Shaun couldn't stop moving. His hands flew around without his consent, ruffling and pulling in his hair as he stared up at Jared.
"Shaun, it's okay mate, we both like what's going on, right?" Kalu smiled at him, his hands resting on the bed that Shaun was sat on. They were wearing their normal clothes and were at Jared's place.
Shaun sat facing him on his double bed. The bed was high off the ground, and his feet dangled in the air. Jared had noticed this and could not help but find it incredibly cute
The room was dim and Shaun was still moving his hands. He felt overwhelmed with happiness and nerves. Jared liked him, he liked him a lot. So much that after work he had taken him out to dinner and told him so. Then, having realised that it was far too late to get Shaun a bus, and with neither of them having enough money in their wallets for a cab, they had walked back to Jared's apartment.
Looking down at Shaun, Jared felt that warmth in his chest that he always felt when looking at him. His wide eyed brilliance, his straightforwardness and his naivety had all drawn Jared to him. And now, sat on his bed, shirt untucked and hair ruffled, another reason to love – no not love, appreciate – Shaun Murphy was that he was ridiculously attractive.
"J-Jared," Shaun started, looking slightly past him, "I would like to kiss you. Would that be alright?"
A huge smile stretched across Jared's face and he gently rubbed a thumb over Shaun's hand, pulling away when he saw the flinch.
"That would be lovely, Shaun," Jared said softly, and yelped slightly when Shaun pulled him down to his level so that they could kiss. This led to Jared lying above Shaun who was now flat against the bed. Their mouths connected and fireworks exploded in Jared's head.
He was kissing Shaun! He was kissing his beautiful, smart colleague. It felt exhilarating.
Shaun's hands that were now bunched up in Jared's shirt pushed at his chest urgently. Disappointed, Jared disconnected their mouths. "What's the matter Shaun? Are you okay?"
Shaun kept pushing Jared upward until he collected his legs beneath him and knelt up, removing his body from being on top of Shaun's.
"Too much contact. Didn't like it. Too much." Shaun said, looking away from Jared's disappointed face.
"Okay. Okay Shaun." Jared said softly. He wanted to reassure Shaun that he was going to make him as comfortable as humanly possible. "Do you want to lie on top of me? That way you can control the amount our bodies touch."
Shaun thought about it for a second before blushing. "I do not know what to do. You have more experience. You should be in charge."
Jared laughed. Shaun was adorable and he wanted nothing more than to bundle him into his arms, but his lips were tingling with the feeling of Shaun's and his cock was hard in his jeans. Simply put, he had a few things to take care of until then.
"Do you want me to be in charge, Shaun?" Jared asked with a sly grin.
Shaun's face reddened even more and he opened and closed his mouth trying to speak. "I think it would be the best way to make sure we both have an orgasm. That is the purpose of this." He said finally.
"I can give you an orgasm Shaun Murphy. Just looking at you gives me one." Jared wasn't sure why he decided on dirty talk as a tactic, but he felt like he should at least try his favourite technique.
"That would be inconvenient and counter productive." Shaun said. "It may also be a sign of a larger issue. Maybe testicu-"
"I was kidding Shaun." Jared stated. He looked a bit lost. The most amazing man was in his bed and Jared had no idea what to do to satisfy him and keep him comfortable. He really wished he had done a bit more research into autism before asking Shaun out now.
Shaun was silent and looked at Jared's face. He didn't look happy. That meant Shaun had upset him in some way. "I have upset you, Dr. Kalu. You have changed your mind. I should leave." He sat up and began to climb off of the bed. Arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him back into the centre of the bed, a pair of jean clad legs straddling his waist.
"No Shaun, you haven't upset me at all." Jared stared down at Shaun, a burning intensity in his eyes. Shaun shied away from the contact, causing Jared to heave up onto his arms, removing some of it. "I just... I don't know how to do this without hurting you or making you uncomfortable." His eyes widened when Shaun touched his face, halting and unsure.
"I-I-I do not know either, Jared." Shaun stated. 'I have never done this before." His face flushed at admitting this personal detail. He knew Jared had plenty of sexual experience, and his meagre almost kiss at age thirteen paled in comparison.
