Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC, just my own ideas.

Author's Notes: Ok, mellowing out a little from Mission: Sweet Vengence and I needed something a little less morbid. I wanted to create something fairly short and funny.

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The clock rang out, striking three bells as Tamaki stretched happily, knowing he would get to see his sweet Haruhi. Well, maybe not his, but you get the idea. He whistled a happy tune as he looked into the Third Music Room. It seemed that no one was there yet. Setting his bag on the floor, his ears picked up on some rustling from the back room. It was two familiar voices.

"Come on, it will feel good, I promise." One voice was that of Hikaru.

"Are you sure about this?" The other, to his horror, was Haruhi.

"Trust me, I've done this a ton of times with Kaoru. He says I'm really good."

Tamaki's mind immediately went into overdrive as he attempted to open the door, but it was locked.

"Oooh, easy, that's too hard..." Haruhi groaned.

"You just have to get used to it."

"Mmm, oh wow..."

"You like that, Haruhi?"

"Oh yeah..."

He had to keep himself from screaming as he pullled at the door handles, then searched the floor for something to open it with.

"Ah! Oh god, right there!"

"Oooh, so tight, Haruhi..."

"Yes, yes, yes...ahhh..."

Hikaru chuckled.

"Ah, oh god, that's it! Oh god, Hikaru..."

He found a bobby pin on the floor and finally undid the lock as the rest of the group appeared behind him. Tamaki flung open the door as he saw...Haruhi with her head on a pillow on her stomach and Hikaru with his hands on her back, the two fully clothed.

"PERVERT!" Tamaki pointed at the red haired boy.

"Excuse me?"

"I could hear what you two were doing!"

"You mean Hikaru fixing my back?" Haruhi stretched and sat up, a few vertebre popping. "Oh god, much better." She said, standing. "I hurt my back moving boxes yesterday."

"You were...fixing her back?"

The group looked at the their king in disgust.

"I don't think Hikaru is the pervert here..."

Tamaki just slunk into his corner as they sighed and opened the doors to the Host Club once more.