WARNING: I am a very erratic writer, I've been told. Updates may NOT be routine, at least until I get a new laptop. Also, this story sucks. =P Don't read it. Actually, yeah. Read it. This story is getting a facelift before I finish it up, so for those of you that have already read the beginning, not much is going to change.

But it still sucks.

AN: Seems damn near every story where Alice really does leave and then returns however many years in the future, she returns to this zombie Tarrant. That seems a little… un-Tarrant to me.

I mean, hell-o. Of course he'd be heartbroken or whatever, but I highly doubt he would just lay there and rot and Alice wouldn't be pissed when she returned. Or Alice turns all weepy and girly and it makes Tarrant go even more doey-eyed over her…

WELL THAT STOPS HERE! Not really. Don't get me wrong, because I'm guilty of reading those stories and enjoying them immensely, but I wanted to make a story where Tarrant seems more Tarrant to me, and Alice isn't off bawling her eyes out half the time.

Summary: Alice, now the successful partner of Lord Ascot in the running of her father's company meets disaster on her way from London to meet with Lord Ascot in Jakarta. Tarrant must save her from making a grave mistake and once again losing her Muchness as someone plots from the shadows of Underland…

Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll) or Tim Burton's version. If I did, do you think the movie would have ended like it did, or Johnny Depp AND Tim Burton would NOT be locked up in my attic? I mean… Really. C'mon people.

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"You know love." Came the drawl of the Cheshire Cat as he drifted by on his stomach. Alice turned to regard him with a careful smile, still clutching the vial in her hand. Chessur grinned. "We'd all miss you terribly. I think especially a certain… tea-loving madman."

Alice blushed, looking away from the cat to search for her mad, mad best friend.

Thackery babbled nervously, hoping forward and pulling at his ears. "Woah… gae! Ahhhh! Hattah's gone!"

Mirana frowned, gliding towards Alice as the group began to search frantically for any sign of pale skin and fiery orange hair. "Poor Hatter…" The White Queen came to a halt by Alice's side, one hand against her heart, the other gesturing imperiously towards the edge of the battlefield. "He must have run home, Alice."

"Home?" Alice repeated, glancing sideways at the queen as she stared in the direction Mirana had pointed. "To the Tea Garden?"

Mirana shook her head sadly. "No Alice. To his clan's home."

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"Alice…" Tarrant gave one last groan before he fell to his hands and knees in the center of the clearing, his head hanging between his arms as he choked on his sobs. His top hat fell and bounced away, and for once Tarrant felt no inclination to retrieve it. Let the stupid old tabby cat have it.

Alice was leaving. Leaving him.

Again.

He shook his head, trying to clear his foggy mind as his eyes turned a stormy gray. She would forget about him once more. But would it really matter? He shook his head. No, because she would never return. Why should she? She had a real life, a life that wasn't a dream with fake talking animals and fake queens and… and…

And fake Mad Hatters.

Tarrant shuddered, sitting back on his knees so he could cover his face with his hands.

But how could he not be real? He felt, he breathed! He felt the pain when Stayne tortured him in the dungeons. He felt anger, sadness…

Fear.

"Hatter." He felt a pair of small, soft hands touch his back as their owner knelt behind him. "You would let me leave without fairfarrens and all?"

"Does it matter?" He murmured

.

Alice sighed, leaning closer to him so she could rest her cheek on his back, just above where she felt his heart was. "It does to me… I shall miss you terribly Hatter. All of you, but I think you most of all."

"Lies."

"No." She frowned, lifting her head so she could put her chin on his shoulder and hug him around the middle. "Not a lie."

