JUST A STUPID IDEA THAT CAME TO ME WITH THE DOOM OF A:TS, SILLY REALLY,
ENJOY.
10 Reasons to Save Angel's Ass
The peroxide blonde vampire ambled aimlessly around the deserted corridors of the almost brand swanky new Wolfram and Hart building. Everyone had retired for the night leaving Spike alone, and unwatched to do whatever he wanted, there was so much mischief and mayhem he could cause. So of course, just because this story wouldn't work if he was off causing chaos, he was bored, and walking around without purpose.
As he was walking past Angel's office, he heard a suspicious noise. He had thought he was completely alone in the building, but instead of running in to investigate, he took a moment out to cock his head to one side and raise his scarred brow...yes, not just any brow; the one with the scar.
Realising that he should do something, he unfolded his arms from that protective position that made him seem so vulnerable all season, and ran into the room. He was taken aback to discover his sire sitting in the dark brooding, as this is an uncommon occurrence, surely something must be up.
Abruptly, without warning, Angel whips out a stake and prepares to stake himself. Spike who is about to shrug and walk away suddenly has a flashback to a scene set long ago full of obscene vampire slashy goodness, which leads him to realise that he could not go on without his sire and their amusing love/hate relationship.
"Angel, step away from that stake...and win a shopping spree with Trinny and Susanna...What? It's convincing on the coffee advert"
Angel looks briefly confused, before returning to his attention to working his long, hard ...stake, people, get your head out the gutter.
"Angel, listen to me, you can't do this..."
The older man looked over at his childe "Why not? It's all gone ... they cancelled my show" With this Angel burst into tears, the tears where tinged pink with blood... what? It happens in all the best fic's.
"What!?" screamed the outraged peroxide blond "They can't do that"
"They can and they have" explained a miserable Angel, "The WB has the power, them and their scary cartoon rabbit"
A mortified Spike studied the brunette vampire and realised he was telling the truth "But, they can't get rid of you, you're the worlds favou... second favourite souled vampire...without you there will be no one with the power to help the hopeless...I mean helpless"
"That's not true, they still have Clark Kent, I'm sure he'll take a few minutes out of his busy day following Lana around to help people"
"But that's not enough just one show cannot make a difference... with the demise of Stargate, Friends, and Sex and the City, were doomed...doomed to a life time of soap operas and reality TV shows"
Simultaneously the vampires looked at each other "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"God this is terrible Angel, if they cancel your show, you will never get to shag shoes ...or sushi...shanshuk...or whatever"
"Shanshu?" "Yeah that too, and there will be no more brooding, no more girl power in the form of a petit blond, no more twisted sex lives, and no more useless subplots...."
****** Meanwhile, somewhere else that is completely irrelevant to the story, Gunn was eating a cheesecake.
******
"... no more apocalypses, or disastrous magic, no more gory plastic surgery (What this isn't a Nip/Tuck crossover...okay), and no more creatively thought up demons"
Just then, the door to Angels office was flung open by a flustered looking Wesley.
Angel, good you're here, I need your help researching some particularly gruesome demons, they are the sacred protectors, of the monks that are in league with the uncles of the guardians of the sacred word 'Ni', they are the Ooheeoohahahtingtangwallawallabingbang demons of the hell dimension Newcastle." Wesley hurriedly explained.
He was about to go on and describe the kinky mating habits of the beasts when he noticed the stake poised over his boss's heart and the pained expression of the other vampire.
"Oh gosh, I say, dear lord" he said in his stereotypically British manner "What is going on?"
"They cancelled the show" explained a sombre Spike
"Oh dear, this is dreadful, we must find a solution immediately, if they cancel 'Angel' we'll all be out of a job, we'll be destined to have walk on parts in lesser shows, the ex-stars of Buffy: the Vampire Slayer will never get the title of gueststar, and I will never have the opportunity to grope Aly in-between scenes. There is so much more to do still, we have to discover the secrets of the senior partners, and defeat evil forever, there are plenty more story arcs, and an infinite number of irrelevant subplots to go around."
****** Meanwhile, Gunn was finishing his cheesecake, he put the last mouth spoonful in his mouth, and a happy feeling washed over him.... Almost orgasmic... god, that was one hell of a cheesecake.
******
"He's right, Angel" Said Fred who had conveniently been passing the door during the conversation. "Angel must continue, otherwise Wes' will never get the chance to see me naked, and all the sexual tension that continues to float around us will build up inside him until he eventually explodes"
"Eh, figuratively or literally?"
"I don't know, you can never be sure on this show"
Everyone turned to look as the late Doyle and Cordelia walked into the office.
