Numb: An Emptiness In My Soul
1. The Hell Day
By: Lady of the Mystics
AN: Hello, all! I am the Lady of the Mystics. I used to be known as IceQueen, but this is my new p/n, so deal. I know I haven't even nearly finished my other Sweep fic, Puzzle Pieces, but this idea came to me, and I had to write it down. I hope you enjoy it.
P.S.- This is another non-Morgan centered fic. In fact, she's not even a major character, really. Yet, that is.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, settings, or ideas taken from the Sweep series. I don't own the Sweep series either, sadly. Everything belongs to Cate Tiernan, the genius, except for characters which I have come from my own subconscious. Please don't steal those.
__________
July 7th, 1984
Today, too embarrassed to pay for it, I stole a home pregnancy test from the drug store. When I got home, nobody was here, so I took it. Everything was as I feared. I'm pregnant. I also know who the father is. Rian*. The only boy I've ever had sex with. Of course, he won't admit to it. He doesn't want the responsibility. What am I going to do when my parents find out?
-Jillian
I stare at the wind, smiling sky, and the lush, green, rolling hills.
It's always like this. When I dream, that is. This place, it reaches inside of me, and calms me to the core. All my problems melt away.
To my left is the circle of stones, as always. There is stands, silent, vigilant, as though it were watching, and waiting for something or someone.
Fabric rustles around my legs, grazing the tops of my bare feet.
A chirping- chirping? I think to myself. "Oh shit!" I cried as I shot out of bed. The chirping was my alarm clock, and if I don't get my ass in gear I'll be late for school.
Rolling out of bed, I examine what little I'd been able to unpack in the three hours I'd been here, and decide on one of my favorite outfits.
The short, denim skirt clings, hugging my slight curves, and showing a good three inches more than it should. The purple tank top shows just a bit of cleavage, while the see-through black top covering it exposes my tattoos and piercings. My four-inch heeled stiletto-type boots boost me up to 5'10". Yes, this will definitely make an impression at my new school.
"Kalia! Wake up! Breakfast!" My mom calls up the stairs. "Be down in a minute!" I yell back.
Quickly, I roll my black-red hair into its trademark bun-things, one on each side of my head, and do my make-up. Then I tromp down the stairs, avoiding any boxes. I cannot break these heels.
"What's for breakfast?" I ask upon entering the kitchen. My dad looks up from the stove and smiles. "Morning Kali. Today's menu is french toast a la mode," He says.
Now, my dad is not one to have ice cream for breakfast. He's a health food freak. Seriously. He's actually a doctor, but he sometimes does dietary and fitness consultations.
"You forgot to go shopping didn't you?" I asked as my mom walked into the kitchen. "Yes," my mom answered, giving him a mock-scathing look. He smiled sheepishly.
I walked around him and started piling a plate with ice cream... and one piece of french toast. Hey, I was going to take advantage of this while it lasted! Mom raised an eyebrow, but I ignored her and sat on a box labelled KITCHEN to eat.
__________
No sooner had I finished my last sticky spoonful of ice cream, then a heavily-laden backpack landed at my feet. "C'mon, we've got to get goin'," My mom said. "But I gotta brush-"
"I put it inside. You can brush them at school. Let's go!" She said, clapping her hands. She was way more excited than I was. Is that normal?
My mom talked the whole ride there. The gist of it was no drinking, no sex, no drugs, and most of all NO FIGHTS! In that exact order of least to greatest. I had a tendency to get picked on a lot.... And I don't hesitate to beat the crap out of someone.
"I know mom. First of all, I don't believe in drug use, and I already promised you no more fights," I told her. Notice, I didn't correct her about the sex or booze. Not that I plan on hoein' it around town, but let's be realistic, it might happen.
My mother sighed deeply. "I know honey, but I worry, that's all."
"I understand mom," We pulled in front of a red, brick building, "Love you mom! Bye!" I called and got out of the car, backpack in hand.
As I walked up to the door I noticed most of the kids were wearing long sleeves. Why? It was warm enough not to.
Widow's Vale High loomed above me and I sighed. This was the third school in two years. I pulled open the door and headed to the nearest Girls' Room.