Sighing, Jared shifted back and sat up. Clearly Shaun didn't know enough about this to want it, and he may be many things, but Jared would not allow himself to force this beautiful, brilliant man to do anything before he was comfortable with it.
"I understand, Shaun. We don't have to do anything tonight."
As he climbed off of Shaun and began making his way to the bathroom to deal with his situation, Shaun grabbed his wrist.
"Jared. I do not wish to stop being intimate. Being intimate with you is something I have desired for some time." Jared turned to face him, shocked at the sincerity in Shaun's eyes. "You do not intend to hurt me. I believe that you won't. I think that we should continue."
Slowly, Jared sat down on the bed, gesturing for Shaun to sit beside him. Their hands met and they sat in silence for a moment, enjoying each other's company.
Jared's voice broke the silence. "Shaun, if anything gets too much, or you feel uncomfortable or in pain you have to tell me. Okay?"
Shaun nodded silently. "So you want to be intimate?"
Jared smiled. He loved everything about Shaun, but his way of talking was something he adored.
"Yes Shaun. Yes I would."
Turning to fully face him, Jared met Shaun's lips. Slowly, they kissed, sweetly. Jared let Shaun take control, despite it becoming clear Shaun had little idea of what to do. He just enjoyed the feeling of Shaun being so close and trusting him to touch him.
Shaun's mind was whirling a mile a minute, struggling to process all of the sensations. Jared's lips were chapped and dry but somehow felt nice. The sheets were soft, silky and despite his apprehension he melted into them. Jared smelled strongly of cologne and body spray, as well as a hint of body odour. It made Shaun's nose wrinkle slightly, but it wasn't a powerful enough smell to make him uncomfortable.
As they kissed, both men wondered what they should do next. All that went through Jared's mind was thoughts of holding Shaun down and ravishing him. Shaun was unsure what to think. He wanted to go further, to maybe have sex with Jared, but he knew that was not considered acceptable on a first date. Date. It struck him that this may have been a date. Did that mean he and Jared were dating? Was Jared his boyfriend?
Jared gently ran his hands through Shaun's hair, touches feather light. He grinned into the kiss when Shaun made a small noise which was unmistakably of pleasure. He continued to run his hands through, and Shaun disconnected their mouths to breathe heavily. "Jared... Ah!" Shaun whimpered when Jared moved a hand down to press against his crotch, where a large bulge had formed.
Jared smiled at him, heat in his eyes. "You're gorgeous, Shaun Murphy." He stated, following Shaun's movement as he reclined to fully lie down on the bed, propping himself up on his knees to avoid full body contact.
Shaun flushed and closed his eyes, enjoying the pressure applied to his crotch and hand in his hair. He felt relaxed. There was no pressure on him. No one was judging him. It was just Jared and him. Jared, who was staring at him like he was... Shaun wasn't entirely sure how to describe it, but it was similar to the looks Melendez and Claire shared when they thought no one could see them.
"Shaun," Jared whispered, voice heavy with lust. "I want to jerk you off. Is that alright? If I touch your cock?"
Shaun considered for a moment, opening his eyes and finding Jared's. "Yes. Yes that would be okay." He answered, nodding to himself.
Jared reached down and unbuttoned Shaun's pants, shimmying them slightly down his thighs to reveal white underwear with a sizeable bulge poking through. Peeling down the underwear, Jared felt his heart hammering. He had done this with multiple girls and guys over his ten plus years of sexual activeness, but Shaun felt different. The trust Shaun was putting in him to see him stripped bare was close to overwhelming. He barely heard the hiss Shaun made when his cock was exposed to the cold air of the bedroom, but he couldn't miss the begging that tumbled out of his cute mouth.
"Ah, Jared. Jared please, please touch me. Please." He stuttered and stumbled over his words and blushed. Men in the porn he watched never stuttered, not even the twinks, as the numerous sites called them. He couldn't imagine how painfully unsexy he sounded. He opened his mouth to apologise for his outburst but Jared cut him off.
"God Shaun you're so perfect," Jared breathed as he began moving, Shaun's mouth forming an O shape as he moaned in relief. One of Jared's dark hands busied itself with Shaun's length, the other deftly fondling his own, whilst his eyes focused on his beautiful colleague.