"Didn't you both die?" Questions a confused spike
"Well yeah, but we came back needle brain... you were expecting us to stay dead, what are you deficient?" said a bitchy Cordelia, momentarily reverting back to her seventeen year old self.
"Ya, Angel," Doyle explained "we're here ta tell ya, ya can't give up like this, they need ya, we need ya. Tink of all the good times we've had together, ya know all that death and destruction."
"We did have fun didn't we... Angel investigations, they we're the good times"
"and don't forget the fun we had together before the curse as part of the with the girls, all that death and destruction" Spike added helpfully.
"Ya those were the days, were they not Will' me lad," Angel agreed, reverting to the bad Irish accent that surfaces when he, gets drunk, is evil, or reminisces about the good old days.
Just then Lorne decides to join the party, along with his choreographically challenged cousin Numfar.
"This is a nightmare Angelcakes, cause if you don't have your show, sweetiepie will never get with sugarbuns, and cookiedough will never resolve things doughnuts and sugarpie...and I still haven't tried out all my extra stylish Armani suits...No really, this is terrible. Do the dance of infinite misery, Numfar."
As the odd looking pylean started to dance, everyone fell silent revelling in their infinite misery.
They were soon interrupted by a small blond slayer and her red haired companion.
"Buffy, Willow? What are you doing here?" Angel questioned, surprised.
Willow stepped forward to answer the dark vampire, as Buffy was already shagging Spike in the nearby closet. "well, we thought we should stop by and help your cause, we can't get by without you Angel, without you we cannot gueststar and contribute to ridiculous subplots."
****** Just then Gunn decided to join the group gathered in Angel's quarters, licking his lips in the aftermath of that fantastic cheesecake.
"You see Angel," the witch continued "If 'Angel' does not continue, Joss Whedon will no longer have a job, he will loose everything, his life will be meaningless, and he will be forever doomed to watch firefly reruns, you have to go on."
"That would be a shame" said Numfar...who was still unfortunately dancing "he's such a good looking guy"
Angel looked around at the people assembled in the room and finally lowered the lethal piece of wood, he looked at the 10 people in the office...or closet, and realised that Angel would forever go on, no matter what.
"Okay guys, lets go and help the hopeless...I mean helpless."
"Fantastic Angel lets go"
"Should we wait for buffy and..."
"SPIIIKKEEE!"
"No I think their kinda busy"
********* OKAY LAME ENDING I KNOW, I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME, PLEASE REVIEW *HUGS* LOLLY
10 Reasons to Save Angel's Ass
The peroxide blonde vampire ambled aimlessly around the deserted corridors of the almost brand swanky new Wolfram and Hart building. Everyone had retired for the night leaving Spike alone, and unwatched to do whatever he wanted, there was so much mischief and mayhem he could cause. So of course, just because this story wouldn't work if he was off causing chaos, he was bored, and walking around without purpose.
As he was walking past Angel's office, he heard a suspicious noise. He had thought he was completely alone in the building, but instead of running in to investigate, he took a moment out to cock his head to one side and raise his scarred brow...yes, not just any brow; the one with the scar.
Realising that he should do something, he unfolded his arms from that protective position that made him seem so vulnerable all season, and ran into the room. He was taken aback to discover his sire sitting in the dark brooding, as this is an uncommon occurrence, surely something must be up.
Abruptly, without warning, Angel whips out a stake and prepares to stake himself. Spike who is about to shrug and walk away suddenly has a flashback to a scene set long ago full of obscene vampire slashy goodness, which leads him to realise that he could not go on without his sire and their amusing love/hate relationship.
"Angel, step away from that stake...and win a shopping spree with Trinny and Susanna...What? It's convincing on the coffee advert"
Angel looks briefly confused, before returning to his attention to working his long, hard ...stake, people, get your head out the gutter.
"Angel, listen to me, you can't do this..."
The older man looked over at his childe "Why not? It's all gone ... they cancelled my show" With this Angel burst into tears, the tears where tinged pink with blood... what? It happens in all the best fic's.
"What!?" screamed the outraged peroxide blond "They can't do that"
"They can and they have" explained a miserable Angel, "The WB has the power, them and their scary cartoon rabbit"
A mortified Spike studied the brunette vampire and realised he was telling the truth "But, they can't get rid of you, you're the worlds favou... second favourite souled vampire...without you there will be no one with the power to help the hopeless...I mean helpless"
"That's not true, they still have Clark Kent, I'm sure he'll take a few minutes out of his busy day following Lana around to help people"
"But that's not enough just one show cannot make a difference... with the demise of Stargate, Friends, and Sex and the City, were doomed...doomed to a life time of soap operas and reality TV shows"
Simultaneously the vampires looked at each other "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"God this is terrible Angel, if they cancel your show, you will never get to shag shoes ...or sushi...shanshuk...or whatever"
"Shanshu?" "Yeah that too, and there will be no more brooding, no more girl power in the form of a petit blond, no more twisted sex lives, and no more useless subplots...."
