This song has been on my iPod for the longest time and it finally came to me how I wanted to incorporate it in a song…sometimes my muse works like that. This is a one-shot only, so this is it, no sequel. And it kind of moves fast. Hope you like it! As usual, I don't own Glee or the characters.
She holds it in her hands, her fingers barely trembling as she reads the loopy script splashed across the page. Her head is cloudy, she barely hears Kurt talking, his hand resting on her arm, almost as if he's trying to keep her from running away. But she wants to run, forget she ever saw this piece of paper and its haunting words. Her mouth is dry and her head spinning. She can't help but read some of the words on the paper over and over again.
Finn. Elizabeth. Engagement brunch.
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
"Why are you even asking me?" Finn was leaning back in a chair, watching as his fiancée gingerly moved a table setting for the fourth time. He would rather have been anywhere but at the Country Club deciding where place settings should go for their engagement brunch. As far as he was concerned, their guests could eat on a bare table and it would be okay with him. But no, Liz didn't want a single item out of place, so each evening after work they had come to the Country Club to perfect all of the intricate details. Liz wouldn't have it any other way.
"This is our celebration day, Finn." Liz was practically whining, a scowl creeping across her mouth. "Can't you at least pretend to act enthused?"
Finn didn't dare respond; he knew better. She had practically been a bridezilla for the last three months and the wedding was still two months away. He listened to her rant for a little while, almost missing Kurt's footsteps clicking across the marble floor.
"You come for the show?" Finn laughed, setting his chair back on the floor. Kurt didn't even seem to notice Liz's tantrum she was throwing on the other side of the room. He took a seat next to Finn, careful to lower his voice before he spoke.
"We've got a problem." Kurt whispered. Finn leaned closer, his eyes trained on Liz, still amused that she was talking aloud, despite the fact that neither of them were listening. "Rachel's in town."
"Wh-what?" Finn could barely swallow. That wasn't the problem he was prepared for.
"She came by last night." Kurt averted his eyes, narrowing them at Liz across the room. "And she saw the invitation."
Finn's shoulder sagged, though he wasn't sure why. He and Rachel hadn't spoken in sixteen months, two weeks, three days, and probably about ten hours…not that he was counting.
"And?" Finn asked, not really sure if he wanted to know.
Kurt swallowed thickly, before responding. "She was devastated." He watched Finn close his eyes momentarily.
The sound of Liz's voice getting closer snapped him back to reality. Finn slowly opened his eyes, aware that his fiancée was just inches from him, talking rather animated with Kurt. He could see her mouth moving, but the only thing he could hear in his head was the sound of Kurt's voice telling him Rachel was in New York.
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you
"You didn't want to listen to me." Santana stretched her lean legs out down the length of her couch. She eyed Rachel suspiciously, who was seated in an overstuffed chair across the room. "I told you coming back to the Big Apple was a bad idea, though the opportunity to see me was obviously not."
The Latina smirked, causing Rachel to frown. She nibbled on her nails nervously, not actually biting them, just running her teeth across them, so she felt like she was biting them.
"Why didn't you warn me?" Rachel looked accusingly at her friend. "Or Kurt? Why didn't he say anything?"
"Would it have made a difference?" Santana shrugged.
"No, I guess not." Rachel averted her eyes, staring blankly at the wooden floor. She had been so happy in L.A., doing a few movies here and there, mostly minor parts, but something had beckoned her back to New York, back to Broadway. She knew deep down it was where her heart had always been. Santana had offered her a place to stay until she got re-established in the city, but at what cost? She had kept Finn's engagement from her and now she was practically mocking her.
"Look, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need to, but I ain't putting up with no whiny ass roommate sitting around feeling sorry for herself, got it?" Santana narrowed her eyes at her friend. "That's not the Rachel Berry I know."
"Got it." Rachel nodded her head slowly. She had moved on and clearly Finn had too. Or at least she had convinced everyone else that she had.
I climbed across the mountaintops
Travel across the ocean blue
I cross over lines and I broke all the rules
And baby I broke them all for you
The cashier waved the steaming hot cup of coffee over the counter, calling out Rachel's name as she reached for it. She turned quickly, nudging carefully through the crowd of Starbuck's patrons, praying she wouldn't slosh her coffee on her outfit. She had chosen what she hoped was the perfect ensemble for a callback she had for a part in The Lion King: The Broadway Musical. It was for the part of Nala and though it wasn't her first choice of roles, she was hoping it would be a stepping stone back into Broadway. Apparently when you just abandon theater for movies, a certain number of casting directors aren't so eager to welcome you back with open arms. Rachel was unfortunately finding this out the hard way.