In there I brushed my teeth and touched up on the burgundy lipstick which I had chosen to wear this morning. Feeling more ready, I walked to the Principal's Office.
"May I help you?" An elderly woman with oh-so-obviously dyed red hair asked. "Yes. I'm a transfer student. My name is Kalia Dennings."
"Of course! Ms. Dennings! Please have a seat. The principal will be with you in a moment," the woman, Mrs. Shue, told me.
I sat in one of the barely padded office seats. A minute later out came a heavily balding man who was very short. He waved me into his office, and indicated that I should sit down.
"Well, Ms.- uh, Dennings. I'm Mr.Terance, the school's principal." He looked at my transcripts, then back up at me.
"Ms. Dennings, I'm going to be perfectly frank. You don't have the best grades. You've never been involved in extra-curricular activities. It says here that you also have an authority problem.
"The teachers here will not tolerate your behavior or lack of participation. We are much more involved than Chicago. Our school system is more challenging. You must keep your grades up and stay out of trouble. It says here that if you get seven more police referrals you will be placed in reform school. Make your decisions wisely," The Principal told me, his second chin quivering the entire time.
I stood up and saluted him with my cockiest grin plastered on my face. "Yes, sir!" I said. He turned red in the face, and shoved a stack of books at me with a piece of paper on top. I left, dragging with my my bag and books.
I put my things in my locker, taking with me one notebook, and a pen. I was starting to regret the soldier impersonation, but I couldn't help myself. Mentally shrugging it off I went to my first hour class. It was calculus.
You may be wondering how I got into calculus, a senior math class, with such shitty grades. Well, I never did the homework, but I tested on the genius level, and always did excellent on quizzes and tests. So they let me be in advanced. The same thing goes for science.
I walked inside, and handed the teacher my building pass. He pointed to a vacant seat in the back and told me to sit there.
As I passed the rows of cheap, old desks I could feel eyes boring into the back of my head. I was used to it though, and continued to my seat. As I sat the teacher began speaking.
"Class, we have a new student today. Please say hello to Kalia Dennings."
He pronounced it 'Khal-ee-uh.' I corrected him after the class murmured a greeting. "Actually," I began, "It's pronounced 'Kuh-lay-uh.' He didn't look too happy at being corrected.
"Open to chapter 27," He ordered. I stared blankly at my desk. "Here," The girl next to me said. A textbook slid into view. I looked up at the person and said thanks. She scooted closer to see the textbook.
"I'm Morgan." She said once the teacher was so enthralled by the sound of his own voice.
"Kalia. Call me Kali, if you please." I introduced myself.
"Where'd you transfer from?" She asked.
"Chicago."
Suddenly Morgan was very quiet, but I could still feel her eyes on me. I turned and caught her staring at my tattoo. "Yes?" I asked her. "Where'd you get that?" She asked.
"Well, it was originally a birthmark, I just elaborated it. Why? You like it?" I asked, honestly curious. She nodded, and turned her attention back to class.
Odd, I thought to myself. Most people liked my tattoo. They would come up and compliment me on it, and we'd usually stand and talk for a few more minutes.
The small dagger stood upright with a vine rose clamoring all over it. The rose bloomed on top,and dripped blood onto the ground. It was really quite a work of art. What was Morgan's problem?
The bell rang and I got out as fast as I could. I went to history, then Spanish, gym, art, lunch (can you believe they grade you on lunch?), and then to physics. Cue the Empire's theme music from Star Wars. ·
¶
Dr.Gonzalez walked in and I could practically see the boring-vibe oozing off of him. I noticed Morgan was in this class too, but the only available seat was next to a girl with dyed black hair.
"Open up your text and read pages 374 to 378."
I raised my hand. He looked at me in annoyance, and nodded. I took that as permission to speak freely. "I don't have a textbook," I lied easily. "Share with Raven," He ordered.
I looked around stupidly until the girl next to me shoved her book under my nose. "There. You break it, you buy it."
"Yeah. Thanks," I muttered.
"Whatever." She said in reply.
After 20 minutes of reading the teacher stood, and began to discuss Newton's Third Law. I volunteered my wit and humor into the debate.
"If everything has an equal, but opposite reaction, then why doesn't it work like this? Two friends are walking down the hall. Friend A punches Friend B, but A says, 'Hey, quit punching me!'