****** Meanwhile, somewhere else that is completely irrelevant to the story, Gunn was eating a cheesecake.
******
"... no more apocalypses, or disastrous magic, no more gory plastic surgery (What this isn't a Nip/Tuck crossover...okay), and no more creatively thought up demons"
Just then, the door to Angels office was flung open by a flustered looking Wesley.
Angel, good you're here, I need your help researching some particularly gruesome demons, they are the sacred protectors, of the monks that are in league with the uncles of the guardians of the sacred word 'Ni', they are the Ooheeoohahahtingtangwallawallabingbang demons of the hell dimension Newcastle." Wesley hurriedly explained.
He was about to go on and describe the kinky mating habits of the beasts when he noticed the stake poised over his boss's heart and the pained expression of the other vampire.
"Oh gosh, I say, dear lord" he said in his stereotypically British manner "What is going on?"
"They cancelled the show" explained a sombre Spike
"Oh dear, this is dreadful, we must find a solution immediately, if they cancel 'Angel' we'll all be out of a job, we'll be destined to have walk on parts in lesser shows, the ex-stars of Buffy: the Vampire Slayer will never get the title of gueststar, and I will never have the opportunity to grope Aly in-between scenes. There is so much more to do still, we have to discover the secrets of the senior partners, and defeat evil forever, there are plenty more story arcs, and an infinite number of irrelevant subplots to go around."
****** Meanwhile, Gunn was finishing his cheesecake, he put the last mouth spoonful in his mouth, and a happy feeling washed over him.... Almost orgasmic... god, that was one hell of a cheesecake.
******
"He's right, Angel" Said Fred who had conveniently been passing the door during the conversation. "Angel must continue, otherwise Wes' will never get the chance to see me naked, and all the sexual tension that continues to float around us will build up inside him until he eventually explodes"
"Eh, figuratively or literally?"
"I don't know, you can never be sure on this show"
Everyone turned to look as the late Doyle and Cordelia walked into the office.
"Didn't you both die?" Questions a confused spike
"Well yeah, but we came back needle brain... you were expecting us to stay dead, what are you deficient?" said a bitchy Cordelia, momentarily reverting back to her seventeen year old self.
"Ya, Angel," Doyle explained "we're here ta tell ya, ya can't give up like this, they need ya, we need ya. Tink of all the good times we've had together, ya know all that death and destruction."
"We did have fun didn't we... Angel investigations, they we're the good times"
"and don't forget the fun we had together before the curse as part of the with the girls, all that death and destruction" Spike added helpfully.
"Ya those were the days, were they not Will' me lad," Angel agreed, reverting to the bad Irish accent that surfaces when he, gets drunk, is evil, or reminisces about the good old days.
Just then Lorne decides to join the party, along with his choreographically challenged cousin Numfar.
"This is a nightmare Angelcakes, cause if you don't have your show, sweetiepie will never get with sugarbuns, and cookiedough will never resolve things doughnuts and sugarpie...and I still haven't tried out all my extra stylish Armani suits...No really, this is terrible. Do the dance of infinite misery, Numfar."
As the odd looking pylean started to dance, everyone fell silent revelling in their infinite misery.
They were soon interrupted by a small blond slayer and her red haired companion.
"Buffy, Willow? What are you doing here?" Angel questioned, surprised.
Willow stepped forward to answer the dark vampire, as Buffy was already shagging Spike in the nearby closet. "well, we thought we should stop by and help your cause, we can't get by without you Angel, without you we cannot gueststar and contribute to ridiculous subplots."
****** Just then Gunn decided to join the group gathered in Angel's quarters, licking his lips in the aftermath of that fantastic cheesecake.
"You see Angel," the witch continued "If 'Angel' does not continue, Joss Whedon will no longer have a job, he will loose everything, his life will be meaningless, and he will be forever doomed to watch firefly reruns, you have to go on."
"That would be a shame" said Numfar...who was still unfortunately dancing "he's such a good looking guy"
Angel looked around at the people assembled in the room and finally lowered the lethal piece of wood, he looked at the 10 people in the office...or closet, and realised that Angel would forever go on, no matter what.
"Okay guys, lets go and help the hopeless...I mean helpless."
"Fantastic Angel lets go"
"Should we wait for buffy and..."
"SPIIIKKEEE!"
"No I think their kinda busy"
********* OKAY LAME ENDING I KNOW, I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME, PLEASE REVIEW *HUGS* LOLLY