"You shan't miss me dear." His voice was so quiet, she hardly caught it. "You've a real life to return to…" Alice felt him suddenly tense beneath her, saw his hands clenching in his lap. "Real… I'm not real…"

"Hatter?" Alice clung to his shoulders, startled by his suddenly ragged breathing. "Hatter it's al-"

"No!" Tarrant leapt to his feet, his eyes blazing as he kicked his hat as hard as he could. "No!" He watched it land in the shadows of a ruined caravan before rounding on a board that had most likely belonged to a grand hat carriage, and pulled it from the dirt. "Not real!" He smashed it against a nearby rock, snarling in Outlandish as he turned in search of fresh ammo.

Alice caught him around the middle, holding him in place as he tried to throw her off. "Hatter!"

He jerked in her arms, panting wildly as his temper leveled off. "I'm… I'm fine…"

Alice turned him around, lifting her hands to hold his face. He met her gaze sadly, his eyes swirling with the saddest, most dismal grays and blues. Alice sighed. "Oh Hatter… You aren't fine…"

It brought a half-hearted smile to his face, just a twitch of his lips but it was enough to bring a bright one to Alice's own. He covered one of her hands with his, closing his eyes as he turned his face into her palm and inhaled deeply so he could commit her scent to memory. "Am I truly mad?"

"Oh yes." She told him, matter-of-factly. "You're completely off your rocker." She stood on the tips of her toes to kiss the corner of his mouth before dropping her hands to wrap herself around him, holding him as closely as possible. "But I would have you no other way."

He stood quietly in her arms, his own hanging by his side. "Which is why you've imagined me so…"

"No, Hatter." She pulled her head back, just enough to look up into his dull gray eyes. "I could never imagine so much… wonderful Muchness." She told him. "You are real, you exist!" She insisted. "You are my Mad Hatter."

His arms came up to wrap around her, holding her tightly as he buried his face into her hair. "Then do not leave me, Alice. Please. Please don't go. This is where you belong!"

"Hatter…" She stepped back, smiling at him sadly. "What an idea though." She sighed. "A crazy, mad, wonderful idea!"

His eyes lit up, so hopeful it hurt her all the more.

She so wanted to: to throw away her mad idea of returning to such a close-minded home, with that retched Hamish and his ghastly mother, all the rules and etiquette and 'normalcy'. She wanted to stay in this mad, mad Underland and live till her dying day with her Hatter and her Chess, Thackery and even Mally, the Tweedles and McTwisp, Mirana and the Bandersnatch, Bayard and his family…

Her face fell. "But I can't." Flecks of gray and blue suddenly swirled through his eyes, and all hope and liveliness seemed to drain from him. "There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do." She lifted her hand, popping open the clasp on the vial. "Be back before you know it though."

"You're a terrible liar." He murmured.

Alice smiled, tossing her head back and swallowing the contents of the vial. She tossed it to the side, and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her level so she could cover his lips with her own. "Faifarren for now, my Mad, Mad Hatter." She murmured against him.

"Alice…" He felt her fading, and turned, sprinting towards his hat. When he swooped it up into his hands once more and was jogging back towards his Alice, his fingers plucked the brilliant peacock feather free of the satin cloth and pressed it into Alice's fading hand. "Don't forget me, or I truly won't exist."

Alice reached for the pendant hanging around her neck and yanked it off, holding it out for him to take. "Hatter-" But he was already gone, less than a smoky silhouette as the pendant fell from her hand and she felt herself rush up through the darkness. The next thing she knew, she was pulling herself through the top of the rabbit hole, the feather clutched tightly in her hands.

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Steeling herself, Alice took a deep breath and stormed up to the gazebo, frowning slightly at Hamish.

"Good lord, Alice." Lord Ascot exclaimed. "Are you quite alright?"

"What happened?" Her mother demanded.

Alice waved them off. "I fell down a hole and bumped my head, but I'm quite alright." She rounded on Hamish, and her frown softened slightly. "I can't marry you Hamish. You're simply not the right man for me."

Hamish gasped, glancing behind him frantically to plead with his mother for help, but she had been struck dumb. He turned to Alice, his face beet red. "But… but Alice… you'll do no better than a future lord!"