"Get it? The opposite person gave an equal reaction to the action," I said.
I heard quite a few snickers including Morgan, and the girl, Raven.
After ten minutes of Dr. Gonzalez's ranting the bell rang, signalling the end of class. I walked out, hurrying, and was surprised to hear, "Hey! Wait up!"
I turned and saw Raven striding towards me. "Yeah?" I asked when she caught up to me. "You're funny. Where'd you come up with what you said to Dr. G?" She asked. "I thought of it," I responded, wary.
What was with people here? The ones that start out nice turn rude, and the rude ones become nice!
"Huh. Cool. So where're you from?" Raven asked.
"Chicago." I answered.
"Did you live in the projects?" She asked me.
"Do I look like I did?"
"No," She admitted, "But people aren't always what they seem."
With a shock I realized she was staring at another of my tattoos.
"Nice pentacle," Raven said finally.
"A what?" I asked, completely confused.
"Pentacle. An encircled star. In Wicca it's usually used as a symbol of protection, or a declaration of someone who practices it." She informed me, like everyone in the world knew that, but me.
"Oh. Okay. Cool." After a moment I asked, "What's Wicca?"
"A religion. It focuses on a male and female deity, and honors nature," Raven said, very matter-of-factly.
"Way cool. It's about time women got some religious recognition!" I said with a smile.
"Yeah," Raven said, then stopped outside a door, "See ya!" She called and walked inside.
__________
I kept on walking until I made it to my class, a second before the bell rang. English flew by fast. Before I knew it I was in my homeroom. Busy being bored, I suppose. Then I was on my way outside, bag free, despite the fact that I had homework, and someone was calling behind me.
"Hey!" I heard. I slowed down and waited for Raven.
"How was class?" She asked.
"Boring," I replied. She snorted and told me to get used to it. It doesn't get any better.
We walked to the parking lot where a bunch of kids were gathered near a big, white car. "Hey," Raven called, "Circle's still on right?" "Yeah," A little blond answered. "Cool," Raven said, seating herself on the car's hood.
I stood, feeling very much the outsider. More people were staring at my tattoos.
Suddenly Raven stood up. "Hey everyone!" She called. All the chatter stopped and everybody looked at her. "I submit for your approval my new friend, Kalia. She just transferred from Chicago!"
I was dumbstruck as everyone turned towards me and said hi. "Just thought I'd introduce you so ya'll aren't kept in suspense," Raven said as an explanation.
To my surprise Morgan stepped up and shook my hand. "Nice to see you again."
"Alright, I've got to get home. See you all on Saturday!" Raven called as she took my arm, and led me away.
"So what did you think?" She asked me. "Who are they?" I asked her. I admit, I was slightly dazed from all those people. They didn't look like the type Raven would hang with. "My coven." Raven answered.
Finally we stopped at a beat-up, old car. "You need a lift?" Raven asked, already opening the passenger door. "Yeah," I murmured and got it.
A second later we were on the way to my new house.
"So what's with all the tattoos?" Raven asked.
I shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as I could. "I like them."
"Me too," Raven said, and pointed to the flames on her naval.
I smiled. "So what's with Wicca and the coven and all that?"
"Well..." She hesitated, "I'm not the best one to explain it to you. If you're interested I guess you could come to the circle tomorrow night."
"What's a circle?" I asked, fiddling with a rosary which I'd gotten from a junk sale.
"Oh, like a casual observance of the week. No biggie." Raven explained vaguely.
"Okay. I'll go." What could it hurt?
"Great!" She said as we pulled into the driveway, "I'll pick you up at seven. Bye!"
I waved as I walked inside and watched as Raven peeled out of the driveway. Today had been a pretty good day despite all the school.
*You all remember Rian from my other fic Puzzle Pieces, right? Well, he has some secrets apparently. I know I haven't really discussed much in the way of Rian, but there it is.
__________
AN: ::sings:: R-E-V-I-E-W! Find out how much faster I post! R-E-V-I-E-W! Find out how much faster I post! Awww, REVIEW! Just a little one! I want some! Just a little one! (You know, I will spare you from another Author's Note like this if you just review.....)
