"Russian Roulette"
Chapter One

Pavel Chekov sat at his navigational post on the USS Enterprise, trying to avoid looking behind him. He just kept looking at his controls, focusing way too hard on a speck of dust on the algorithm calculator. His temptation was growing to be almost unbearable. Maybe if he just snuck a small look, just a casual glance. Nothing that would seem too suspicious.

Chekov scratched his ear and (hopefully) looked inconspicuously over his right shoulder as he did. And there he sat. Looking over complex formulas and entering various numbers into them. He wrote down several notes before turning back to his readout screen and reviewing his calculations. Chekov felt a fluttering in the pit of his stomach. There was just something about him that—

"Hey Pavel!"

Chekov jumped a mile. "Что?! Что случилось?! Я не делал этого![1]" He shrieked in Russian. The entire deck went silent and looked at him with worried and startled expressions. Chekov blushed a brilliant shade of crimson. "I am sorry... I was... was just... Nah-zing. Never you mind. Sorry." He cleared his throat and sat back down. Chekov's eyes flashed back to Mr. Spock for a brief moment. The Vulcan fixed him with an annoyed glare. Quickly, Chekov spun around and looked back at his work. Why did he have to be in with love the man that obviously hated him? Why did he have to love Spock?

Well, the seventeen-year-old thought with a small smile, I can answer zat easily. Because Meester Spock eez perfect. He eez tall and handsome, and he eez intelligent and always knows how to stay calm when der eez trouble. Heez eyes are очень хорошо—wery nice. Zey are so filled with emotional zings, even zho he eez Wulcan. And heez face... Господи[2]... I cannot describe. So perfect. Zat is all he eez. He eez perfect. But he eez недоступный—unobtainable.

Chekov jumped a little less violently as someone jabbed him in the ribs. This time, he didn't vault to his feet and start yelling in Russian. He turned to his left and saw Sulu looking at him with an amused expression. "What's got you so worked up about? I was just wondering what you were looking at, I didn't mean to startle you so badly."

"Eet was you?" Chekov asked. "Hikaru, you disturbed me when I was looking at—!" He broke off quickly, turning bright red again. He quickly went back to work, keeping his focus far too much.

Sulu raised a brow, still smiling. "When you were looking at what?"

"Это ничего. Eet eez nah-zing."

"Don't play that, Pavel. I saw you! You were looking really fondly at something or someone back there!" Sulu raised both his eyebrows devilishly. "It was Uhura, wasn't it? Do you have a crush on Uhura?"

Pavel made a face. "Это отвратительно! Конечно, нет!"

Sulu drew a blank. "Pavel, I don't speak Russian, remember?" He smiled anyway. "Regardless, I think it's adorable when you do speak it."

"I said: 'Zat eez deez-gusting! Of course not!'" He repeated. "I do not like Uhura at all. She eez not a friend." Chekov jabbed the buttons on his workspace with more force as he ground his teeth in frustration. He had seen her. He had seen her and Spock... kissing. No, Chekov did not consider Uhura a friend. He considered her a romantic rival. "And zank you for saying so. About my speaking, I mean."

"Not a problem, Pavel." Sulu said, staring at him. "So are you going to tell me? Who were you staring at?" When Chekov didn't answer, Sulu prodded him in the ribs again. "I'm not going to stop bothering you about it! Just tell me!"

"Hikaru..." Chekov began, nervously twisting his fingers on his left hand. "Let us say zat you like someone. But you are unsure if zey like you in zat same way." He was avoiding Sulu's eyes as he continued. "But... you cannot force yourself to not like zis person because you haff such strong feelings. Do you know what I am saying to you?"

Sulu's expression was unreadable. "Yeah... Yeah I know what you mean."

"Zat is how I am feeling now."

"That's pretty... awful." Sulu said, trying to get Chekov to look at him. "I actually feel that way right about now too. Who um... Who do you feel like that about?" He asked awkwardly.