"Perhaps not, but-" She shrugged. "You're far too sane for me Hamish, though I'm certain you'll find a lovely wife, sane as you. Who will care to hear about your digestive problems." She brushed passed him, making her way down the gazebo steps to glare at the horrid Lady Ascot. "I happen to love rabbits. Especially white ones. White ones with waistcoats and pocket watches." Her eyes suddenly narrowed, examining the woman's head. It was odd, something she'd only just noticed: Lady Ascot's head was rather… large. "Bluddy Behg Hid." She said in a quiet voice. She turned to her sister, and her face broke into a brilliant smile. "Margaret, I do love you so, but I would never be happy in a simple, quiet marriage, following the traditional steps of an English lady. I have my own path to take." She turned to her mother, still smiling. "But I will not be a burden on you, mother. I will make much of my life." She spun to face her sister, and her eyes slide towards Lowell. "Lowell," Her eyes narrowed into furious slits as she advanced on him. "You're rather lucky to have someone as wonderful and good to you as my sister. It would be wise for you to return that goodness. I'll be watching Lowell." After returning his steely gaze for a moment longer, she turned to smile fondly at Faith and Fiona, still smiling as she took a few steps towards them. "You two remind me of some funny boys I met… in a dream." The pair giggled as Alice moved away to pull Aunt Imogen into a gentle hug. "Oh Aunt Imogen, I love you so, but you must speak to someone about this Prince." She kissed her aunt's cheek and moved back to the path. She started down it when Lord Ascot's voice called her back.

"Have you forgotten me?"

Alice turned, a sly grin on her face. "Oh no, good sir. You and I, after all, have business to discuss."

Lord Ascot grinned, and gave her a slight bow of his head. "To the study then."

Alice nodded and started back down the path, when she suddenly remembered something. She turned and snatched a top hat off the head of some random stranger, and moved back to the head of the path. "One more thing-" She jammed the feather into the band and placed the top hat on her head. She reached down to hoist her skirts up, just enough to let everyone see the atrocious lack of stockings and fixed the image of the Mad Hatter firmly in her mind. Alice began to dance, twirling and bending her legs as her memory Tarrant did, earning shocked gasps from all but Lord Ascot and Margaret, and giggles from Faith and Fiona. She threw her skirts back down and gave a satisfied "Hmf!" before tipping her new hat and turning from the gazebo.

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Tarrant watched her fade away, suddenly feeling very numb.

"Poor Tarrant." Chessur sighed, floating towards the Hatter as the man sunk to his knees, staring blindly at the dirt. "His Alice, gone again. Only this time, she is no friend to him, but so very much more."

"Leave me be, cat." Tarrant rasped.

"Shame really… I had hoped you might give us another Futterwacken…" The cat evaporated and reappeared behind Tarrant, draping his tail across the madman's shoulders. "It's too bad… I do hope she doesn't mind returning to a broken shell."

Tarrant frowned, blinking a few times before his eyes fell to the shiny pendant lying in the dust. "Broken…" He murmured. Tarrant exhaled deeply as he leaned forward to pluck the string from the dirt between his bandaged thumb and forefinger, lifting it until the pendant hung at eye-level. "A broken shell…" His frown hardened as he jerked the necklace up into his hand so he could stuff it into his breast pocket and stood, brushing off his knees. "Come come Chess, Mirana no doubt expects us to return to Marmoreal for celebratory tea and scones." He took a deep breath as he walked with a jerky gait to the edge of the clearing. "And I think I could use a pot of tea. You?"

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Edited only a bit from the first version.

So there it is! Hope I can get my readers back. ^^;; I really liked this story, but stuff happened and I lost my muse. Now it's kind of worming its way back into my mind. As for the frequency of updates, you can expect one every day while I re-add old chapters. After that, unless I get on a roll, the updates may come slower, but I'll try to get one up at least once a week.