1. The Hell Day
By: Lady of the Mystics
AN: Hello, all! I am the Lady of the Mystics. I used to be known as IceQueen, but this is my new p/n, so deal. I know I haven't even nearly finished my other Sweep fic, Puzzle Pieces, but this idea came to me, and I had to write it down. I hope you enjoy it.
P.S.- This is another non-Morgan centered fic. In fact, she's not even a major character, really. Yet, that is.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, settings, or ideas taken from the Sweep series. I don't own the Sweep series either, sadly. Everything belongs to Cate Tiernan, the genius, except for characters which I have come from my own subconscious. Please don't steal those.
__________
July 7th, 1984
Today, too embarrassed to pay for it, I stole a home pregnancy test from the drug store. When I got home, nobody was here, so I took it. Everything was as I feared. I'm pregnant. I also know who the father is. Rian*. The only boy I've ever had sex with. Of course, he won't admit to it. He doesn't want the responsibility. What am I going to do when my parents find out?
-Jillian
I stare at the wind, smiling sky, and the lush, green, rolling hills.
It's always like this. When I dream, that is. This place, it reaches inside of me, and calms me to the core. All my problems melt away.
To my left is the circle of stones, as always. There is stands, silent, vigilant, as though it were watching, and waiting for something or someone.
Fabric rustles around my legs, grazing the tops of my bare feet.
A chirping- chirping? I think to myself. "Oh shit!" I cried as I shot out of bed. The chirping was my alarm clock, and if I don't get my ass in gear I'll be late for school.
Rolling out of bed, I examine what little I'd been able to unpack in the three hours I'd been here, and decide on one of my favorite outfits.
The short, denim skirt clings, hugging my slight curves, and showing a good three inches more than it should. The purple tank top shows just a bit of cleavage, while the see-through black top covering it exposes my tattoos and piercings. My four-inch heeled stiletto-type boots boost me up to 5'10". Yes, this will definitely make an impression at my new school.
"Kalia! Wake up! Breakfast!" My mom calls up the stairs. "Be down in a minute!" I yell back.
Quickly, I roll my black-red hair into its trademark bun-things, one on each side of my head, and do my make-up. Then I tromp down the stairs, avoiding any boxes. I cannot break these heels.
"What's for breakfast?" I ask upon entering the kitchen. My dad looks up from the stove and smiles. "Morning Kali. Today's menu is french toast a la mode," He says.
Now, my dad is not one to have ice cream for breakfast. He's a health food freak. Seriously. He's actually a doctor, but he sometimes does dietary and fitness consultations.
"You forgot to go shopping didn't you?" I asked as my mom walked into the kitchen. "Yes," my mom answered, giving him a mock-scathing look. He smiled sheepishly.
I walked around him and started piling a plate with ice cream... and one piece of french toast. Hey, I was going to take advantage of this while it lasted! Mom raised an eyebrow, but I ignored her and sat on a box labelled KITCHEN to eat.
__________
No sooner had I finished my last sticky spoonful of ice cream, then a heavily-laden backpack landed at my feet. "C'mon, we've got to get goin'," My mom said. "But I gotta brush-"
"I put it inside. You can brush them at school. Let's go!" She said, clapping her hands. She was way more excited than I was. Is that normal?
My mom talked the whole ride there. The gist of it was no drinking, no sex, no drugs, and most of all NO FIGHTS! In that exact order of least to greatest. I had a tendency to get picked on a lot.... And I don't hesitate to beat the crap out of someone.
"I know mom. First of all, I don't believe in drug use, and I already promised you no more fights," I told her. Notice, I didn't correct her about the sex or booze. Not that I plan on hoein' it around town, but let's be realistic, it might happen.
My mother sighed deeply. "I know honey, but I worry, that's all."
"I understand mom," We pulled in front of a red, brick building, "Love you mom! Bye!" I called and got out of the car, backpack in hand.
As I walked up to the door I noticed most of the kids were wearing long sleeves. Why? It was warm enough not to.
Widow's Vale High loomed above me and I sighed. This was the third school in two years. I pulled open the door and headed to the nearest Girls' Room.