"Will you promise not to zink I am odd if I tell you?" Chekov asked, meeting his gaze. Sulu nodded. "Okay. Well, zah person zat I like..." he leaned closer to Sulu so he could whisper, "...eez a man." He looked worriedly into the other man's eyes.

Sulu's face relaxed enormously, but he whispered as well. "That's not a bad thing, Pavel! You don't have to get so worked up about that!"

Chekov shook his head. "Нет—No, Hikaru. You misunderstand. He is недоступный—unobtainable. Out of my league."

Sulu smiled warmly. "Well I'm sure if you gave him a chance he'd warm up to you." He coughed slightly. "So um... What does... What does he look like?"

Chekov's eyes went misty as he turned back to his work. A little blush had crept its way onto the young man's cheeks. "Oh he eez perfect, Hikaru. He has short black hair and dark eyes. He has many skills and can defend himself well if he were in a fight. But he eez also wery smart. Zere are not many who are as smart as he. I haff actually been in love with him since we at zee Academy." He was blushing again. "You haff to swear not to tell anyvon! You haff to promise!"

"I promise, Pavel! Now who is he?" Sulu pressed. Chekov looked away, blushing a deeper red than Sulu had ever seen him, and whispered a name. "I didn't hear you, can repeat that?"

Chekov leaned even closer and whispered in Sulu's ear. "...Meester Spock."

Sulu felt like his entire body had been drenched in ice water. He forced himself to turn back to his work and keep his expression neutral. "Oh I see." He said simply in a flat tone. But the little Russian didn't seem to notice the tone or body language of his friend.

Kirk cleared his throat and broadcasted across the ship: "Attention Enterprise, this is Captain Kirk. Alpha shift is relieved and Beta shift is now requested to their stations. Thanks. Kirk out."

Chekov and Sulu got to their feet. The Russian stopped and waited for Spock to leave the bridge before following Sulu. The Asian man cleared his throat and said in a lower voice as people passed them when they walked down the corridor. "So Spock, huh? Well... You could do worse."

The Russian offered a half smile and lightly punched Sulu's arm. "Молчи! Be quiet, Hikaru!" Chekov said, face falling slightly. "But zere eez no way he would ewer ewen consider me as anyzing but a неприятность—a nuisance." His smile dropped completely and his walking speed slowed dramatically until he came to a complete stop. Sulu noticed and slowed as well before walking back to Chekov.

"Pavel..." He shook the younger man's arm. "Hey, Pavel. What is it? What's wrong?"

Chekov looked into Sulu's eyes. Sulu was taken aback by how much hurt was reflected in them. "He... He probably hates me, Hikaru. I let heez muzzer die. I could haff saved her... But she fell and... and I could haff saved her..." Tears threatened his vision, but Chekov sniffed and wiped his forearm across his eyes.

Sulu pitied the poor boy. "Listen Pavel." He put his hand on Chekov's shoulder in a comforting way. "I don't think that—"

Chekov wrenched his arm out of Sulu's grip. Tears were streaking down his face as he glared daggers at Sulu. "Нет! Вы послушайте! Я мог бы сделать что-нибудь! Все что угодно! Но я не сделал, и теперь она умерла из-за меня! Это все моя вина! Разве вы не видите?!" Chekov shouted with anger and guilt dancing across his face.

"Pavel, please—!"

"Нет!" Chekov shrieked and ran down the corridor and out of sight.

"Pavel wait!" But the little Russian was already out of earshot. "Dammit!" Sulu said and ran a hand through his hair.

"What is wrong with Ensign Chekov, Mr. Sulu?"

Sulu turned and saw Spock walking toward him with Uhura at his hip. Sulu swallowed and didn't meet the Vulcan's eyes. "We... We were just talking and he got a bit angry." He said quietly.

Uhura snorted. "I don't think that qualifies as 'a bit.'"

Sulu looked at her and an idea popped into his head. "Do you speak Russian, Uhura?"

