Mickey's Finest Hour
It is a period of world war. American forces are busy smashing the third Reich. Plowing thru Berlin, the army cuts a swathe of destruction, annihilating any and all krauts in their path.
Meanwhile, Adolf Hitler, the Big Cheese, the Kraut Supreme, is hatching his most diabolical scheme yet. Unbeknownst to the Allies, Hitler when he first came to power had anticipated even this worst-case scenario and ordered the construction of a huge hidden underground fortress deep beneath Germany. If the day ever came that the third Reich was doomed, Hitler would retreat into his impenetrable hidden base and live to fight another day, eventually putting a new generation of Nazis in power.
This project was of course totally classified, as classified as Area 51 is today. Only the head of the SS and Hitler's friends and inner circle knew of its existence. Nobody else knew about it. Nobody.
Except one.
What Hitler didn't know was that there had been someone hovering right outside the window right as he gave the order, and when the base was being constructed, was a frequent visitor to the place, and learned all about it. Several workers and soldiers had seen him, but they never reported it or hindered him directly for fear they might look like idiots.
You see, this hidden Allied spy was not your typical undercover agent. He didn't always need to hide because anyone who saw him wouldn't report him because their superiors would never believe they had seen someone as outlandish looking as him.
The name of this spy was NiGHTS.
On May 30th, 1945, Hitler retreated into his underground base. NiGHTS flew back to the US and reported to an American agent named Walt Disney that the Big Cheese had hatched his plan. Ordinarily, someone would've told the military.
But not Walt. You see, NiGHTS had informed him that it would be impossible to eliminate the enemy by normal means. The only way for the fortress to be conquered was for a small squadron to go in, single-handedly wipe out all of the krauts inside the fortress, find Hitler, and kill him, them blow the whole base to kingdom come.
But not a single living US soldier was capable of doing this. So Walt knew what he had to do. Upon receiving the information from NiGHTS, Walt summoned a secret special ops team to carry out this dangerous mission. Within an hour, the team made landfall on Germany. The team was composed of Walt's chosen people. First there was Mickey, the squad leader. Brave and fearless, he was the best leader you could want. Then there was his second in command, Peter Pan. Wielding the Ordon Sword, given to him by his cousin Link, he was a worthy fellow. Then there was Donald Duck, the first lieutenant. He was cool headed and straight minded. Then there was Goofy, the weapons specialist. Specializing in the use of everything from Colt .45s to bazookas, this guy brought the big guns where they were needed. The medical officer, Snow White, was utterly useless in combat but could fix you good if you'd been pumped full of lead by an MP40. And finally, there was the reconnaissance officer, Pluto. Although able to understand both English and German, he couldn't speak either due to the canine properties of his vocal anatomy. Walt had been working on an artificial voice box for him, but it wasn't done yet. As a result, Walt had had a radio wired to his brain so he could record radio broadcasts and filter content to convey what he meant.
Together, these brave men were going to end the war in Europe. All they needed was a little luck…
The old abandoned shed in the woods stood out against the gloomy backdrop. A lone Nazi guard stood by the door of the shed, guarding it.
A spectator might think it odd that someone was guarding an abandoned shed in the middle of the woods. So did the owner of a keen pair of eyes gazing at the scene. Mickey Mouse looked back in the direction behind him and said, "NiGHTS was right. This is the secret entrance. You guys stay here while I do the talking." Mickey walked up to the guard, who said in German, "Your papers, please." "They're right here," said Mickey, also in German, reaching into his pocket. "Oh, excuse me, but you forgot your grenade."
BOOM! Mickey had stuck a grenade into the guard's chest. As the lifeless body fell to the ground, Mickey beckoned with his hand. The other team members came up. Mickey opened the shed doors and went thru. The others followed. "Ah, here it is, the trap door," said Mickey. He opened the hatch and the team dropped down into Hitler's secret base.
Mickey decided it would be best to let Pluto scout ahead to determine how many krauts there were in their immediate path. "Can you handle it, Pluto?" he asked. From the speaker attached to his collar a man's voice said, "It's not just a job… it's an adventure!" With that, he was off.