In there I brushed my teeth and touched up on the burgundy lipstick which I had chosen to wear this morning. Feeling more ready, I walked to the Principal's Office.
"May I help you?" An elderly woman with oh-so-obviously dyed red hair asked. "Yes. I'm a transfer student. My name is Kalia Dennings."
"Of course! Ms. Dennings! Please have a seat. The principal will be with you in a moment," the woman, Mrs. Shue, told me.
I sat in one of the barely padded office seats. A minute later out came a heavily balding man who was very short. He waved me into his office, and indicated that I should sit down.
"Well, Ms.- uh, Dennings. I'm Mr.Terance, the school's principal." He looked at my transcripts, then back up at me.
"Ms. Dennings, I'm going to be perfectly frank. You don't have the best grades. You've never been involved in extra-curricular activities. It says here that you also have an authority problem.
"The teachers here will not tolerate your behavior or lack of participation. We are much more involved than Chicago. Our school system is more challenging. You must keep your grades up and stay out of trouble. It says here that if you get seven more police referrals you will be placed in reform school. Make your decisions wisely," The Principal told me, his second chin quivering the entire time.
I stood up and saluted him with my cockiest grin plastered on my face. "Yes, sir!" I said. He turned red in the face, and shoved a stack of books at me with a piece of paper on top. I left, dragging with my my bag and books.
I put my things in my locker, taking with me one notebook, and a pen. I was starting to regret the soldier impersonation, but I couldn't help myself. Mentally shrugging it off I went to my first hour class. It was calculus.
You may be wondering how I got into calculus, a senior math class, with such shitty grades. Well, I never did the homework, but I tested on the genius level, and always did excellent on quizzes and tests. So they let me be in advanced. The same thing goes for science.
I walked inside, and handed the teacher my building pass. He pointed to a vacant seat in the back and told me to sit there.
As I passed the rows of cheap, old desks I could feel eyes boring into the back of my head. I was used to it though, and continued to my seat. As I sat the teacher began speaking.
"Class, we have a new student today. Please say hello to Kalia Dennings."
He pronounced it 'Khal-ee-uh.' I corrected him after the class murmured a greeting. "Actually," I began, "It's pronounced 'Kuh-lay-uh.' He didn't look too happy at being corrected.
"Open to chapter 27," He ordered. I stared blankly at my desk. "Here," The girl next to me said. A textbook slid into view. I looked up at the person and said thanks. She scooted closer to see the textbook.
"I'm Morgan." She said once the teacher was so enthralled by the sound of his own voice.
"Kalia. Call me Kali, if you please." I introduced myself.
"Where'd you transfer from?" She asked.
"Chicago."
Suddenly Morgan was very quiet, but I could still feel her eyes on me. I turned and caught her staring at my tattoo. "Yes?" I asked her. "Where'd you get that?" She asked.
"Well, it was originally a birthmark, I just elaborated it. Why? You like it?" I asked, honestly curious. She nodded, and turned her attention back to class.
Odd, I thought to myself. Most people liked my tattoo. They would come up and compliment me on it, and we'd usually stand and talk for a few more minutes.
The small dagger stood upright with a vine rose clamoring all over it. The rose bloomed on top,and dripped blood onto the ground. It was really quite a work of art. What was Morgan's problem?
The bell rang and I got out as fast as I could. I went to history, then Spanish, gym, art, lunch (can you believe they grade you on lunch?), and then to physics. Cue the Empire's theme music from Star Wars. ·
¶
Dr.Gonzalez walked in and I could practically see the boring-vibe oozing off of him. I noticed Morgan was in this class too, but the only available seat was next to a girl with dyed black hair.
"Open up your text and read pages 374 to 378."
I raised my hand. He looked at me in annoyance, and nodded. I took that as permission to speak freely. "I don't have a textbook," I lied easily. "Share with Raven," He ordered.
I looked around stupidly until the girl next to me shoved her book under my nose. "There. You break it, you buy it."
"Yeah. Thanks," I muttered.
"Whatever." She said in reply.
After 20 minutes of reading the teacher stood, and began to discuss Newton's Third Law. I volunteered my wit and humor into the debate.
"If everything has an equal, but opposite reaction, then why doesn't it work like this? Two friends are walking down the hall. Friend A punches Friend B, but A says, 'Hey, quit punching me!'