Shaun had thrown his head back onto the soft cushions, one hand gently running through his own hair to calm him and add to the pleasure. His eyes were clenched shut and his hips wriggled but Jared knew that he was loving this. The low moans and short hitches of breath were more than enough evidence. That and the way Shaun thrust up into his touch, moans increasing in frequency and volume as he approached orgasm.
"J-Jared..." Shaun gasped out, trying to warn his partner. "I- I'm going to...Ah." He was cut off as the pleasure overwhelmed him and he came, his cum coating his stomach and Jared's hand.
Jared's gut tightened and heat rushed to his crotch as he watched Shaun completely lose himself in his pleasure. Letting out a deep, primal groan that sounded slightly like 'Shaun,' Jared reached his own orgasm, spilling over his bed and slightly on Shaun's stomach.
As they both came down to their highs Jared eased himself down to lay beside Shaun. There was a moment of content silence before Shaun spoke.
"I'm sorry." He said, sounding slurred. "I should have told you I was... finishing. And I should have reciprocated the touch. You should not have had to do it yourself." He stared up at the ceiling, feeling guilt crash the pleasant after glow. He hadn't done what he was meant to and now Jared wouldn't want to do this again, because Shaun had done it wrong, he was stupid and he'd done it wrong and-
"Shaun!" Jared's voice snapped through his frantic thoughts and he flinched back. Now Jared really was angry with him, he was gripping Shaun's arm tightly and kept saying things in quick, short measurements. People spoke in quick ways when they were giving instructions or upset. Jared must be upset.
"You're safe Shaun, I promise you're safe. Shaun please calm down, whatever it is I promise you it's okay. Please, Shaun shh, it's okay. Everything's okay." Jared was worried. He knew Shaun was panicking. He had read the term 'catastrophizing' in regards to Autism, but he didn't know what could have set Shaun off or how to calm him.
He looked around, and then realised that he was gripping Shaun tightly, and had grabbed his hand, stopping him partially from stimming. He instantly let go and Shaun immediately ran his hands through his hair, breathing shallowly with wide unfocused eyes.
Jared didn't know what to do, but he was not going to abandon Shaun like this. He decided to wait it out, sitting back and quieting down to remove any extra sensory input that could distress Shaun further.
Slowly, Shaun's breathing calmed. He blinked rapidly and looked up at Jared, who was staring at him with concern.
"Are you alright?" Jared asked softly when Shaun seemed calm.
Shaun was quiet for a while, trying to decide if he was.
Physically he was fine, more than fine, the recent orgasm having released a lot of tension. His displeasure at his failure to meet the standards he knew were expected of him was still very much prominent, but he felt much calmer.
"Yes. Yes I am fine."
"Shaun," Jared said softly, holding out a hand to Shaun who hesitantly took it. "You never have to apologise with me. There is never anything you have to do here, okay? I only ever want you to do what you're comfortable with. Understand?"
Shaun shook his head, confused. "You did not want me to reciprocate?" He asked.
Jared shook his head quickly. "Shaun, I want you to reciprocate. I want us both to thoroughly enjoy this... relationship. But I only want from you what you're willing to give. If you do not want to reciprocate, you don't have to. If you don't want to be touched intimately at all, you don't have to be. Only do what you're comfortable with." Jared squeezed Shaun's hand and smiled at him sweetly.
Shaun stared at their joined hands, thinking for a while. Shyly, he looked up from under his incredibly messy hair.
"I understand Jared." He smiled uncertainly. "You only
want me to do what I want to do. That sounds very good."
They exchanged a look charged with something that felt suspiciously like love and definitely like affection.
"For now, I want to lay down, and sleep. With you beside me." Shaun stated.
Jared nodded but got up off the bed. "Before we do that, I reckon we'd better clean your stomach off. You don't want dried cum on you when we have to rush for work tomorrow." He chuckled as he pulled Shaun up and led to him to the bathroom.
"No." Shaun agreed. "That sounds awful. But, when we are done cleaning, we will go to sleep?" He asked with a yawn.
"Yes Shaun." Jared chuckled.
He couldn't help but feel that tonight was the start of something truly beautiful between the two of them.