Top 10 Things that Timothy McGee is not allowed to do as dictated by Anthony DiNozzo.
10) McGee is not allowed to accept any form of concert tickets from Abby ever. It will only end in tears, his tears, for Abby will cause massive bodily and emotional pain.
9) McGeek is not allowed to tempt Ziva into showing, administrating, her knowledge of how to kill a man, me, with a paperclip.
8) McGoogle is never ever ever allowed to hire anyone! At all. No matter what the Boss says.
7) The Elf-Lord is not allowed to question the awesome that is Anthony DiNozzo at any time whatsoever.
6) McGreevy is not to touch the belongings of one Anthony DiNozzo for fear of his life.
5) McGee is not allowed to accept mail for me from any person without first x-raying the package and performing a search of the person.
4) McGeeky should not ever, ever, in a million years, rummage through the desk, purse and surrounding areas that are in the possession of Mossad agent Ziva David for he may just see the ways that she can kill a man with a paperclip.
3) If McGee would like to live to see another day, he will never ask Abby about any tattoo that she may or may not have on her person, or the location of any that she speaks of. He will not stare if he ever sees one that should be below clothing.
2) McGooky will not in any lifetime go through any database that the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security or any other federal service can track him to.
1) And finally, Timothy McGee is never allowed in any circumstance to touch anything belonging to Leroy Jethro Gibbs due to the major probability that he will lose a very important part of his being that will never grow back; namely, his head.