"Of course."

"Well, okay." Sulu said, slightly taken aback at the annoyance in her voice. "Well, can you tell me what he said? I don't speak Russian."

"Obviously." Uhura said, ignoring Sulu's glare. She thought for a moment before saying, "I believe he said something along the lines of: 'No! You listen! I could have done something! Anything! But I did not and now she is dead because of me! It's all my fault! Don't you see?'"

Spock raised one pointed eyebrow. "If I may inquire, Mr. Sulu, what is it exactly that you two were discussing?"

Sulu felt his palms get a bit sweaty. "Well... We were just talking about..." He decided not to tell Spock the whole story. He wanted to keep Pavel's secret a secret. "Well, actually, I was talking to Pavel first about how he's been under the weather lately. I was wondering why that was, because you know, I'm his friend and um..." He cleared his throat. "And Pavel was saying how he felt guilty. He uh... He's worried that you hate his guts, Spock."

The Vulcan looked at Sulu with what could've been curiosity and shock. But his expressions were so difficult to understand. Damn Vulcan. Sulu thought bitterly. "I?" Spock said, a small note of confusion in his voice. "I do not see Ensign Chekov as being someone, as you so elegantly put it Mr. Sulu, who's 'guts I hate.' I cannot fathom any logic to explain why I should have any reason to dislike him."

"Well when you put it that way, no." Sulu said, wringing his hands. "But Pavel's worried that you have some sort of hate for him after... What happened. You know. On Vulcan."

Was it pain that flashed in Spock's eyes? It was so brief that Sulu wasn't sure it had ever been there at all. The Vulcan drew himself up to his full height. "May I ask where Ensign Chekov is now, Mr. Sulu?"

Chekov sat in his quarters on the edge of his bed, face in his hands. Occasionally, he'd reach down and pick up the bottle of vodka at his feet and take a long swig. The seventeen-year-old shouldn't even have the stuff to begin with. Not only was he underage, but alcohol wasn't allowed on board any Starfleet ship. Not that Captain Kirk paid attention to the second part anyway; Chekov had snuck into the Captain's quarters several days ago and stole the bottle he was currently nursing.

The realization that Spock would no doubt hate Chekov for what happened on Vulcan hit the little Russian with full force. No matter what he did, Chekov now knew he could never get Spock to even remotely enjoy being in the same room with him. He groaned, saying a string of curses in Russian before taking another large gulp of vodka. He wiped his mouth and sighed shakily. Chekov didn't even care when a few tears managed to spill down his face.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK

Chekov jumped and nearly dropped his bottle. He frowned and glared at the door. He had a good feeling he knew who was there. He faced his back to the door and pretended to not be in the room. But the person on the other side entered the code and the door slid open.

"Go away, Hikaru." Chekov growled, taking another drink.

"I am not Mr. Sulu, Ensign Chekov." A familiar, smooth voice said.

Chekov choked on his drink and jumped to his feet. The bottle dropped out of his hand and shattered on the ground. He stared, open mouthed at who stood in his doorway.

"Meester Spock!" Chekov said in a strangled voice about an octave or two higher than normal. He wiped the shards of glass under his bed and put his hands behind his back. "I... I mean..." He cleared his throat. "C-Commander, please come in..." He said timidly.

Spock entered and shut the door behind him. He raised a brow and fixed Chekov with a questioning stare. "Were you drinking, Ensign Chekov?"

"Yes sir."

"You are aware of the regulations surrounding alcohol on any Starfleet vessel, are you not?"

"...Yes sir."

Spock was silent for a moment, considering the young man before him. "I am terribly sorry Ensign Chekov, but I temporarily lost my senses of sight and hearing and do not have the faintest idea as to what happened when I walked in." Chekov's mouth dropped to the ground. "As such, I am confident that you were not participating in any... shall we say, unsavory activities when I entered. Am I correct?"

