Penelope Garcia glanced up when she heard him enter her office but she was so preoccupied with the pages on her monitor that she didn't really bother looking at him. "I haven't had a chance to look over the file you sent me yet. I promise to get to it as soon as I finish up with this report for Emily." She told him, assuming that was why he had ventured into her space. It wasn't normal for her to get visitor's back here.
"It's fine. I know you'll get to it when you can." Luke Alvez said.
She spun in her chair, twirling her pink, unicorn topped pen in her hand. "Did you need something-"
She stopped before she could finish the sentence. Dark circles had formed under his tired-looking brown eyes. His jaw was clenched and his full plumb lips formed a tight line. His black, usually neat hair was rumpled as if he'd been pulled his hand through it and his shoulders were slumped. "What's happened? Is everything okay?" she asked, getting immediately to her feet. "Is it Roxy? Please say it isn't Roxy."
He held out a manila folder and offered it to her. "Roxy's fine."He assured her. "Everything is fine."
"Liar." She muttered as she took the file from him and dropped it on the desk behind her without looking at it.
He caught her eye for a moment and they just stood there staring at each other, neither of them moving or speaking. Penelope noticed something in his handsome face that made her breath catch in her throat but it was such a brief thing she wasn't sure she hadn't imagined it.
Then he looked away and chuckled humorlessly. "I came in here to hide out from everyone for a little while." He announced as he scratched at the scruffy hair covering his jaw.
"Why are you hiding? What's happened?" she asked again.
"I don't know why I thought you wouldn't notice. I guess sometimes I forget that you're an F.B.I. agent, too."
She was more than a little insulted by that, but she let it slide because she knew he realized his mistake. If there was anyone in this office that would notice something was off with one of them, it was her. The look on his face said he knew that now.
"So, spill." she insisted, instead of letting him have it for underestimating her.
"Everything is fine. Honestly, I'm fine." He repeated for good measure.
"You just admitted that you weren't and you look like crap. Clearly your definition of fine and mine are different. Tell me this – is it work or home?"
When he came towards her she turned the chair beside hers out for him and took her own. Once he was settled he cleared his throat. "Both, I guess, but I don't want to talk about it. Can I just sit in here with you until the briefing?"
She eyed him for a moment longer before nodding her head and turning back towards her computer. "So, what don't you want to talk about?" She tried one more time.
He dropped his hands to his thighs and pushed the chair back like he was about to leave, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. "I'll stop. You can sit here if you want. But if you do decide to talk about it, I'm here to listen."
He settled back but his eyes were still on hers. "I don't believe that for a second."
Now she was insulted. "You don't believe that I care about whatever is bothering you!?"
"Of course, I know you care. I just don't think that you could sit there and just listen if I decided to talk about it." He explained.
She bit the inside of her lip, knowing she was taking a huge chance but believing she was up for the challenge. "I can, too. If that's what you want. I won't say a thing. You have my word." She clamped her bright, red lips for emphasis.
He was quiet for a long while. She thought he'd decided against trusting her, then he cleared his raspy throat again. It was the first time she noticed that it sounded as if he'd been yelling.
"Lisa went to stay with her brother for a while." He said finally.
"How long is a while?" Penelope asked and he gave her an 'I told you so' glare. She mouthed 'I'm sorry' before clamping her lips shut again.
"I have no idea how long. For good maybe. She's been gone two weeks and still won't answer my calls. So, I don't know." He looked down at his hands, scrutinizing the cuticles before looking back to her with a roll of his eyes. "Fine, say something."
"Did you have a fight?" she asked with concern in her voice.
"No," he shook his head. "We had a lot of fights. Looks like the last one might have been the straw though." He sighed.
"About what?" she asked, completely forgetting her agreement to keep quiet.
"Everything, what to have for dinner, where to put a chair, what to watch on T.V.. She works too much. I work too much. She wants to get a cat." He went on with the list.
"Sounds like normal couple stuff to me." She shrugged. "And what's wrong with wanting a cat?"
"Nothing except that I already feel terrible for leaving Roxy alone like I do."
"Except that Lisa is around when you aren't." She reminded him.
"That's just it. She isn't. She works double shifts at the hospital. She comes in long enough to let her out and then she's right back at work. Roxy still spends most of her time alone. She's even got the neighbor kid taking Roxy out for walks in the afternoons now. I know she works a lot and I don't expect her to take care of my dog. I just don't understand why she would want to get another pet that we'll just neglect, too."
She held up her hand. "First of all, Roxy is not neglected. If I believed that I would be the first one to say it. I think we can agree that that's a fact." He nodded grudgingly. "But second off, I can see where you're coming from. But you do know that most cats prefer to be left alone for hours on end. Sergio decides when he wants to see me. It's not the same as a dog. But I see your point on this argument."
He jumped to his feet, pushing the chair back with the suddenness of the movement. "See," he pointed at her. "Right there. That is exactly what I was trying to say."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I talked, didn't I? I guess you were right. I can't do it." She apologized, hoping she hadn't scared him away.
