Summary: Arco!27 attends a church service because Tsuna has been feeling particularly motivated lately. The reactions of his fellow Arcobaleno may or may not be an added bonus.
Story Background: Tsuna ends up as the Arcobaleno's Sky and they live in a quaint little house somewhere in Italy, with a very conveniently placed forest as their backyard. They get along well enough with each other, and if the neighbors noticed beds of loose soil and an increase of six foot deep holes specifically behind the odd family's house during their morning walks, it's none of their business. They figured the trees could use a little extra nutrition now and then, anyway.
.
"Tsuna, I know that the prank we pulled on Ivicho a few weeks ago wasn't exactly a good idea, but I swear it was only in the spirit of things and honestly, he had it coming."
The young Sky shoots Reborn a look through the car's rear view mirror, and waits for a snickering Skull to pull them into a vacant parking lot before turning to face the hitman completely, ignoring the feigned look of innocence on his Sun's face. "You do realise," he starts slowly, eyebrow raising. "That the Vatican has increased the number of priests, exorcists and mercenaries being sent to our doorstep since then." Tsuna doesn't know how, but Reborn succeeds in looking more innocent than ever. That doesnt work on Tsuna, however, because the manic glint in those eyes shine just a little too brightly. "And that 'prank' that you, Colonello and Verde pulled has caused Ivicho to attend compulsory therapy sessions scheduled by court to last months into the next year."
They're suddenly reminded that it was only currently the middle of March. Viper almost looks impressed.
"Not gonna lie, it was totally deserved, kora."
"You three literally pretended to be his dead relatives come to life," deadpans Tsuna, eyeing his giggling friends. "And wired all his calls to Leon to feed him false information about empty caskets and vengeful letters left behind in the morgue for three days."
"To be fair, you could count that as a team-bonding experience for them." Lal shrugs at the incredulous look Tsuna gives her. "What can I say? It was executed well. Sue me."
"It's true," chirps Fon, who was leaning on a very smug Verde. "It was impressive, especially when-"
"The point is," stresses the brunette, and they can all hear the exasperation in his voice now, "We've only been here for two months, and we've already gotten so much attention from the Vatican. Not to mention the visits and calls I'd received from the local police and parents respectively, and I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel like moving again so soon because I'm actually rather attached to those camillas in our backyard. And so I want to, at the very least, show the Vatican that we're capable of some sort of moral obligation, and that we do have some sort of moral compass while we're at it. The easiest way to do that for now is to go to church every once in a while and since I'm not the one most of those exorcists are after-looking at you here, Reborn- I'm here to make sure you guys actually attend and behave. And hopefully, they leave us alone after a while because I will not stand for my garden being trampled on one more time."
They all look affronted at first, but guilt seeps in the longer Tsuna scolds them and eventually, even Leon looks a little chastised. Good. That's something he can work with.
Sending them all a saccharine sweet smile that sets hairs on end, Tsuna unbluckles his seatbelt. "Now, let's get down, shall we? The sermon is about to start soon."
.
Tsuna admits that he's never really had a mother figure in his life. A mother, sure, but Nana hadn't really been a mother to him aside from providing a roof over his head and putting food on the table. He's grateful and loves Nana for that, of course, but when it comes down to it, Tsuna is willing to admit that Nana was never there. So really, Tsuna doesn't ever expect to know what motherly love feels like.
However.
It is thirty minutes into mass service, and aside from the whispers of regular church-goers and Viper refusing to step into the chapel due to 'higher powers that had dictated his presence as desecrating everything they stood for' and so forcing them all to stand outside while still being able to hear and see the priest's ministrations, the only concerning thing that has happened so far was Reborn and Colonello being caught charming a group of nuns in the five minutes they were left alone on holy ground that had since sent giggles and 'secretive' winks their way. The nuns, that is.
He is also pretty sure one of the younger nuns had scribbled her number on Reborn's hand, but he resolutely ignores it.
The thing is, although Tsuna has never experienced nor had a mother figure, the constant anxiety and worry that he has for his fellow Arcobaleno is what he would imagine mothers feel for their toddlers when setting them loose in a playground, and it sure sure as hell makes him feels like one.
Tsuna then turns to Fon when he suddenly, albeit very gently, tugs on Tsuna's sleeve, only to turn back to face where the smiling Chinese man was pointing at with dread in his heart.
At first, Tsuna squints. Then, he despairs.
Because standing right behind the priest was Reborn, in a white and green garb, looking as innocent and as innocuous as can be.
He immediately thinks he was an idiot to lose sight of Reborn, because of course the bastard would sneak away the one time Tsuna was distracted, change his clothes and pose as a fucking altar server.
Suddenly, he blinks, and gripped with an urgency he'd usually feel on the battlefield, he starts looking around for the rest of his family.
Colonello is nowhere to be seen, and neither is Lal but Tsuna has a feeling that they'd went off together. Skull was sitting by his feet, bored and playing with the loose gravel. Viper was gone, and so was Verde. Fon is standing right beside him with an amused smile on his face, and he grabs both his and Skull's hands because no fucking way is he losing sight of anyone else, and pulls them closer to him.
"Whatever happens next," Tsuna whispers to them, Fon being highly amused and Skull being confused at the dark look on their precious Sky's face. "We don't know any of them."
Just in time, too, because the priest was apparently calling forward the mass' children, and had then turned to Reborn, looking at him expectantly.
Tsuna and Skull watch in horror as Reborn bows, and hands a green-green, fucking green- chalice to him.
"And now," wheedles the old priest. "Blessings for the young that they will remain healthy and achieve their goals in the future. May the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit be with you."
Tsuna doesn't want to see what happens next.
The priest moves to remove the cloth over the chalice.
Tsuna really doesn't want to see what happens next.
He removes it. And promptly faints dead away.
Tsuna almost sobs right then and there because somehow, and for some fucking reason, Reborn had managed to get Viper (and he knows those are illusions goddamn it, Reborn!) to make Leon seem like he was spewing wave after wave of what seemed to be... locusts.
In an Italian Catholic church.
He feels Fon patting his back in comfort.
.
The next day, Tsuna finds out from a letter addressed to them personally by the Vatican, that not only are thereby banned from all holy grounds in Italy, but all efforts to 'cleanse' their area of living was to be stopped on one condition. Attached to the letter was a list of what was destroyed, and a bill so hefty Tsuna had immediately slapped Colonello with it.
Reborn passes by, reads the letter, and snorts.
"About time. I get nauseous in churches anyway."
Tsuna bans both of them to takeout for two months.
Some things that happened:
1. Pest control was called when holy water didnt seem to work against the locusts. The church was then demolished some time later, people being too afraid and traumatized by what had happened that no one went there anymore.
2. Ivicho moved out of the country during the following week of The Church Incident.
3. Reborn had 'accidentally' dumped holy water on himself in the chaos and made it so that his Sun Flames were making him look like he was on fire and said: "It burns."
4. Viper only agreed to help Reborn because someone had asked him for a donation.
5. Colonello had dislodged the church bell when he and Lal were competing on the rafters to see who could be sneakier.
6. Verde was sleeping in the car during the whole ordeal.
7. Skull's reason for not being able to help Tsuna move an unconscious Reborn to the car was: "I'm a Buddhist. Technically not allowed to touch holy water, sorry."
8. Fon was just there for Tsuna and the laughs tbh
A.N:
hi there. ive been gone for awhile (like 2 years lmao) but i finally found a way back into ffnet after my country banned it from being accessible. :) im still as loyal to khr as ever, but tbh i dont know if i can continue FODAID. have this sad thing for now as an apology ;w;
love yall