"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry." Rachel attempted to balance the teetering cup in one hand and blindly wipe down the poor soul she had doused in coffee.
"Rachel?" She peered up to see Finn standing directly in front of her, her hand still wiping his pants. Of all the people in New York she could spill coffee on, it had to be him.
" Oh, um…I'm sorry, I didn't…" She squeaked, trying desperately not to sound nervous.
"It's fine." Finn smiled. It was the same smile, the crooked grin that she loved so much. One of his most distinguishing features she always thought.
"No, let me see if they have a wet cloth." Rachel was practically spinning in circles, not sure which way to even go. Finn finally grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her still, just inches from him.
"Really it's ok. I know you didn't purposely throw your burning hot coffee on me." He laughed, which made her laugh as well, though a little too forcefully. "How have you been?"
"Me? Oh, I've been good." Before she knew it, he was ushering her to a small table, pulling the chair out for her to take a seat. "I was in L.A. for the past year." She wiped the bottom of her cup with one of the napkins that was still clutched in her hand.
"Yeah, I saw that movie Body of Heat you were in." Finn grinned, choosing to take the seat right next to her instead of across from her. "You were good. I always knew you'd make it big"
"It was just a small part." Her face turned a deep shade of red. "I actually came back to New York to try my hand at Broadway again."
"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow at her, sipping his own coffee slowly. She recanted her audition for Nala and the impending callback she on her way to.
"So, how's everything with you?" She asked, quickly lowering her eyes. She knew how everything had been with him. Fantastic and he was obviously in love. Did she really want to hear all the gruesome details?
"Good." He smiled, weakly. "Real good. I finally got that job at M225 doing music therapy."
"Awesome." But she already knew that. It was one of the few things apparently Kurt did fill her in on.
Finn looked at her pensively, his forehead beginning to sweat a little. He wanted to be honest with her, tell her about Liz, the engagement, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He wasn't prepared for all these newfound emotions he was feeling by seeing her again. Kurt had said she was devastated, but truthfully maybe he was too. Rachel could see his shoulders tense, his eyes darting around. She knew he was going to bring up the wedding and she didn't really want to hear about it.
"I better get going, don't want to be late for my callback." In truth she had another hour, but she didn't want him to know that. She scrambled frantically for her bag that was draped over the back of her chair.
"Oh sure, sure. I didn't mean to keep you so long." He nodded, rising from his seat as she struggled with pulling her bag free from the chair. Leaning over to help her, his face brushed hers. Both of them froze, their faces still touching. Rachel could feel her heart pounding in her chest and before she could begin to think clearly, Finn moved his face ever so slightly, allowing his lips to brush hers. He pulled away immediately, leaving her even more confused than she already was.
"I'm uh, I didn't mean to do that. I was…" Finn apologized, moving backwards, distancing himself from Rachel.
"It's ok," Rachel was breathless. "I gotta go." And with that she was gone.
Oh because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do, I was made for you
"You did what?" Santana was screeching so loud Rachel had to cover her ears. She watched as Santana finished shredding the lettuce for both of their salads, her ears still barely covered.
"I didn't do anything." Rachel protested, slipping her hands quietly from her ears.
"Well you sure as hell allowed it." Santana shook her head, plucking a carrot form the counter. "You fucking let Finn kiss you?"
"It just happened." Rachel whispered, bringing her fingers to her mouth without a second thought, tracing the same place Finn's lips had just barely touched earlier.
"And you didn't stop it." Santana pointed the carrot in her hand at her, noting that Rachel's expression had changed. She was now frowning, her eyes cast downward. "Look sweetie, he's getting married. I know it hurts, but you pushed him away. You got what you wanted. Movies and L.A., it wasn't what Finn wanted."
"You're right." Rachel attempted to smile, trying so hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to run down her face. "He has Liz now and apparently that makes him happy."
"Oh girl, I wouldn't call that happy." Santana laughed, trying to lighten the mood some. "I just call that whipped. Even Hummel thinks she's a stuck up bitch and that's saying a lot coming from him."
"Really?" Rachel was shocked, trying to picture laid back Finn with someone like that.
"But he's still marrying her." Santana pointed out.