"No," He shook his head emphatically. "I mean, just what you said. Was it so hard to say you can see things my way, too? And I understand that couples fight about stupid things. My parents love to argue. They argue about everything, too, but they don't fight about everything."
"I mean, come on, how bad could a fight about dinner be?" she asked.
"I slept on the couch that night." He admitted.
"Why? How does that happen?"
"She wanted Indian food. I told her I don't really like Indian food."
"Me either." Penelope whispered, like it was a state secret.
"So now she says that this is exactly what she's talking about when she says I'm too closed off. She says I should have said something about the Indian food before now since we eat it all the time." He said, sitting back down and clearly forgetting all about not wanting to talk about it.
"Why haven't you said anything before now?" She asked completely engrossed in his animation which was suddenly amped up to high because now he was on his feet again.
"It never really mattered to me. I'm usually too tired to care or she has already ordered food by the time I get home and I've usually already grabbed something. It isn't a big deal." He shrugged. "I just don't really like it."
"Okay, so did you tell her that?"
"I tried but by the time I was done, she was in tears and I was ranting."
"Why was she in tears?" Penelope asked trying to break down the situation.
"She said I don't let people get to know me and I'll never change." He said, sitting down again and slumping his shoulders.
"And you lashed out because it stung?" She guessed.
"No, I lashed out because I'm really trying to do better and she never gives me credit for that." he replied.
Penny blinked at him for a long uncomfortable moment. He wasn't usually that honest and it had them both squirming in their chairs.
"Did you tell her that?" she asked finally.
"No," he admitted. "I started yelling about how hard she was making it to just order some food. Then she got up and started banging around in the kitchen and she's crying and slamming doors and I took off." He shifted and sighed. "When I got back she'd made up the couch and gone to bed. Then I was gone for a few days on a case. Anyway, we never talked about it again."
"I want to help you." She told him with a light touch on his arm.
She was never exactly certain how to act around Luke. He wasn't like the other members of the BAU and she had no idea why. Everyone else she was always completely comfortable around. Luke was different. Touching him felt somehow inappropriate. It was strange because it had never felt inappropriate to hug Spencer or even Derek, for that matter. But she and Luke had tried it once and it had not gone well. It was crazy awkward and stiff. Now she made sure to keep physical contact with Luke to a minimum. It was the same with the banter. Something was different about him. She and Derek had gotten close to being not suitable for work many times and it had never felt weird. But somehow even giving Luke a nickname other than Newbie felt oddly intimate.
"I'm not sure how you can." He answered, bring her back to the present.
She pushed her errant thoughts aside and tried to concentrate on the problem in front of her. Unfortunately, the problem in front of her hadn't shied away from her hand. It was still laying on his arm and she could feel his heat in her fingertips and that sent a shiver of something yummy right to the pit of her stomach. He was wearing his red shirt today and it was stretch tightly across his well muscled chest, the same way his black jeans were stretched over his thighs. His facial hair was a touch more scraggly today and something about that made it seem even more alluring. She wanted to reach up and run her fingers through the stubble. She could feel the delightful roughness of it already.
She stopped herself when she realized she was leaning in like she did during briefings to get a hint of his cologne. He'd once told her that he didn't wear cologne, but she knew he was lying. No one smelled that good without help.
Shit! She snatched her hand away from him like he'd burned her. When she did, it sent her coffee cup tumbling, spilling all over his leg and her butterfly covered dress. He leaped to his feet and grabbed some napkins from her desk to mop up the mess.
"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned that it had burned him.
"Yeah, it wasn't hot anymore. How about you? What happened?"
She grabbed a few more napkins and dabbed at the brown stain seeping across her yellow dress. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I just remembered something that I need to get done. It's pretty urgent." She lied, wanting nothing more than to get him out of her office. Now.
She needed to think about what had just happened. She needed time to figure out what it all meant, even though she was already pretty sure.
"I'll let you get back to it. I need to go change anyway." He took a step towards her and gave her a smile that struck her somewhere around her knees. It was one of those crocked ones that reminded her of Han Solo. She did her best not to wobble. "Thank you for listening. I really appreciate you pushing. I guess I did have a few things to get off my chest."
Her eyes immediately fell to his muscled chest against her wishes. She glanced back up but his expression said he noticed.
She mumbled a quick, 'you're welcome' and added an 'anytime' for good measure. When he turned and left she could have sworn he had an extra swagger in his walk.
She flopped down in her chair still staring at the spot where he'd disappeared. How had this happened? When did she let herself become attracted to a member of the team. That wasn't how things worked. That road led to potentially messy outcomes.
It could also lead to hot, sweaty nights spent with their bodies wrapped around each other while he whispered to her in Spanish and she ran her cherry red fingernails over the luscious washboard of his stomach.
Damn it! This time the scream was an internal one, thank God. She shook her head, trying to clear the images from her brain. Turning back to her computer she reached for her keyboard. Perhaps some good old fashion horrible murders could help her think again. She dove into her work and promised herself that she would never let her mind wander like that again. Certain things were off-limits and Luke Alvez was one of them, for too many reasons to count.