me. I walked swiftly over and took the plate, bringing it out to the gorgeous guy's table, and walking into a heated conversation.

"...besides, if you don't eat, people will think you're like, annorexic or something!" the girl was saying.

"I don't care what people think. I'm not annorexic. I'm just not hungry," the beautiful being was saying. He was annoyed, now. And had his eyes changed color? They looked darker. Maybe it was just the shadow from his glare, or I was delusional.

"Um, here's your food..." I said cautiously, setting the plate dow in front of his girlfriend. I backed slowly away, not caring whether they acknowledged me or not. I just had to watch this arguement from my peephole in the kitchen.

I was astonished at what I saw: the girl, Bella, grabbed a fistful of ravioli and leapt across the table to attack him with it. His lips were pressed tight, and either he was exceptionally strong, or the girl was pretty weak, because he was holding her back with just one hand. She was struggling against his grip, but she was pretty tenacious.

"Eat the freakin food! Eat it!" Bella was screaming, still clutching the ravioli in her fist. The guy opened his mouth to say something, and she took that opportunity to thrust her arms forward, shoving the food down his throat. He began spluttering. "Eat! The! Food, Edward!!!" she shrieked maniacally, her hand still forcing fistfuls of ravioli into his mouth. "You annorexic beast, eat it!" And with a final shove of her fingers, she relaxed and slid back across the table to behold her success. I nodded...so Edward was his name, was it? Wow. Fancy. My glee at knowing his name was replaced with sudden gloom when I noticed that Edward, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, wasn't breathing. I ran out to their table, glaring at the girl.

"He's not dead, you know...," she said, smiling deviously at me. "He just looks dead. Really, he's faking. Watch." I obeyed her, stunned, while she leaned across the table and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Suddenly, Edward jerked as if he had been shocked, and began breathing-slowly-again. I shook my head in amazement.

"We'll take the check now," he said, throwing a near-murderous glare at his insane girlfriend. I looked back and forth at both of them, then sprinted to retrieve my little leather folder wit hthe receipt in it. I ran with the same speed back to where they sat. The guy tucked a bill into the book, got up, seizing Bella's hand, and walked out, practically dragging her behind him.

Alright, Bella, I finished it for you. Does it not rock or what?

And to the people that have read this who aren't my friend Bella, um...this is more or less an inside joke that is officially made into a fanfic by moi!