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
All of the friends who think I'm blessed
They don't know I'm in this mess
Finn stood, staring into the mirror as the tailor folded and pinned his pants legs. Glancing to his left he could see Puck fidgeting as an older woman tried her best to keep him still, attempting to finalize the alterations to his suit. Finn chuckled as he watched his oldest friend giving the woman a hard time.
"I swear that lady stabbed me twice with those pins." Puck said, nodding towards Finn as he stood next to him, both men looking in the mirror. "Shit son, you clean up nice."
"Not so bad yourself Puckerman." Finn laughed.
"Shh, don't say that too loud. Folks might get the wrong idea." Puck jabbed Finn in the arm with his elbow. Finn didn't budge, instead staring straight into the mirror.
"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" Puck finally asked.
"I kissed her." Finn blurted out, a sense of relief actually coming over him.
"You kissed who? Liz?" Puck was confused.
"No, Rachel." Finn turned his gaze to Puck in the mirror, seeing Puck's eyes go wide.
"Wait." Puck held a finger up in the air. "What do you mean you kissed Rachel? I thought she was in L.A.?"
"She's back in New York." Finn said. "I, uh, ran into her the other day and well I accidently kissed her."
"How in the hell do you accidently kiss someone?" Puck glared at Finn. "You either do it or you don't, dumbass."
"Ok, shit, my lips brushed hers really quick." Finn sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear."
"You gonna tell Liz?" Puck raised an eyebrow at his friend.
"What? No, hell no." Finn shook his head.
"Then you gotta forget it ever happened." Puck slapped his hand on Finn's shoulder.
"That's the problem." Finn sighed, lowering his voice. "I can't seem to forget about it."
No they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through
Like you do, I was made for you
The drink burned his throat as he emptied the glass. He counted slowly in his head, trying to determine just how many of them he had drank. Screw it, he thought, swirling the ice around in the glass. This was just one more thing Liz would bitch about.
"Finn, there you are." Liz rolled her eyes dramatically. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
He knows he's in trouble the minute she spies the drink in his hand. Casually grabbing the empty glass from his hands, Liz lifted it to her nose, sniffing loudly.
"Really Finn?" Staring into his eyes, she knew he was drunk. Before she can say another word, the clanging of metal on glass can be heard echoing through the dining area. Finn could hear Liz's father clearing his throat, before offering up some sort of stupid joke at Finn's expense to the guests. Shaking her head, Liz grabbed Finn's hand, pulling him to the front of the room, settling him next to her parents, as she locked arms with him, a broad grin painted across her mouth.
"I have to say a teacher wasn't exactly what I was expecting when my Lizzie here said she had found the perfect guy." Liz's father laughed heartily, several guests joining along. He reached over, elbowing Finn in the side. Finn ignored him, craning his head at the table behind him. Someone had left a fresh mixed drink behind. Just what he needed to dull this ache in his chest. Grabbing the glass, he tossed it back quickly, stumbling in front of his future father in law, empty glass in hand.
"Wait just a damn minute Sheldon." His speech was so slurred he was practically spitting. "So, I'm not good enough for your precious little princess? What, because I'm a teacher?"
"Finn, get back over here." Liz whispered through gritted teeth, looking around to see if anyone noticed him. Finn clearly didn't hear her.
"I'm pretty sure you have the story all wrong." Finn swayed in front of Liz's father, pointing an accusing finger in his chest. "I hadn't planned on proposing, but your daughter begged me to marry her. That's right Sheldon, your Lizzie begged me. Then she pushed me to join a gym because she thought I was fat, she criticized me for the job that I love, she even scheduled an appointment at her salon to have my two gray hairs colored. And don't even get me started on how she hates the way I dress."
"Finn, please stop this." Liz was at his side, pulling his arm forcefully, whispering in his ear. "You're embarrassing us."
"Embarrassing who Liz? You and your family?" Finn waved his arm out at the crowd, pulling away from her. Several gasps could be heard from the crowd and one slightly loud chuckle from Kurt.
"My family knows the real me." He stumbled over to his mother. "And this isn't it." Waving the empty glass in the air, he threw his other arm around Carole's shoulders. Kurt came to her rescue, helping to hold Finn up before he slid to the floor.
"Easy buddy." Kurt helped Finn stand up a little straighter.
"I'm not in love with you, Liz." The room was much quieter than he would've liked. "I'm not sure I ever was. I was in love with the idea of someone actually loving me again."
"What are you talking about?" Liz marched over to where he stood. "This is crazy talk. You're drunk and not making any sense right now."