Pluto found a great deal of bad guys ahead and was quickly spotted. They opened fire on him, but Pluto responded with guns imbedded in his head. As he ran back to join his fellows, the speaker crackled and a male voice said, "He's taking a heavy beating, but he just keeps going." As the krauts chased him, the send of a football announcer filled the air. "He breaks left… he breaks right… will he make it to the endzone?!" Finally he made it and bounded to Mickey's heels. Goofy aimed his BAR and sprayed lead across the hall. As the krauts fell dead, Pluto's speaker added to the sound. "You've never experienced horsepower like this!"
The team proceeded further into the base and arrived at a room with several SS officers. "Uh oh, more krauts!" said Mickey. The krauts stood up and drew their pistols. Mickey leapt forward and grabbed one by the throat. Pulling a knife from his belt, he turned him around and stabbed him. The bayonet sliced thru the kraut's head as if it were veal. At the same time, Donald Duck fired his twin .45's at another one's head. As he fell to the floor, the other two krauts leapt over him, but one was swiftly beheaded by Peter, and the other was pumped full of lead by the MP44 Goofy had retrieved from the carcass of one of the other krauts.
The team traveled throughout the base, killing all the krauts in their path, and eventually they came to a closed door with a man standing guard. "It's Heinrich Himmler, the head of the SS! Get him!" said Peter. From Pluto's speaker the team heard, "I'll bring 'im the pain, the pain train's comin'. Woo woo!" The whole crew fired their weapons at once and he toppled to the ground, undergoing a messy disintegration as he did so.
Thru the door they found what they were looking for. "A nice office you have, mien Fuhrer," said Mickey. "Or should I call you your royal splodginess?" "Mickey," said Hitler. "You've come here." "Surprised?" said Mickey. "Your arrogance blinds you, Mickey," Hitler said. "Now you will experience the full power of the master race!" He pulled out a bazooka and his wife Eva pulled out a luger. Goofy fired his MP44 and pumped Eva so full of lead that her stomach exploded. Hitler fired and missed. He reloaded and aimed. Mickey ran forward firing. Hitler fired at point blank range. The explosion blew both of them backward, stunning Hitler and knocking Mickey to the ground where he lay there motionless.
"Insolent fool! He gave his life for nothing!" "His sacrifice will be your undoing, Hitler!" said a voice behind the team. "Walt!" said Hitler. "I should've known you'd be here." Walt Disney drew a shining sword from his belt. The team recognized it as the Master Sword, which Link must've given him.
Hitler knocked Peter down and grabbed his sword, then faced Walt. The two met with a crash. Their blades clanged against each other. It was difficult for the team to follow the fight because the combatants moved so fast. Walt, though, was clearly better than der fuehrer. He pierced Hitler's abdomen with his blade, sending him to the ground, where he gasped for breath.
"Walt," he said, "If you destroy me, you destroy Germany. It will be divided for many years as a result of the chaos caused by my death." Disney stared down at the kraut supreme and raised his sword. "I will do what I must, Hitler." And with that, he plunged his sword into Hitler's chest in a manner that was too gory for any normal person to want to see or know. With that final thrust, his plans of domination, which had been decades in the planning, evaporated, his broken body perished, and Hitler himself was sucked into the Void, from which there would be no return.
Disney walked over to where Mickey was lying on the ground. "Walt," he said, "I see Disneyworld... It's… in America. The Americans need us… and we need them." "You will be remembered for centuries for what you have done today," said Disney. "We will never forget. I will never forget." Mickey nodded. "Goodbye… Walt…"
Thus did Mickey, the bravest soldier of the Second World War, die.
Walt tuned to the rest of the team. "We lost a great comrade," he said. "But gained new ones. Thank you. All of you. You honor us with your bravery."
Pluto raised his head to look at Walt. "Permission to speak, sir." Walt smiled. "Permission granted, old friend." "You speak now?" said Peter. "I wish to stay with Donald." "If that is his choice," said Walt. The duck nodded. "Yes."
Walt knelt down by Hitler's disfigured body. Reaching into the bloody chest, he pulled out something. It was a Chaos Emerald. Walt held it close to his chest. "Thank you, Lord."
And so the third Reich came to an end. The team blew up the base and the few surviving krauts burned the bodies and covered up the whole thing. Hitler would have ruled the world had it not been for Mickey and Walt. History may not remember them, but despite everything, their spirit lives on. Let no one forget; let nothing be forgotten.
Remembrance. Yes, that is surely the greatest lesson to be learned from the tyrant's life.
THE ENDFor Vanessa