"Get it? The opposite person gave an equal reaction to the action," I said.
I heard quite a few snickers including Morgan, and the girl, Raven.
After ten minutes of Dr. Gonzalez's ranting the bell rang, signalling the end of class. I walked out, hurrying, and was surprised to hear, "Hey! Wait up!"
I turned and saw Raven striding towards me. "Yeah?" I asked when she caught up to me. "You're funny. Where'd you come up with what you said to Dr. G?" She asked. "I thought of it," I responded, wary.
What was with people here? The ones that start out nice turn rude, and the rude ones become nice!
"Huh. Cool. So where're you from?" Raven asked.
"Chicago." I answered.
"Did you live in the projects?" She asked me.
"Do I look like I did?"
"No," She admitted, "But people aren't always what they seem."
With a shock I realized she was staring at another of my tattoos.
"Nice pentacle," Raven said finally.
"A what?" I asked, completely confused.
"Pentacle. An encircled star. In Wicca it's usually used as a symbol of protection, or a declaration of someone who practices it." She informed me, like everyone in the world knew that, but me.
"Oh. Okay. Cool." After a moment I asked, "What's Wicca?"
"A religion. It focuses on a male and female deity, and honors nature," Raven said, very matter-of-factly.
"Way cool. It's about time women got some religious recognition!" I said with a smile.
"Yeah," Raven said, then stopped outside a door, "See ya!" She called and walked inside.
__________
I kept on walking until I made it to my class, a second before the bell rang. English flew by fast. Before I knew it I was in my homeroom. Busy being bored, I suppose. Then I was on my way outside, bag free, despite the fact that I had homework, and someone was calling behind me.
"Hey!" I heard. I slowed down and waited for Raven.
"How was class?" She asked.
"Boring," I replied. She snorted and told me to get used to it. It doesn't get any better.
We walked to the parking lot where a bunch of kids were gathered near a big, white car. "Hey," Raven called, "Circle's still on right?" "Yeah," A little blond answered. "Cool," Raven said, seating herself on the car's hood.
I stood, feeling very much the outsider. More people were staring at my tattoos.
Suddenly Raven stood up. "Hey everyone!" She called. All the chatter stopped and everybody looked at her. "I submit for your approval my new friend, Kalia. She just transferred from Chicago!"
I was dumbstruck as everyone turned towards me and said hi. "Just thought I'd introduce you so ya'll aren't kept in suspense," Raven said as an explanation.
To my surprise Morgan stepped up and shook my hand. "Nice to see you again."
"Alright, I've got to get home. See you all on Saturday!" Raven called as she took my arm, and led me away.
"So what did you think?" She asked me. "Who are they?" I asked her. I admit, I was slightly dazed from all those people. They didn't look like the type Raven would hang with. "My coven." Raven answered.
Finally we stopped at a beat-up, old car. "You need a lift?" Raven asked, already opening the passenger door. "Yeah," I murmured and got it.
A second later we were on the way to my new house.
"So what's with all the tattoos?" Raven asked.
I shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as I could. "I like them."
"Me too," Raven said, and pointed to the flames on her naval.
I smiled. "So what's with Wicca and the coven and all that?"
"Well..." She hesitated, "I'm not the best one to explain it to you. If you're interested I guess you could come to the circle tomorrow night."
"What's a circle?" I asked, fiddling with a rosary which I'd gotten from a junk sale.
"Oh, like a casual observance of the week. No biggie." Raven explained vaguely.
"Okay. I'll go." What could it hurt?
"Great!" She said as we pulled into the driveway, "I'll pick you up at seven. Bye!"
I waved as I walked inside and watched as Raven peeled out of the driveway. Today had been a pretty good day despite all the school.
*You all remember Rian from my other fic Puzzle Pieces, right? Well, he has some secrets apparently. I know I haven't really discussed much in the way of Rian, but there it is.
__________
AN: ::sings:: R-E-V-I-E-W! Find out how much faster I post! R-E-V-I-E-W! Find out how much faster I post! Awww, REVIEW! Just a little one! I want some! Just a little one! (You know, I will spare you from another Author's Note like this if you just review.....)