Quickly taking advantage of Spock's kindness, Chekov nodded vigorously. "Y-Yes sir!"

"Very well, Ensign." He said. "Then I shall proceed with the reason I am here." He looked at the armchair next to the bookshelf and reading lamp. "May I sit?" He asked, gesturing to the chair.

"Oh yes! Я сожалею—I'm sorry! Please, please be seated!" Chekov said, very flustered.

"Thank you." Spock said, sitting and gestured to the corner of the bed. "Please sit with me. ...Pavel." Chekov felt his face glow bright red as Spock used his first name. He sat on the bed across from Spock, his hands shaking. "I would like to discuss a conversation I overheard you and Mr. Sulu having in the hallway." Chekov's face drained of all color. "Before you jump to any conclusions, I only overheard you shouting in Russian at Mr. Sulu and running off. However, Uhura was with me—" Spock noticed a vein jump in Chekov's temple and his fists clench slightly. He didn't address it, but kept it in the back of his mind. "—and she was able to translate what you said. After obtaining a small amount of information from Mr. Sulu concerning the context of the conversation, I came here to... shall we say, 'set the record straight.'"

"Before we go on Commander, I want just say zat... Zat whatewer Hikaru said... I swear—"

"Pavel listen to me." Chekov shut his mouth instantly. Spock fixed his deep brown eyes directly onto Chekov's ocean-blue ones. "I want you to understand a vital point. I, in no way, put any blame on you for the death of my mother. After reviewing all the factors surrounding the incident, the only explanation was that it would've happened regardless of who sat at the controls. It is illogical for you to feel guilt over an event of which you had no control, Pavel."

Chekov felt half of the problem lift from his shoulders. "So zen you did not hear anyzing else of what was said, Commander?"

"I did not." Spock fixed him with a critical gaze. "Should I have?"

"No sir! Eet was just..." Again, Chekov felt his face pale. "Please sir... What exactly did Hikaru tell you?"

Spock blinked in surprise at the urgent tone in Chekov's voice. "He merely stated that you felt a considerable amount of guilt for Mother's death and it had been weighing on you since the conclusion of the Narada mission. Considering that the Narada mission was two weeks and four days ago, the need for you to understand this was quite great. I cannot have the best navigator in all of Starfleet not performing at his best." Spock offered Chekov a very rare smile. The Russian couldn't help but smile back, his blush returning some color to his face.

"Zank you Commander." Chekov let out the breath he was holding. "Zat means a lot to know zat you don't hate me."

"Quite the contrary, Pavel. I see you as a kind and friendly young man and a very talented individual. You are supremely intelligent for your age and I enjoy engaging in conversation with you." Spock said.

Chekov had to look down at his feet. His smile was so wide it was almost idiotic. "Zank you once again, Commander." He said. "I zink you are a nice person to be around too."

Spock dipped his head once and stood. Chekov stood as well, to not seem rude. "Your compliment is accepted, Ensign Chekov. Now that this former issue has been addressed, I must return to my duties. Thank you for your time. Please enjoy the rest of your evening." With that, he opened the door and was gone.

Chekov sat back down and sighed. Well, at least Spock didn't hate him.

Well. This is going well. Sort of.

Poor little Pavel. He's really getting the short end of the stick here. Maybe he'll have better luck in the next chapter! I wouldn't know. Oh wait, yes I would, I'm the author! XD My SpellCheck wants to murder me with a blunt object every time Pavel speaks. Especially when he starts speaking Russian,

Oooooh! I am on FIRE with all these stories! Also, this is NaNoWriMo! (National Novel Writing Month) And also research month. Because I'm still in school, I have this thing that I do called school work, so I'll be doing that for a fair percentage of the time. I'm not sure when I'll get to update, but I will as soon as I can. :)

Thanks for reading! ^_^ Please be sure to review, I can't do anything unless you review!

1: "What?! What has happened?! I did not do it!"
2: "Oh my goodness..."