"Sure I might be drunk, but I'm not talking crazy." Funny, it was the first time he'd had clear thoughts in months. "Truth is, my heart has belonged to someone else for a very long time."
Kurt cringed as the sharp sound of a slap resonated across the quiet room. Liz pulled her hand back in horror, a large red mark splashed across Finn's cheek. No one else said a word as Liz ran from the room, the sound of her heels clicking against the floor.
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
"What brings you here, Hudson?" Santana stood in the doorway, her lips curled into a frown.
"Is Rachel here?" Finn looked down at his wrinkled suit, his tie draped haphazardly around his neck.
"No." Santana was short with him, eyeing his disheveled look. He reeked of alcohol and looked like he had just rolled out of bed. Against her better judgment, she opened the door wider, allowing Finn inside. "She ran down to the Chinese joint to get dinner for us."
"Is it ok if I wait?" Finn asked, glancing around the apartment quickly.
"Sure, but you might want to get a breath mint while you're at it." Santana closed the door. Finn took a seat on the couch, fully aware that Santana was eying him suspiciously. "Why aren't you at your engagement party?"
"I left." He really didn't want to have to get into this with Santana right now. He had come here on a mission, fueled by his feelings and tiny bit of residual alcohol.
"Do I even want to ask why?" Santana asked, her arms crossed as she leaned against the wall opposite of where Finn was sitting.
"I made a mistake." Finn mumbled, struggling to keep his emotions in check. "I didn't want to marry Liz."
"Isn't it a bit late for that?" Santana raised an eyebrow.
"I hope not." Finn shook his head.
"So you've come here to beg Rachel to take you back? You think calling off a wedding is gonna seal the deal for you?" Santana uncrossed her arms as she crossed the room, taking a seat on a barstool at her kitchen counter.
"Stop putting words in my mouth Santana." Finn was beginning to get angry. "That's not what I expect at all."
"Then what do you expect, Hudson?" She was tapping her fingers anxiously on the counter, watching Finn's face turn a light shade of red.
"Well first of all, I expect you to be a better friend." Finn could feel the heat in his face as he spoke. "I'm not expecting anything from Rachel. I love her Santana. I've never really stopped loving her. I let her go to L.A. because that's what she wanted. It wasn't what I wanted, but I never wanted to hold her back, to be the reason she didn't follow her dreams."
"Turns out my dreams really weren't in L.A." Finn's head snapped up, unsure of how long Rachel had been standing in the now barely open door, a bag of Chinese food in her hand. Santana smirked, hopping down off the barstool and sauntering over to Rachel.
"If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take my dinner into my room." Santana winked, snatching a container out of the bag then disappearing down the hall.
"You never held me back, Finn." Rachel closed the door, setting the bag on the coffee table. "We were just on different paths at the time."
"I'm sorry I let you go to L.A. alone. I should've gone with you." Finn watched her take a seat next to him on the couch.
"You would've hated it." Rachel smiled, shaking her head slightly. "In fact, I hated it."
They were both quiet for a few minutes, neither saying a word. Rachel played awkwardly with the hem on her shirt. She was unsure of what to even say at this point.
"We, uh, we can't undo all the things we did wrong." Rachel could hear the raw emotion in his voice.
"We don't need to." Rachel said quietly, her fingers still tugging on her shirt nervously. "Kurt called me and told me what happened at the party."
"Oh, um yeah that wasn't one of my finer moments." Finn rubbed the now faded spot where Liz had smacked him.
"I don't want to be the reason you call off your engagement, Finn." Finn hated to see her look so sad. He reached for her hand, closing the gap between them.
"I won't lie and say you're not the reason." He said, rubbing his thumb across the top of her hand. "Kissing you the other day brought back all these feelings I thought I'd buried. Turns out I really didn't."
Rachel wanted to throw her arms around him, smother him with affection. But she didn't. Her head told her to slow down; there were lots of other people this affected.
"I feel the same way, Finn, but you need to smooth things over with Liz." Rachel looked deep into his eyes. "The next time I kiss you, I want it to be for real, nothing holding us back."
"You're right." He pulled her in closer for a hug, resisting the urge to pepper her face with kisses. They did, after all, have sixteen months, three weeks and about fifteen hours to make up for.
Oh but these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you
Oh yeah, and it's true that I was made for you
There you have it! The song is The Story by Brandi Carlisle. Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated. Your feedback is what keeps me writing more. Thanks so much!